Category: Self help techniques

How to focus on the goodness in your life and stop complaining?

by Dr. Jodi-Anne M Smith, posted in Conscious Evolution, Self help techniques

It is human nature to notice what you do and don’t have, to see what others are doing and compare that to what you see in your own life. But everyone is here to have different experiences. You get exactly what you need for your personal growth, healing and evolution of your Spirit, your consciousness. Nothing happens by accident, it is all purposeful – serving a positive purpose to assist you in your awakening.

When you notice undesirable elements in your life, you do so to be triggered, to feel and release emotion, to heal, to motivate you to take action to change it, if you so desire. Many of you however, choose just to grumble about your life, to feel stuck, lost and focused on complaining about what is wrong. This lowers your vibration, your vitality, it flattens and deadens you. It leads to stagnation and decay. It is the road to depression and sadness.

Instead, when you notice yourself starting to feel flat, negative, sad – stop and rest. Acknowledge a part of you is tired, lonely, scared, angry – whatever it is. Send love to that part of you, knowing that it needs your love, your acceptance, and your attention. Showing care to that part of yourself, will help it to feel better and will boost your energy levels back up.

This  type of subpersonality or inner child work is so important, because it is they who are upset, not you. The Adult part of you is fine, able to make decisions and choices, able to focus on the now and flow with what is. You just have to be able to access the Adult part of you to stay in or return to balance.The Adult trusts, is resourceful and capable. When the Child takes over it feels moody, lonely, it can be negative or pessimistic, but all it is really wanting is some love, to play and have fun, to cuddle a teddy or dog, to be seen, heard, listened to and valued. Then it will let go of its sad or angry or disappointed, hurt or betrayed feelings and focus on enjoying life. It wants to have fun, not wallow, but it needs help to move out of its emotional ruts and tantrums. Send love, talk to and listen to its needs.

The Child is within us all, the younger parts of ourselves, that hold the memories of all that we have been through, that hold our hopes and dreams that we formed in our younger years. They take stock of what was, is and will be. They think they know what is going to happen, based on what has happened, but life is constantly changing.There is always room for growth, for new things, to enter as you clear out the old and make space vibrationally for higher vibrating energy to enter your field. The more you clean out the old, the more new energy and stuff – manifestation can occur.

Life is always moving you forward in a positive direction, but you have to feel and release the buried trauma, emotions, defense mechanisms and controlling energies in order to receive the new. So you will go through challenges to trigger you, to help you release, so you can get your new desired items / way of being in life. It is a cleansing process that has to occur.

If you find yourself stuck in the mire of it all, take some deep breaths, comfort your inner child and choose to rest, to honour your needs for sleep, food, nurturance, fun. Honour where you are at and you will help your body to shift out of that energy, that mood and allow your vibration to rise above it. Don’t keep pushing on or dragging your feet until you are totally exhausted or sick. Listen to your body and its needs. Listen, respond and heal, and you will feel so much better.

You can use a wide range of tools and techniques to help shift your vibration, release the old energies, enabling your energy and mood to elevate. Tension and Trauma Release Exercises (TRE) is one process you can use at home for free once you have learned how to do it.

TRE is the body’s natural, built in mechanism for shaking out tension, stress and trauma. Just as your body will subconsciously react in fight, flight or freeze, it also has a subconscious process to help the nervous system to unwind those reactions and to calm back down into a socially engaged state, where you feel safe to play and interact with others.

TRE enables the body to release its contractions, its tightness, its buried tension and emotions bit by bit. Like letting steam out of a pressure cooker so that it doesn’t explode.

TRE supports your body and your health. When you are caught in defensive patterns your body feels like it is fighting to survive, so it focuses its energy on that. Blood flow goes to your arms and legs to enable you to fight or run away. Your digestive system, immune system, reproductive system and much more gets less focus as the body considers these less important than escaping the tiger or threat you’re facing.

The body assumes if you get away from the danger then when you are safe it can return its focus to the health promoting and maintenance activities. Unfortunately many people stay in fight or flight or freeze, in high stress defensive patterns for long periods of time. The body doesn’t get the message that you’re safe now and it should focus its energy back into your health promoting activities. It really is important to do that inner work so your body can function more fully. TRE can help with this.

As you shake out that built up tension, stress and trauma your inner child is willing to talk to you more. They like it as you start to relax and can be more playful. They like to see you are taking care of yourself. Even though your outer world may not have changed that much, it becomes easier to appreciate all you have, to be grateful and enjoy your now more.

You feel better inside and this radiates out enabling your outer world to improve too. This is how you can change your life bit by bit for free at home, by shaking off your tension, stress and trauma. It’s worth doing so you can enjoy life more and stop complaining.

You have what you have to help you heal. As you heal what you have will change. So it doesn’t matter if you have what you want right now, because it will shift. Focus on the journey, on enjoying each moment, on allowing your life to progress and advance. Don’t stay stuck, wallowing in what is. Release it and trust what is to come, for it is good indeed. Blessed BE, Amen.

By Jodi-Anne M Smith (9 November 2017).
Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.

If you find this information useful consider donating to support the sharing of more useful information, even $5 is a great help.

