Why are we so impatient with our lives?

Many people are frustrated with their lives and the way it is unfolding. They believe it should be different – better, less painful, more enjoyable. They judge their life and what occurs in it.

The reality is life is occurring exactly as you need for your evolution and growth. The painful and disappointing elements occur to get you to release your buried emotions, to feel what is inside you, to drop from your head to your heart, to slow down and reconsider your choices in life.

Many of us operate on autopilot for the majority of the day and week. We do what we always do and then get what we always get. We don’t vary our routine very much. We don’t reach out and try something new, stretch beyond our comfort zone. We like it to be easy, known, safe.

Safe doesn’t result in growth if we are staying still. It does in the sense of us finally feeling safe enough to go within, listen to our heart and then take action based on our heart’s desires and longings. But we must take action, risk our comfort to speak up, act out, to do whatever it is we are here to do. Our heart guides us forth.

If we do not take action, if we continue to hide, life events will occur to force us out of our coccoon and to fly. The butterfly cannot hide away forever. It has to stretch out its wings and fly.

Life is just a series of events designed to help you fly – to heal, transform into your highest self and fly – be of service in some way that benefits you and humanity.

The greatness that is latent within you, is ready to burst forth when the timing is right. It is this potential that you sense, it is this that leads to the impatience – because you can sense your life has a significant purpose that you will fulfil. However, it will all happen in divine timing and you can’t escape the cleansing process that has to occur first.

You can’t hide from it, avoid it, pretend it isn’t needed. Life will force you to release those buried emotions – to feel the anger, sadness, betrayal, etc and release it. It is part of the process. You don’t get the glory without the fight – the allowance of the cleansing, the purging of the old, to make way for the light to fill the void.

The light is all around you, waiting patiently for you to clear out the denser energies and emotions inside you. Once you do the light floods in, your vibration rises and life proceeds in new ways, with new opportunities born of the new vibration.

You are a magnet attracting to you what you need to heal and grow. While you are filled with denser energies, you will attract dense and challenging situations to help you shift the energy, to feel and release it. The more you do so, the lighter you get energetically, internally and then you attract events, people that match that vibration.

Challenges still come to help you expand further, but they are not so devastating as you know how to feel the emotion, balance back up and move on. There is no longer a core vessel of darkness that matches the energy and keeps you stuck in it. It can just shift through and you move back into balance, joy and peace much quicker.

You sense what is possible, hence the impatience, but there are no shortcuts. You have to feel and release your emotional density. You have to go within and engage with your heart, the younger parts of you that are in pain, that feel burdened, that are operating your defense mechanisms and self protection processes. You need to meet with and engage with these, so they can evolve too. These parts of you need to see, to be shown that you are older and wiser now, that you will take care of yourself and choose loving responses to painful events, that you have the maturity to choose peace and love and do the right thing, to stand up for yourself when needed and to say no and have appropriate boundaries in place. Once these parts of you can see that you are now looking after you more effectively, they will relax, they will stop self sabotaging to protect you, to keep you small, safe and hidden.

While they are still in pain and doubt your abilities, they will step in to protect you – it may be ineffective and in some ways detrimental, but they are focused on your survival, not your joy or your current goals. They are focused on basic, core needs. And they will stay focused on that until they can see you have healed, and you help them to do so too.

All the annoying habits you have, reactions to life events, are just residual pain from the past that is rattling away inside of you. Heal it and those patterns will drop away. Change is possible and inevitable, life is guiding you forward. Your choices just effect how painful or blissful the process is.

Resistance keeps you in repeat mode – blaming, wishing it was different, numbing out with addictions and distractions – just keeps you on a repetitive loop. It is just a matter of time till the pain is too much and you choose to face it, work through it and heal yourself. It will happen, it is just a matter of when. And once it is done, you can have the joy and peace you have been longing for.