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How to move out of survival and live?

by Dr. Jodi-Anne M Smith, posted in Healing from child abuse, Personal Development, Self help techniques

Many of you who have had deep pain and hurt in your younger lives have learned to survive by doing whatever is necessary to get through your day. You work, you smile, you help, you laugh and you hide away at home when you can because that feels safe. In essence you are still expecting attack and you work hard to avoid it. Your focus is on getting through each day without attack, with minimal dnager, conflict and abuse. You collapse at the end of the day exhausted, satisfied to have survived and to have gotten through relatively unscathed.

In doing this you are simply surviving each day, you are not enjoying your life very much or creating what you really want. You are not living your authentic self, you are using a range of cover ups and defense mechanisms to protect your vulnerable, scared child. That feels more important than having fun, socialising. This is true for many of you.

There are others who are also just surviving, but they focus on pleasure and not much else. They have given up trying to achieve anything or to be successful in their chosen path. They have given up on their dreams believing it isn’t worth the effort to pursue them. They settle for comfort food, alcohol, drugs, sex and a simplistic, hedonistic life, without contributing very much to society.

There are many survival patterns, underneath them all is pain, pain waiting to be felt and released, so you can step up and show your true self to the world, so you can enjoy life and contribute to the welfare of all by shining your light brightly.

You do not need to stay hidden, small to be safe. You don’t need to keep yourself small, stuck to feel like you have no control, no choice, no option. You do have options. Every day, every hour, every minute you are making choices affecting your health and wellbeing. You choose to do nothing or to sulk or pout or be angry or disappointed or to feel hopeless, like there’s no point trying. You choose to repeat the same mundane day over and over – go to work, eat, sleep, wake up, repeat over and over. You choose to numb out and watch TV or to eat or drink or whatever method you use to escape your dissatisfaction with your life. You are choosing to be stuck, to be a survivor or victim of life and your experiences.

You could be choosing to do something new, to try a new hobby, to connect with people and do activities, to have fun and socialise. You can choose to do study to work towards a career change or to volunteer at a nursing home or food shelter or other act of service, which not only helps others but results in you feeling better about yourself and your life. There is so much you could choose to do, but you have to choose it. You have to action it, take the risk for things to change.

Don’t let your life slip away. Take charge and live it. Flow with what life brings you, the ups and the downs, and make the most of it. When you get triggered or you get insight into your defense mechanisms, your pain, work through them to heal them and free yourself up. You don’t have to stay stuck in the old patterns and pain – free yourself and live.

One way to do this is using Tension and Trauma Release Exercises (TRE). It can help you to calm your nervous system and body, so it drops out of fight, flight or freeze. TRE is a simple set of exercises to activate the body’s own tremoring mechanism which uses up the stress chemicals, cortisol and andrenaline, which get created when we are triggered and stored in our body if we don’t actually fight or run away.

TRE can be learned in an individual appointment online or an appointment in person. Then you can use it at home whenever you want to as a part of your self care routine.

When your nervous system calms, your body relaxes and it’s easier to make new choices and changes to behaviour, as your neocortex comes back online, the rational decision making part of the brain. When we’re in fear the amygdala and emotional part of the brain, the hind brain take over and focus on survival only. This is why it can be hard to think or make decisions when you are scared. The rational part of the brain has shut down so you can respond instinctively, quickly to increase your chance of survival.

You don’t have time to contemplate your choices when a lion is chasing you. You need to act fast and run or hide/freeze hoping not to be discovered. If you’re going to be brave and fight you need those extra stress hormones to give you the energy and drive to charge in. Your body will also fill you with opioids so you don’t feel pain as much, just in case you do get hurt or worst case scenario killed. The opioids numb the pain. They also are part of the dissociation process, helping you to feel less connected to your body, so you don’t feel what is happening to it.

TRE can help you to unwind all of these patterns and stored energies in your body, so you can be relaxed and at ease, more able to make choices from a calm state and to enjoy your life.

It is time to have fun, to be free, to shine your light, to do what you missed out on, to experiment and discover what you enjoy in life. It is time to LIVE, choose it and the Universe will help you do it. CONNECT with nature, with yourself, with others. Let yourself be seen, heard, supported and loved. Let the goodness in, it is all around you, waiting for you to open your arms to receive it. It is time, it is overdue, it is banging on the door hoping you will hear it. Step up, speak up, live your life and let go of the old ways. It’s time to live more fully, not just survive. Blessed BE, Amen.

By Jodi-Anne M Smith (23October 2017).
Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.

If you find this information useful consider donating to support the sharing of more useful information, even $5 is a great help.

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Do we need to forgive?

by Dr. Jodi-Anne M Smith, posted in Conscious Evolution, Family Constellations, Healing from child abuse, Parenting, Personal Development, Self help techniques

Many people say that to have peace we need to forgive those who have hurt us, to let go of the pain and any resentment, judgement, hate or anger we may feel towards the other person. It is true if we hold onto these emotions we are keeping our self stuck in the energy of the past events and keeping it alive in our body. By focusing on the “wrong doing” we keep our self reliving it and replaying it in life, as we attract in other similar situations – in a subconscious attempt to heal the wound.

If we have formed beliefs that the world is dangerous or people can’t be trusted or everyone’s out to get me, then we live life with that viewpoint. Our eyes can’t perceive all the data that is there when we look at a scene. Millions of bits of information is sent to our brain which filters it based on our beliefs of what is most vital for us to see for our survival, our well being. So if we are locked in fight or flight or trauma from the past with beliefs that we are in danger all the time, then that is what the data gets searched for and we only see that subset of infomration about the scene we are viewing. We don’t notice the beauty, the love being shown between people or animals and their owners, etc, we just see the potential dangers, threats and situations to avoid in order to best protect our self. It is a self protection mechanism called a ‘negativity bias’. It is an evolutionary tool, a mechanism that makes sense biologically to keep us alive.

The sad part is that if you have those type of negative beliefs or buried trauma inside your body you miss out on seeing and feeling all the goodness in life that is their waiting for you to see it, to let it in, to trust and believe it is possible, that you deserve it and to accept it. You are worthy of good things, of fun, of love, of laughter and joy. You are worthy of wealth, abundance of food, shelter, clothing, health, etc.

The world is abundant, there is goodness out there, all around us, we just have to do the work to heal our programming – our negative beliefs and to shift out the pain and trauma in our bodies so it knows the war is over and can relax and start to enjoy life more.

Tension and Trauma Release Exercises (TRE) helps you to clear out the stagnant fight, flight, freeze energy out of your body so you can relax. It helps to complete the old trauma activations by shaking and using up the cortisol and adrenaline released during moments of stress, tension and trauma. If in those moments you didn’t flee or fight back then those chemicals stay in your body adding to tension, rigidity, pain and numbness. This can be reversed by completing the trauma activations so your body can calm and relax back down knowing it’s over, you’re safe now and all is well.

If you are holding on to a grudge about what has happened to you or onto what you have missed out on because of your experiences – then you are keeping yourself caught in that dynamic of feeling bad, victimised, empty of joy and vitality. You are punishing yourself with your choice of thoughts and actions that will result from that level of thinking.

Forgiveness is not about letting go of wrongdoing, it is about realising that whatever has happened in your life has happened and accepting it and getting on with your life to let more goodness in. You accept what is and turn towards life, to focus on the now and what is to come, instead of being turned away from life focused on the past, entangled with it and missing out on your now. Focus here, now and move forward, you can do it. It is a choice you have to choose to make.

Many people hold on as they think it is punishing their parents or those that hurt them. They don’t want to let them off the hook, but doing this just keeps you caught up in the pain. You need to choose to let it go for your own sake, so you can move on and enjoy life. Your parents may not have been perfect parents, but they did what they could for you with the knowledge and emotional maturity they had. They too may have been suffering and caught up in the pain of their past.

Family Constellations shows us that when people are entangled with ancestors and the traumas or unfinished business within the family system, their energy is literally stuck there in that event or with that ancestor who may have been rejected, died young or suffered some tragedy that wasn’t spoken about or fully grieved. That stuck energy, that trauma occupies their energy, they are bound to it, turned towards it, enmeshed with it and literally unable to look away and focus on their now.

If your parents were entangled in the past in this way, they simply could not focus all their energy on being present with you, giving you the love and nourishment that children desire, hunger for. They literally were not available to live their lives fully and you missed out on their attention, the full connection with them that you wanted. They too missed out on being fully present in their life and on being an attentive, loving parent with their children. They missed out too.

See how the trauma continues down the line. If you judge your parents and turn away from them, reject them, assume you are better than them or know more than them – then you too turn away from being present fully in your life. A lot of your energy is caught up with your past and what you missed out on, on the pain and disappointment or anger over what happened. You say no to them and in essence no to life. You stop letting whatever goodness they can give you in. When you have kids they too will feel the lack of your presence and feel like you are not fully present or available for them. They too will feel they have missed out and they may judge you and turn away as they get older. The pattern repeats unless you heal the trauma, so that all who are entangled can finally let it rest and turn to focus on their own lives, to live them fully, joyously, focused on creating and accepting the goodness of life.

Family Constellations can help to untangle the traumas and past hurts, it can help free everyone involved, so they can focus on the now and enjoy it.

Your parents didn’t deliberately hurt you. If it seemed like they did, this was just their pain seeping out, being projected onto you. They too have wounds from their childhood and from their ancestors which they carry. They too are burdened and lived out all this pain the only way they knew how to do so. The result was what you experienced as their child. They didn’t have the tools to do it differently. Now we can. Now we can set ourselves and them free, to enjoy life more fully.

Do the work to heal and let go of the pain, accept what happened and see your parents for who they truly are, and thank them for your life. Focus on the goodness they gave you and let it in. Even if there was trauma and abuse, they gave you life and that is a great gift. Accept that and honour them for that.

If your parents are still alive and you interact with them, let yourself receive their love in whatever way they can show it to you. They may not be able to express it, but perhaps you can see it in their gestures, their gifts, their contact with you and wanting to spend time with you, their compliments or money or food – whatever it is, let them give to you, let yourself receive the goodness, love and energy from them, so that your cup is filled, so that you are nourished and can live your life from a place of fullness, not emptiness, barrenness, darkness.