You can have the creative, vibrant life you desire. It is destined to be so, and it will occur. It is just a process we all go through, in order to allow life’s unfolding of our magnificence. The cleansing frees us to live our destined service, our greatness. The cleansing is necessary. See that and embrace it, not resent it. See that and relax into it, instead of fighting it, resenting it. See its purpose and be grateful, as the old releases, making way for the new.

Tension and Trauma Releasing Exercises (TRE) can help you to shake out the emotional density and stagnant energy stored in your body. It helps to shift it out gently bit by bit so that your nervous system calms and you feel safer and calmer within. It helps you to move through anxiety and rage bit by bit, lessening the charge stored in your body. As your nervous system calms you feel safer in your body and it is easier to feel and release the emotions. This leads to a softening of your defence mechanisms as they’re no longer needed when you don’t feel so threatened or in danger. TRE helps you to release the stress and tension so you can relax and enjoy life more trusting in divine timing for your evolution and growth.

By Jodi-Anne M Smith (28 July 2017).
Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and HEALING FROM CHILD ABUSE pages of this website.

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Why do we stay small?

There are many reasons for choosing to stay small – less risk, more comfort, safety from abuse or attack or ridicule, less effort required, less challenge faced. There are many reasons, but life won’t let you stay small for long. Outside events and inner forces will combine to propel you forward, to jettison you into the next greater version of yourself.

Life is about growth and expansion, it is about stepping beyond your comfort zone and doing what you love. To stay small is to shrivel and decay, to rot, to not grow and that is impossible.

Some stay small because that may have been a time when they received love, when life was simpler, less confusing. For others it was a time when they felt good things happened, when they trusted life and felt taken care of. There are many reasons people would prefer to stay child like or to bask in younger years, as opposed to truly being present and facing their now.

For many people the now is scary, too intimate, too confronting. To be fully present requires facing your feelings, acknowledging how you feel and if you are happy with your life. Much easier to be distracted, too busy, then you don’t have to think about it, feel too deeply into it.

Yes, let’s be busy, busy, busy – then we don’t notice our vitality and joy dropping, we don’t notice the stress building and ill health creeping in. Keep busy, busy, busy, with lots of noise and competing demands, that way you don’t have to face the truth of your life, your inner depths or your heart’s requests. So many people live like this.

Of course it is not ideal, but it is understandable, especially if you don’t feel you have any power to change things for the better. The truth is you always have the power to do so, just most don’t realise it or fear taking that first step into self leadership, self mastery, creating your life how you want it to be.

Resistance to being present in the now occurs when your body feels uptight, anxious and restless. There’s this baseline energy that you can feel when you slow down. For most people that energy isn’t calm and peaceful. It can be a slight unease, a feeling of being unsafe, anxious, uncertain of what to do or what’s needed to feel better. This is your nervous system in low level activation of fight or flight. If the activation is stronger then it can literally feel wrong, dangerous to be still. Your legs may bounce when you’re sitting down. Internally you’re agitated, wanting to move, to run away.

These activations occur at the subconscious level. We’re not even aware of them and we’re certainly not consciously choosing them. They result from the built up tension, stress and trauma in your body that sends signals to your brain telling it you are in danger, even if you’re actually safe right now.

The body isn’t at ease, hence many of us distract ourselves from being still, present in the now, which would lead us to feel that unease. Rather than distracting yourself from it by escaping or keeping busy, there is another choice. You can use embodiment practices like Tension and Trauma Release Exercises (TRE) to shake out the tension, stress and trauma, then your body will calm down and it will be easier to be present, to enjoy your now as your body will know it is safe to do so.

When we just keep busy we don’t heal the underlying issues. With TRE you can slowly shake out the unease bit by bit, gently and easily in your own time and space. Once learned you can use TRE whenever you like as part of your self-care routine. It is well worth learning so you can relax more, worry less and enjoy your now.

You are allowed to say no. You are allowed to decline that invitation and take time to rest. You are allowed to work less and live more simply. You are allowed to do what you want, not what is expected. You are allowed to honour yourself and do what you want. It is not selfish, not wrong. As long as you aren’t harming another, it is okay to choose self, to honour self. Our society would be a lot healthier if people did.