If your parents are dead or are not able to give you love then you can visualise receiving the love and goodness from them and from other relatives who you may have had more positive interactions. Recall positive times and relive those memories, anchoring in the fun, the love, the goodness. See those ancestors around you in Spirit, supporting you, encouraging you, cheering you on as you live your life.

Let the goodness in. There is much waiting for you to receive it, but to do so you have to let go of the old emotions and traumas, so your arms are free to receive the new. You can do it! You can do it for yourself, for your children, for your family. All will benefit when you heal and let go of the past burdens that you have carried. The whole family system is affected when a member of it chooses love and does the work to heal. It is a true gift that you can give to yourself and your family, so all can live more peacefully.

Forgiveness is not about right or wrong, about who did what and atoning for it, making up for it. It is simply about accepting what occurred and healing the wound so you are free from the pain. It takes effort to heal and become free. Simply saying “I forgive you” does nothing, very little. It actually has a negative effect because in essence it is a judgement on the person and their action. It says “I know you should have done better, but you didn’t, and I begrudgingly accept that and I will forgive you because I am a better person, a bigger person than you”. See the judgement in this, feel how it stops the flow of love.

It is like putting a boulder in the river, disturbing the flow of life force energy from your ancestors, your parents, to yourself. It is like you are trying to politely cover up something that is disgusting and pretending it is no longer there – like putting a white cloth over the top of some vomit or dog poo. It still stinks, it is still there, but it appears to be gone, buried, hidden. You then tiptoe around it, trying not to look at it or step in it, but it is still there, just waiting to be seen, festering, decaying and having a negative impact on your vitality.

You are not bigger than or better than your parents. They are the BIG ONES and you are the LITTLE ONE. They came first, they gave you life and the life force flows from them to you. If you resist them, you resist life. Let the life force flow to you unhindered. It is not about forgiving them, it is more like accepting them for who they are and letting them stand there with no judgement or condemnation. Just let them be who they are and thank them for what they did give you. Anything they couldn’t give you, you can get from elsewhere. You can make something good out of what they gave you, make something good out of your life and the opportunity presented to you. In this sense forgiveness is about peace, acceptance and harmony, and restoring these to the family system for the wellbeing of all. Blessed BE, Amen.

By Jodi-Anne M Smith (21 October 2017).
Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.

If you find this information useful consider donating to support the sharing of more useful information, even $5 is a great help.

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What to do when you feel broken?

by Dr. Jodi-Anne M Smith, posted in Personal Development, Self help techniques

There are days when you wake up and feel broken, like it is all too hard. Sometimes these will be rare and sometimes common. It just means you are in a process of change. Old muck is surfacing to be released – old pains, fears, doubts, disappointments and hurts. When this occurs it can feel like nothing is changing and life won’t get any better, but it already is better. You are just releasing the old, to see more clearly.

Your lives are okay as they are, it is your judgement of them that creates the pain. There may be things you would like to have change, this will occur in time, but dwelling on it, getting upset, angry or depressed about it, doesn’t resolve it in anyway. Feel and release the emotion, then take steps to create what you want – action is needed for change to manifest. Action on releasing your hurts, altering your thinking and action to change your every day habits and behaviours. If you always do what you have always done, is it surprising that you get the same outcome. Change is inevitable, it will come in small or large ways, chosen or forced on you by life events.

If you are feeling low, broken, sad, angry, hurt, know your body is asking for your attention, for your help to clear out the old and refill your body with lighter energy, a higher vibration outcome for all concerned.

If you are feeling so flat that you can’t be bothered doing anything, accept that and rest. Don’t fight it. If you are feeling lost and confused, wait for clarity, pray for guidance, meditate. There is no point trying to make a decision, it is not the right time. Wait for clarity to dawn, then act.

You can take baby steps towards improving your life, but in reality your life is okay, it is the way you are thinking about it, judging it that is causing you stress and anxiety. So what if you don’t love your job or you are alone or your friends don’t treat you the way you would like. Are you treating yourself kindly? lovingly? Work on your self first, on self love and when you anchor that in, you will see more goodness in the world and attract it in.

If you are exhausted, recovering from illness or a disappointment in life, of course you are going to feel flat. Don’t judge it, fight it, resist it. Accept it and honour your body’s needs. If it need rest, then rest. If it needs nourishment then eat some yummy, feel good, hopefully healthy food. If you need some fun, have it, even if it is just reading a comic or watching TV or chatting to a friend on the phone.

Do what you need to do to let your vibration rise and for you to start to feel better. A bath, a walk on the beach or out in nature will help wonders. Soothing music, candles, aromatherapy – lots can be done to life your mood simply and cheaply.

It is not always going to feel like this. Your body is processing past hurts and issues that you are remembering. If you are doubting your abilities, don’t wallow, find a way to build your skills if that is the issue, or to practice what you are concerned about, so that you feel more confident doing it. There’s always a way forward, you just have to be prepared to take it.

Choose kindness to yourself and others, and know that there is support around you at all times. Seen and not seen, physical and non-physical. There are beings of light watching over you, encouraging you, caring for you, holding your hand from afar. You can call on them, your ancestors and others who have passed over to assist you, support you, to hold you while you are feeling vulnerable. There is lots of support out there. Reach out for it when you need it and give it when you are feeling better. Everyone has their ups and downs, know it is just a phase and choose peace. Don’t fight against what is, just ease your way forward, helping your body in whatever way it needs. So be it. Amen.