Because when you honour yourself and drop into your heart, what your heart wants is peace, harmony, stillness, connection, and love. The heart beats fast for love, for pleasure, for joy. It doesn’t have a selfish bone in its body, it is all about love and kindness for all. And when more people are resting in this state, there will be a lot less violence in the world. There will be a lot more sharing, compassion and understanding, a lot more assisting each other, accepting we are all the same race, the same species. We all suffer and go through loss and pain. We all grow and heal and need support. We all want to be loved and accepted for who we are. We all want to be seen and accepted, heard and valued, cared for and loved. That is our deepest need.

Many hide because they fear it won’t happen – they won’t be loved or accepted, they will be ridiculed or hurt in a myriad of ways. But to hide keeps you stuck, small and hurting. To come out into the light of day enables change, enables freedom, enables peace.

If you take the risk you will be guided forth to love and happiness. There will be obstacles to overcome along the way, but you will get there. You will find your tribe and your home, deep within your heart, connected to the mysteries of life and all that occurs here on Earth.

May we all stand up and shout “Here I am“. May we all be seen and valued. May those around us yell back “We see you and you are magnificent. Welcome home!” May we all find peace as quick as possible. Blessed BE. Amen.

By Jodi-Anne M Smith (24 January 2017).
Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and HEALING FROM CHILD ABUSE pages of this website.

How to let go of disappointment and expect the best?

When a person has suffered many disappointments in life, they learn to switch off from life, from expecting good things or even believing it is possible for their life to work out okay. This is a self defense mechanism aimed to limit the pain received and protect from further disappointments.

But switching off from life, hope, faith is a disasterous thing to do, it is a giving up of life force energy, of joy, of hope, of happiness. It will inevitably lead to judgement, ridicule, low self-esteem, depression and feelings of unworthiness.

If the major traumas occurred when a young child, 0-7 years old, it is highly likely that a pattern of learned helplessness was embedded in the child’s unconscious and as an adult plays out constantly in all aspects of life, leaving the person feeling a victim, feeling unable to change anything and accepting life is always going to be this way.

With such pessimism life becomes drudgery, one boring or scary or threatening and dangerous day after another. It is easy to see why people may self medicate through addictions to avoid the emotional pain and sense of helplessness and hopelessness.

It is a cruel way to exist, it is a numbing out of life, a walking dead scenario, feeling as if there is no point in staying alive or trying to change anything, because it feels like it never works or changes, it never gets better.

This is a very painful place to be in internally, to feel this hurt and broken that you don’t know how to go on, how to survive, how to live. You give up trying and just survive one day at a time. Life is monotonous, bland, boring and suffocating. Sadly this is a common state of being for many people. Gladly, you don’t have to stay stuck in it.

You only feel so helpless because it is younger parts of you that got hurt and disappointed, whose pain is so high, that it is over ruling everything else. If you heal these wounds and help free your inner child or younger selves then that pain will not be your primary emotion or experience of life.

You the adult has every opportunity to make different choices, to have fun, to be positive and enjoy life. It is just hard to do when your vitality, your life force is stuck in the past, playing out a repetitive loop of negativity.

So how do you free yourself of the wounds? There are many ways that help. At this stage it is just important to know you can break free, that you can heal and that life can become better. To let a glimmer of hope exist.

Just because people in your past hurt you or disappointed you, doesn’t mean it has to reoccur over and over. If you heal the wounds you can flourish. You will no longer attract in that treatment as you will no longer be a vibrational match to it. Once you have released the pain, your body can relax, come out of fight or flight and shut down zombie mode. Life force energy can flow freely through your veins again, revitalising you to live life fully, embracing possibility and taking action to live your dreams, your greatest potential while here on Earth.

To achieve this the wounds must be healed, the emotional pain must be released / transmuted and your heart opened back up to allow love in, to trust and take action, to risk changing / trying something new and letting people close.

When people are closed down out of disappointment, it is like they have bolted the door, put up a security fence, have guard dogs snarling, attempting to keep out anything good from occurring, so that they will not be disappointed or hurt further.

People with good intentions attempt to come close and they are faced with snarling dogs, electric fences and machine guns aimed at them, as if they are the enemy, when all they want to do is love you. It takes a strong and determined person to persevere in this situation and say “Let me in, it is okay, you can trust me”.

Many just walk away, they see the wounding in the other, the closed door, so they turn away. Hence the hurt person ends up alone, isolated, desperate for attention, for love, but not allowing it. No wonder they feel so hopeless.

There is a war going on inside, keeping the goodness away. When someone does come close they can over react with anger, feeling like “How dare they expect me to let them in, how dare they expect me to take a risk”. You push the person away so hard.

Depending on how deep the wound will depend on how automatic this rejection process is. It can be so strong that rage is triggered and a feeling that you could set the person on fire because they have threatened you and your safety by daring to enter into your closed kingdom, and it literally feels like a threat to your existence. So sad when really the other is saying “Hello, do you want a friend? Do you want to play?”.

toddler-sulkingIt is like two young children meeting in a playground and the first person has planted their feet, crossed their arms, stomped on the spot and said “NO”, shouted “NO, you will not play with me, go away, leave me alone”. They are totally closed off in their tantrum about how they feel and what has occurred to them in life. Then they sulk, pout, kick and scream about how unfair it all is. Most of us can see this behaviour in toddlers, young children quite easily, but we fail to see that as wounded adults we are doing the same thing.

Life can’t change dramatically for the better unless you uncross your arms, suck in your bottom lip, and you open up to connection, to playing, to having fun. While you are shouting NO nothing much can change. So you have to be willing to lower the defenses, to open up to another way of being and to feeling and releasing the emotional pain underneath the wounds, then it dissolves, then you walk free of it and you can see the blue sky and sunshine and let it in, you can see the beauty in life and let yourself be replenished by it and experience good things and have your life work out more enjoyably.

It is clear that it is up to you to take action to heal the wounds. Noone else can do it for you. Even those brave souls who wear suits of armour and non-flammable overalls who come close wanting to help you move forward. Their efforts can only help if you let them in. If you keep shouting NO energetically or actually saying it through your words and actions, then their efforts can’t help.

It is up to you to take the risk to let life be different. You can do it and it is worth it, so worth it, to walk free from misery and enjoy life, to be pleasantly surprised by the mystery of life and finally see the goodness in all things. You can achieve this, simply by healing the past so it doesn’t cloud your future. It can be done and I and many others can help you do it, if you let us, if you open up and say “YES to life, YES I am willing to move forward and to risk being happy. YES I can do this, I will do this, I choose this”.

Then life will lead you forth to the right people, places, books, courses and whatever else you need that best suits you to help you heal and break free from the pain. It will be different for each person based on their current state of awareness, willingness, and ability to feel and release their pain. Some will need to do self-study at first, before they would be willing to risk seeing a therapist and trusting someone to help them move forward. Some may prefer talk therapy as they don’t yet feel safe enough to go into their bodies and feel what is there. Some may prefer to start with body work modalities to help the body relax and let go, preferring this as they are too scared to voice their concerns or speak the truth that they have tried to hide from their whole lives.

Inside your body are all the trapped emotions and memories from the traumas you’ve experienced. It results in muscular tension and holding patterns that are so common in our society. It results in tight, sore shoulders, necks and backs. It is literally like the body has clenched, locked down, armoured up in order to protect itself.
A large part of healing is releasing this tension, melting the armour and the hypervigilance that comes from being in fight, flight, freeze so much.

This has to be done slowly, gently. You can’t take the top off the volcano and have all the pressure escape at once. It’s too volatile, too dangerous, too overwhelming. You need to let out the pressure and steam slowly, gently, so you don’t explode emotionally, but also so your body can integrate the shifts and changes.