By Jodi-Anne M Smith (14 October 2017).
Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.

If you find this information useful consider donating to support the sharing of more useful information, even $5 is a great help.

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How to be free of the past and enjoy life

by Dr. Jodi-Anne M Smith, posted in Parenting, Personal Development, Self help techniques

Most people are running away from painful past events in their life, trying to push them away, out of awareness, and focusing on their now – or at least trying to do so. But anything pushed away stays put, begging to be seen, felt and released. You cannot avoid doing so for long, it will catch up with you one way or another.

Life is not meant to be led on hyperdrive – slow down. Slow down and feel what needs to be felt. Slow down and honour your body – notice the stress and its impacts on you. Choose to honour yourself and your needs.

Life can be beautiful, magical, peaceful, but most people are pushing themselves too hard, focused on careers, money, getting things, material objects that can be ripped away in an instant.

Natural disasters occur to cleanse the planet of built up negative energy. The Earth too is stressed due to the way we live and how we treat her. We deplete her mineral reserves and exhaust her supplies, same as we do with our own bodies. Of course, they then can’t function fully, healthily, there are consequences to these actions, and we are seeing them all over the world wtih climate change disasters. This cannot be stopped. The damage is done, but we can reduce it now, so it doesn’t keep accumulating, keep getting worse.

Be the love you want to see in the world.

How can you help? By living more simply, by focusing on your own health, by wanting and doing less. Yes it all helps, but you do not have to sacrifice or go without. It is not about scarcity. It is about abundance.

An abundance of opportunities to live more simply, to be connected with your heart and following its desires – these will be different to those of the mind. The heart often wants rest, play, fun, it likes to be creative, to be artistic, to rest in nature, to be nourished from slow, peaceful activities. It likes to have presence and connection, to slow down and actually be with someone – to penetrate the surface and know someone’s deepest, inner most self, to connect heart to heart and share how you are really feeling and what you are longing for – to have true intimacy – in to me u c.

Life is not meant to be a race course navigated at high speed. It is more like a walk in the park. Take time to enjoy your life, to live it and foster true connection with those you love most. Share how you are feeling, what you are working on, what you are cleaning out of your body through acknowledging it, feeling it and letting it go.

When you take the time to be present to your feelings the pain can shift, you can be set free from what has been kept inside – liberated, so that it no longer burdens you or weighs you down. It is worth doing, so your future can be more of what you desire and less repetition of the past – repeating until you do feel it and release it.

Honour yourself and take time to heal. Honour your planet and live more simply. Honour your children and feel close to them, tell them they are loved, they are enough and they are deserving of a happy life.

Role model self care, honesty and being happy – making the most of any situation. Show them how to be resilient and cope with life’s hiccups, the challenges that come along the way.

When you help them gain this emotional intelligence you are setting them up for an easier navigation through life. You are helping them to be a good athlete, able to jump the hurdles, run the race and succeed over the high jump – the bar can be raised and they won’t be scared, because they will know how to navigate through the pitfalls and darkness that can come at times.

Enjoy life now. Don’t wait for some better time in the future – it won’t come, that idyllic day when ‘poof’ it is all magically okay. You have to make it happen, by actively cleansing out any emotional density or trauma locked within your body.

You can use Tension and Trauma Release Exercises (TRE) to help you to release the stress, tension and trauma that is in your body. TRE shakes these energies out of your body, helping your nervous system to calm. Most of the time it is gentle, relaxing and you don’t even know what it is that is being released. You don’t see or feel the story associated wtih it. The energy just leaves, shakes out.

The shaking uses up the cortisol and adrenaline released in moments of fight or flight in the past, where you were scared and your body reacted to protect you. If you did fight or run away you use up those chemicals but if you didn’t or couldn’t then they stay in the body leading to chronic tension patternsw which leads to sore muscles, stiffness, pain, less flexibility and mobility.

Using TRE helps your body to come out of freeze, out of fight or flight, so it can move again, so we regain our flexibility and ability to feel joy. TRE unlocks the prison that we have been locked in within when we’ve experienced trauma in the past.

By clearing out these energies and blocks you become free to see the beauty all around you, to be peaceful and content inside. This makes it easier to handle whatever life throws at you. It is worth the time and effort to heal, so that you can enjoy the rest of your life more.

It is not up to you, life will keep bringing you events, to show you the pain inside – it is attempting to get you to face it. Once you have done that you won’t attract those types of experiences any more – you don’t need to, it is gone, done, healed, you don’t match it any more vibrationally.

Life is not meant to be a race, slow down, enjoy it more. Prioritise time with those you love, those who make your heart sing, those who you feel most comfortable with and can connect deeply with, truly seeing and honouring each other. Build these deep connections and you will have strong roots, a strong foundation to help you weather whatever storms do come your way. Connect, connect, connect to your heart – that is the key to living life joyously and peacefully. So be it. Amen.

By Jodi-Anne M Smith (14 August 2017).
Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and HEALING FROM CHILD ABUSE pages of this website.

If you find this information useful consider donating to support the sharing of more useful information, even $5 is a great help.

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Stop carrying responsibility for Mum and Dad’s issues – healing family trauma

by Dr. Jodi-Anne M Smith, posted in Conscious Evolution, Family Constellations, Personal Development, Self help techniques

Are the emotions you struggle with yours? Science has now shown how unfinished trauma is passed on genetically to future generations. We carry the wounds of our ancestors in an attempt to heal it. This process and ways to help release what you carry is explained in the attached article.

For example: Did your mom or dad reject their sadness and grief? Are you, or your kids, depressed or always grieving?

Did they hide or bury their anger? Are you or your children unusually angry, or did you choose an angry partner? Or perhaps you can’t access your anger at all, while feeling depressed and broken?

Did they disown their need for love and intimacy? Do you hunger for love and yet cannot find it?

Family systems seek wholeness by re-creating what was disowned by previous generations. These later generations (ours and our children’s) try to bring this wholeness by acting out rejected family aspects.

Family Constellation work shows us when these patterns run our lives and how to disentangle from them.

How to accept life?

by Dr. Jodi-Anne M Smith, posted in Conscious Evolution, Personal Development, Self help techniques

Many of you would prefer to be dead, home with Spirit, basking in unconditional love, than on your planet living your lives. Many of you remember what it feels like on the other side and you long for it. You find Earth too harsh, too painful, and too much to adjust to.

You see the beauty and feel the Earth’s magnificence, but everywhere you look you see destruction, pain, people making poor choices, hurting each other, self and Earth. You focus on the pain and destruction and you turn away from life. You’d rather not be here. You’d rather leave and return home.

We tell you it is not time to come home. You are on Earth for a purpose. You are on Earth to transmute the darkness into light. You come as the light bearers, the illuminators, to shine your light so brightly that the dark recedes and love spreads fluidly through the veins of all who live on Earth.

That is your role, your purpose. You see the dark so that you can help transform it. You see the dark so that you can love and accept it and move through it. You need to embrace it and what it brings up inside you. You need to look within and transmute the pain inside you and keep doing so till all that is left is love and light.

Your darkness is not negative, it is just a sampling of what is occurring at a mass level in society. Your darkness is not a flaw, a problem, it is simply unfelt pain. You sense the pain and turn away from it, as it feels too much to embrace, but you can embrace it and when you do it will dissolve. Then you can be a true advocate of peace, because you can look at the darkness fully and not flinch, you can look and smile and send love, because that is what you feel and who you are.

So don’t turn away from the pain, embrace it, know you have gone through what you have gone through for a reason. You are here to help 1000’s like you who have gone through similar experiences. Open your eyes and see all there is to see. Don’t close them and hide because it seems like too much to bear. Know you are strong enough, you are capable and your voice does matter. It really does. Every act of kindness you do helps to shift the energy on the planet, the focuse between dark and light.

Again we say the dark is not bad, it is just unresolved pain, emotional trauma, that gets acted out by those in pain, perpetuating more and more pain and destruction. It can be healed, it can be resolved, but to do so you have to be prepared to face it, to love it, to move past it, beyond the pain to see the goodness of life and all those who live it.

Yes, it is hard to look at the ugliness of humanity and feel good. Use whatever tools and techniques you have to help you shift through the pain, the turmoil, back to peace.

Tension and Trauma Release Exercises (TRE) can help you to release the tension and buried emotions so you can balance back up. It can help your nervous system to calm so you don’t go into overwhelm and shut down. It can help you to breathe through the tendency for fight and flight, to not over react or burn yourself out fighting against what you don’t like. Use TRE to help you come back to love, to peace, to calm and see more goodness in life. See where you can add to that goodness with your prayers, your actions and your support. Focus on the goodness so that is what expands. When you do this you serve the world.

You really are brave souls coming to Earth. It isn’t easy being in duality, feeling all there is to feel. We honour you and all who make this choice. You are all being of great service in the larger scheme of life. Each one of you helps to shift the vibration of the planet, assisting with the evolution of all who walk the Earth plane. There is much going on in the cosmos that you are not aware of. Much happening in the higher levels. This is just one dimension of many where life moves forward, where evolution is occurring. Do not concern yourself with these things. Focus on where you are and on living your life more fully.

Don’t hide away and close your eyes in despair. Look at life fully. Look at what you do want to advocate for and be a champion of goodness, of light, of love, making a difference while you are there on Earth. Everything you do helps. Face the truth of life and live it. Don’t keep hiding. Live life fully, speak up, be loving, do loving acts of kindness and know it is all helping, tipping the balance of dark and light on the Earth plane. You are here for that reason to embody the light and embrace your life, spreading light wherever you go. Let it be so, Amen.

By Jodi-Anne M Smith (8 August 2017).
Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.

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Why are we so impatient with our lives?

by Dr. Jodi-Anne M Smith, posted in Self help techniques

Many people are frustrated with their lives and the way it is unfolding. They believe it should be different – better, less painful, more enjoyable. They judge their life and what occurs in it.

The reality is life is occurring exactly as you need for your evolution and growth. The painful and disappointing elements occur to get you to release your buried emotions, to feel what is inside you, to drop from your head to your heart, to slow down and reconsider your choices in life.