There are many ways to reduce the internal stress and pressure, soy ou can cope more easily with whatever life brings you. When you’re already stressed up to your eyeballs internally it makes it so hard to cope. It’s like you’re exhausted with nothing else to give or any capacity to take on more – whether that be a challenge at work, a family member wanting your support or asking you to do something.

When you’re already at your limit, when your plate is full, any additional stressors can result in strong, undesirable reactions. You might react in anger or rage, or just be irritable and cold pushing people away or ignoring their needs. Not because you don’t care. You do care. You just don’t have any more capacity to cope with another stressor.

Thankfully you can use a range of methods to diffuse your internal bomb. Most people turn to addictions to try and numb it, escape it, avoid it, distract from it. They get busy or drink or shop or play video games or any other distraction that stops them from feeling what is occurring inside.

Clearly, this is not a healthy or long term solution. Your nervous system still has all the charge in it, all the pent up energy and emotion, so addictions just form a temporary fix that is bound to fail as the internal pressure continues to grow and the person eventually implodes or explodes.

A much healthier way to reduce the pressure, to let out the steam is spending time in nature, going for walks or swims at the beach. Anything that helps you to slow down, to have greater relaxation and ease in your body.

I have found Tension and Trauma Release Exercises (TRE) particularly useful, as it lets out that tension from the body bit by bit, calming your nervous system and giving you more capacity to cope with day to day life. As you release the pressure, it is like you’re taking some of the burdens and pressures from your plate, so there’s room, capacity, to handle life events with a bit more grace and ease. You don’t get shoved into overwhelm as quickly.

TRE is a set of simple exercises designed to help the body access its innate stress, tension and trauma release mechanism. This is an inbuilt tremoring process that uses up the stagnant energy, melts the armour and helps you shift out of fight, flight, freeze into relaxation and ease within. When this occurs it is easier to interact with others as you feel safer in your body, less threatened and defensive. It’s a powerful process for calming the body back down to it’s natural peaceful, playful state.

Excitingly TRE can be learned quickly and once learned you can use it for free for the rest of your life. You can do the exercises and tremoring releases in your own home, whenever you want.
If you want to go deeper, learn more or have some support as you go along, you can see a TRE practitioner like me, but you don’t have to do that regularly. You can just do it when you want to or if you need some extra support.

TRE gives you back your freedom to engage in your healing journey and to heal at a rate your body is comfortable with, listening to and honouring your body. It is well worth learning TRE to empower yourself and move forward with your life. You don’t need to stay stuck, defensive or hidden. You can be free.

pathThere are many roads home, to healing, to your heart and wholeness. It doesn’t matter which road you take, what matters is your willingness to take a step forward into the unknown, into life being different. If you are willing, the Universe will meet you and guide you forth.

May you learn to run joyously along your path, knowing you are taken care of, and see the beauty of life and love all around you. For it is there just waiting for you to open your arms and embrace it. Life really is good once you heal your pain and can see more clearly. May you obtain inner peace as quickly and as easily as you can. With love, Amen.

By Jodi-Anne (08 October 2016).
Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.

Why do we inherit family trauma?

Trauma that cannot be processed by one family member, because it is overwhelming, they do not have the skills or knowledge of how to process it, or do not have the will to feel it and release it, will be passed on genetically to the next generation. It also of course affects the rest of the current generation due to the unavailability of the traumatised person who will be isolated within themselves, possibly numb emotionally and distant in their ineracting with others, be they their children or siblings.

Trauma stays within the body and freezes part of the person’s energy, it is literally stuck, frozen in time within them, locked into when the trauma occurred. It stays in the body until it is processed and if it is not processed then it remains locked in place, creating internal tension and dis-ease.