Many of us operate on autopilot for the majority of the day and week. We do what we always do and then get what we always get. We don’t vary our routine very much. We don’t reach out and try something new, stretch beyond our comfort zone. We like it to be easy, known, safe.

Safe doesn’t result in growth if we are staying still. It does in the sense of us finally feeling safe enough to go within, listen to our heart and then take action based on our heart’s desires and longings. But we must take action, risk our comfort to speak up, act out, to do whatever it is we are here to do. Our heart guides us forth.

If we do not take action, if we continue to hide, life events will occur to force us out of our coccoon and to fly. The butterfly cannot hide away forever. It has to stretch out its wings and fly.

Life is just a series of events designed to help you fly – to heal, transform into your highest self and fly – be of service in some way that benefits you and humanity.

The greatness that is latent within you, is ready to burst forth when the timing is right. It is this potential that you sense, it is this that leads to the impatience – because you can sense your life has a significant purpose that you will fulfil. However, it will all happen in divine timing and you can’t escape the cleansing process that has to occur first.

You can’t hide from it, avoid it, pretend it isn’t needed. Life will force you to release those buried emotions – to feel the anger, sadness, betrayal, etc and release it. It is part of the process. You don’t get the glory without the fight – the allowance of the cleansing, the purging of the old, to make way for the light to fill the void.

The light is all around you, waiting patiently for you to clear out the denser energies and emotions inside you. Once you do the light floods in, your vibration rises and life proceeds in new ways, with new opportunities born of the new vibration.

You are a magnet attracting to you what you need to heal and grow. While you are filled with denser energies, you will attract dense and challenging situations to help you shift the energy, to feel and release it. The more you do so, the lighter you get energetically, internally and then you attract events, people that match that vibration.

Challenges still come to help you expand further, but they are not so devastating as you know how to feel the emotion, balance back up and move on. There is no longer a core vessel of darkness that matches the energy and keeps you stuck in it. It can just shift through and you move back into balance, joy and peace much quicker.

You sense what is possible, hence the impatience, but there are no shortcuts. You have to feel and release your emotional density. You have to go within and engage with your heart, the younger parts of you that are in pain, that feel burdened, that are operating your defense mechanisms and self protection processes. You need to meet with and engage with these, so they can evolve too. These parts of you need to see, to be shown that you are older and wiser now, that you will take care of yourself and choose loving responses to painful events, that you have the maturity to choose peace and love and do the right thing, to stand up for yourself when needed and to say no and have appropriate boundaries in place. Once these parts of you can see that you are now looking after you more effectively, they will relax, they will stop self sabotaging to protect you, to keep you small, safe and hidden.

While they are still in pain and doubt your abilities, they will step in to protect you – it may be ineffective and in some ways detrimental, but they are focused on your survival, not your joy or your current goals. They are focused on basic, core needs. And they will stay focused on that until they can see you have healed, and you help them to do so too.

All the annoying habits you have, reactions to life events, are just residual pain from the past that is rattling away inside of you. Heal it and those patterns will drop away. Change is possible and inevitable, life is guiding you forward. Your choices just effect how painful or blissful the process is.

Resistance keeps you in repeat mode – blaming, wishing it was different, numbing out with addictions and distractions – just keeps you on a repetitive loop. It is just a matter of time till the pain is too much and you choose to face it, work through it and heal yourself. It will happen, it is just a matter of when. And once it is done, you can have the joy and peace you have been longing for.

You can have the creative, vibrant life you desire. It is destined to be so, and it will occur. It is just a process we all go through, in order to allow life’s unfolding of our magnificence. The cleansing frees us to live our destined service, our greatness. The cleansing is necessary. See that and embrace it, not resent it. See that and relax into it, instead of fighting it, resenting it. See its purpose and be grateful, as the old releases, making way for the new.

Tension and Trauma Releasing Exercises (TRE) can help you to shake out the emotional density and stagnant energy stored in your body. It helps to shift it out gently bit by bit so that your nervous system calms and you feel safer and calmer within. It helps you to move through anxiety and rage bit by bit, lessening the charge stored in your body. As your nervous system calms you feel safer in your body and it is easier to feel and release the emotions. This leads to a softening of your defence mechanisms as they’re no longer needed when you don’t feel so threatened or in danger. TRE helps you to release the stress and tension so you can relax and enjoy life more trusting in divine timing for your evolution and growth.

By Jodi-Anne M Smith (28 July 2017).
Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and HEALING FROM CHILD ABUSE pages of this website.

If you find this information useful consider donating to support the sharing of more useful information, even $5 is a great help.

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How to shine your light brightly?

by Dr. Jodi-Anne M Smith, posted in Conscious Evolution, Personal Development, Self help techniques

Most of you think you have to do something special to shine your light, to make a difference to the world. You think you need to wait until your gifts have awoken, you have finished that course, read that book, achieved some goal. Those are all mind-activities, judgements on self that in essence say “I’m not good enough as I am, I am not special, unique, capable or interesting enough, I have to be more“.

We tell you there is no more needed, you are enough. You are all enough exactly as you are. When you can rest in your heart you will know this fully. When you are in your mind you doubt it. Drop into your heart. Take a deep breath and sit there. Sit there with the whisperings of your heart. What do you feel? What messages do you get? Breathe through any emotional pain and let your heart open wider. You may experience some physical pain in your body when you do this.

Most of us have put layer upon layer of armour around our hearts to protect our vulnerability, to stop us feeling the pain, the hurts from life. To awaken our vitality, our joy, our essence we need to let the armour go, let our hearts shine brightly to be seen, heard, felt. When you do this you radiate love, joy and peace. You uplift those around you just by your vibration.

You don’t have to do anything special, have any particular gift or ability, just a loving, open heart radiating peace out into the world. When you heal your hurts and align with your heart you are a powerful gift to the planet and all whom you interact with.

Each of you is this right now. You are just in the process of taking off your armour, the layers of density around your heart, to shine your light so brightly that it awakens others to feel their hurts, clear their hearts and sit in peace and essence.

You do not have to do anything in particular to reach this place. Life does it to you. Life brings you the situations, people and experiences you need to crack open your defenses and to melt back into oneness with your heart and all life. Life does it to you. You don’t need to do it. You don’t need to search, build yourself up. The process is the opposite. It is a stripping away of all that is false, all that is projected, to come back to your core, to see you are perfect as you are.

We each have our own specialness, our uniqueness, our own vibratory essence that serves the world just by existing. Follow your heart, let it guide you forth, to live a life that is meaningful to you, that sets your heart on fire, your mouth alive with anticipation, that has you dancing on the inside. You can and you will. Life is guiding you there.

Trust that what occurs to you is occurring for a purpose, there are no mistakes, no punishments, no luck – just life helping you shed that which no longer serves you, so you can show your true self, your essence to the world. It is enough to just be you. It is enough to be alive, breathing, coping with all that comes your way. It is enough to choose to live with love and kindness as your beacon guiding you through.

Most of us find it easier to be loving and kind to others, more so than we are to ourselves. You are learning to love and accept yourself. You are learning to honour who you are and to see it is enough. Just by being born – you are enough – you have a right to exist and be happy. Life will guide you to that place. So don’t fight against life and its events, know they are guiding you home, into your heart, so you can shine your light brightly, effortlessly being who you truly are. Blessed BE. Amen.

There’s no rush. This is life’s process. It is not up to you. Your core, your soul essence is in control, not you. Accept this and live peacefully. Fight against it and you will have unrest all your days. You cannot make yourself other than who you really are. You cannot make yourself better. You are perfect as you are.

Yes, you can learn and grow and that is the whole point of life, to evolve in love and happiness for all. But you are not changed at the level of the Soul. You just are that already. You are awakening to the realisation that you are already whole and complete, the work is already done, so you can relax and BE. There truly is nothing you have to achieve. Let your heart guide you forth and you will always feel at home, connected to love, life and all that you need. So be it. Amen.

By Jodi-Anne M Smith (3 July 2017).
Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.

If you find this information useful consider donating to support the sharing of more useful information, even $5 is a great help.

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Depression: why it is so common and effective lifestyle changes that reduce it

by Dr. Jodi-Anne M Smith, posted in Health, Personal Development, Self help techniques

In this 22 minute TED talk Stephen Ildari explains that depression largely results from us living busy, stressful lives that our bodies are not designed for. Our DNA and bodies are basically still geared for a hunter gatherer lifestyle, where there may be moments of stress such as when you are facing a bear or tiger, but then once you have run away or fought the predator, the stress reduces and your body gets to relax.

For most of us today our lives are constantly stressful and busy, resulting in a prolonged stress response and being in fight or flight much of the time. This is detrimental to the body and over time results in depression. Our bodies simply have not adapted to this massive change of lifestyle yet, and the result is the epidemic in depression. One in nine Americans over the age of 12 is taking an anti-depressant.

Stephe Ildari advocates for a change in lifestyle to reduce stress, improve your body’s neurochemistry and decrease depression. He outlines a 6 step Therapeutic Lifestyle Change (TLC) program to beat depression without medication.

His research has demonstrated that the TLC program is an effective treatment for depression, with over 70% of patients experiencing a favorable response, as measured by symptom reduction of at least 50%. That is a lot of relief!!!!! The 6 steps are:

  1. Exercise – he claims exercise is more effective than any pill. Just brisk walking for 30 minutes, 3 times a week can help a lot.
  2. Omega 3 Fatty Acids – our bodies can’t make Omega 3 and 6, we need to get them from our diet. He recommends a supplement that gives you a 1000 mg of EPA and 500 mg of DHA per day.
  3. Sunlight – he recommends that people get at least 30 minutes of bright light exposure per day.
  4. Healthy Sleep – at least 8 hours sleep a night is needed
  5. Anti-ruminative activity – stop yourself ruminating on negative thoughts and feelings. Focus instead on doing something pleasant, calling a friend, exercise or journalling.
  6. Social connection – resist the urge to isolate, reach out and connect to people, socialise and you will feel better.

Doing the above will help your body to relax and return to a greater state of peace and happiness. To learn more about Stephen Ildari’s program visit his Therapeutic Lifestyle Change website.

If you find this information useful consider donating to support Jodi-Anne to share more insights on obtaining peace and happiness.

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