No individual wants this to occur or be passed on to their existing children or grand children. It is not an intentional thing, it is an automatic thing. If Dad has died in the war then Mum is going to be mourning, she is not going to be able to be present fully for the children or meet their emotional needs. The children will sense Mum’s pain and feel their own loss and mourning, so they will try to get Mum to feel better, so they can get the attention they need. If it doesn’t work they eventually give up trying and switch off, shut down emotionally, feeling empty, unloved, unsatisfied with life.

The pattern then repeats when they marry and try to get the attention they missed out on from their husband or wife. No matter how loving the partner is, they cannot make up for the emotional pain or love deficit from their partner’s childhood, so it will feel unloving or not enough. They may try hard to give enough, to do extra, be extra affectionate and giving, they may try to fill that hole in their partner. Eventually they realise no matter what they do it is not enough, it doesn’t work and they are exhausted from trying, so they switch off, shut down, isolate and become emotionally numb as well, so the pattern continues. No malice, no cruelty, just life when there is trauma within one or both partners in a relationship.

So how do you resolve it? By becoming aware of the trauma within, by creating a safe enough space that you can feel it, acknowledge it and let it dissolve. By seeing your defense mechanism and games you have used to protect yourself from it.

  • Have you kept yourself so busy that you can’t feel?
  • Have you been saving the world, feeling righteous putting all your energy into others or a cause, but neglecting yourself, avoiding yourself and your inner world?
  • Have you been pleasing others, doing for others, hoping that they will love and accept you and you will feel that you are okay, lovable and worthwhile?
  • Have you been isolating yourself from others, keeping a low profile, so as not to be seen or to avoid any possible further trauma? By being preoccupied with avoiding it, you stay stuck in it and will have difficulty exeriencing any joy in life.

There are many defensive mechanisms that people use to try and keep safe or to avoid their feelings. Looking good so to avoid rejection, fearing you won’t be accepted as you are, so you try to be, look, do everything perfectly. This is exhausting. It is no wonder people end up depressed or ill, their life force is being frittered away with fear and their over reactions to it.

To clear the trauma and stop passing it onto our kids we need to become emotionally aware and savvy in processing how we feel. Learn to go within and sit inside yourself, breathe, let the emotion surface and breathe through it, let it be released, felt into completion. It can’t be avoided. It has to be acknowledged and felt. Thank the defense mechanism for keeping you safe, but choose to be present for yourself and your inner child now.

happiness inside jobIt is this inner child part of you that needs your reassurance, your love, your acceptance. It needs you to become the good parent to yourself, to know that you will look after him/her and protect her, you wil be the Adult guardian she felt was absent in earlier years. As she feels safer and you feel and release the pain, you will find you are not triggered by life any more, you can live more in the now and be there for those you love. Your children, if you have any, will notice this shift, they will feel your presence and they will absorb your love, your attention, and you can meet their emotional needs, fill up their inner cup with love so it is overflowing, then they can acept themselves and enjoy their lives.

If their cup does  not get filled and they feel empty, forlorn, they will at a soul level choose to take some of your pain, some of your trauma so you feel better and then you might be able to love them more. They abandon themselves to care for you. This is a reversal of the orders of love and is damaging for all involved. Parents are meant to give and children receive. However, it is often reversed in many families when the parents are hurt, injured or unavailable, whether that be due to illness, addiction or absence.

Children try to make the parent happier, they may try to be neater or tidier, they may help out with the housework or try to cheer the parent up with jokes, they may try to steal the attention through getting into trouble to distract you from your pain or they may even sacrifice their own health, choosing to get ill so you will focus on them and not feel your own pain. Children are so loving, but this is not healthy behaviour.

In doing this chldren miss out on being kids, they grow up way too fast and this stunts their natural growth and emotional development. It locks trauma, pain and loss within them and so the cycle repeats. When they have their own children they will sense the parent’s pain and do the same thing, hence it passes through the generations. No malice, not deliberate, done out of love, of wanting to help and of not knowing how to heal the underlying issue of emotional pain and trauma.

Thankfully in today’s world we do have the knowledge of how to heal trauma, how to bring love back into the family system and to correct any reversals of flow, so that the younger generations can receive the love and support they need and deserve from the ancestors behind them.

Family Constellations and other methods can help individuals to heal their family systems, enabling hope and love to exist for all family members. There is much more that can be said about this in future blogs, for now this is enough, to understand that trauma passes through families until love is restored.

Each family member can find peace and happiness when the blocks to love are removed. It can be done, support is available and you can learn the skills to feel your emotions and release that which is locked away inside you. It is possible, it is worth doing and your children thank you, because then they don’t need to do it for you, the burden they carry for you is transformed, freeing them to enjoy their lives more. Such love, such loyalty, such strength and commitment to each other, that is what families are about and it is beautiful. Blessed BE, Amen.

By Jodi-Anne (10 September 2016).
Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.

Why are families so disconnected?

Some are and some are close, still maintaining a heart to heart connection between family members. In today’s world people are very busy, achieving, being better than others, obtaining things / material objects. These advances in gadgets, in stuff, are valued more highly than taking the time to BE, to connect with friends and family in real life. It is quicker, easier, more hassle free to just connect on social media and keep your physical distance, to have space for self, to rest and recover after working hard all day or facing your own emotional turmoil.

We are here on the planet to go through our awakening and this requires events to hapen to get us to stop and rethink our choices. It requires events that totally alter what we see as important and valuable in life, that is why the tragedies occur, the near death accidents or illnesses, the loss of relationships, family members or careers, the bankruptcy and crime. It all occurs to get us to stop and feel.

While we are busy living normal life we are often on autopilot, we go about our days the same way, over and over. It is comfortable, relatively easy, we don’t have to expend too much energy. Our comfort zone is stretched if we are asked to do much more and we may resist by shutting out that person and their demands or whatever it is that is asking us to stretch. It is easy to get lazy, to just rest and watch TV, to cuddle your pets or children or partner and to switch off from what is occurring to everyone else and the larger world. This is not callous, not personal, it is just human nature, to care for those you hold dearest and to draw a boundary around them and your way of being and to keep that safe, happy and easy.

Anyone wanting to come into your space may find it hard, if your boundaries are very strong. You simply don’t let them in, there is no time available for catching up or getting to know each other. No time for interaction. This is not necessarily a personal rejection, it is just that the person or people inside the circle are contented with their lives as they are and do not see the need to let anyone else in.

This may change in time, they may become more open and available, a career change, a new child, a special event, starting a hobby, or a loss of some kind may lead them to open the door a little wider. Their circumstances may change and they may need more people to help them, if someone was ill, if there was a new child or if their was unexpected loss in some way, whether that be a death of a loved one, loss of a job, crime and loss of posessions or finances. These losses occur to get people to open up, to step out of their comfort zone and to expand their consciousness. These life changing events kick-start the next phase of your evolutionary growth. They are meant to occur and they serve us. They shake us up and get us moving again.

hurting againIf you are upset that people will not let you in, that the door is closed, their boundaries too high, then look within yourself, look within and see why you are upset. You as an adult don’t need these people, you just want them. You can survive on your own. Any pain you are feeling is a trigger to heal that pain inside.

Many of us in childhood did not get our own needs met. We were left with an emotional deficit and we are hungry, starving for love and acceptance. We try to get it from many places and one of those is our families. We assume that they are our blood and we should be close, together, supporting each other. We should be happy, friendly and caring of each other. But this is just your thinking, your judgement.

You chose to incarnate into your specific family for a reason. If you chose a family that is disconnected, you did so for a reason. Perhaps you wanted to learn independence, self reliance and contentment outside of the family realm. If your family was all loving and kind and life was easy, you would not evolve at the rate you do when life is challenging. The challenges occur to help you go within and heal, to reconnect with your own divine nature and that of Source.

heart wateringAs you heal yourself you find that you don’t need love from others, you realise you are love, that is your true nature, and the nature of the Universe. We are surrounded by love and support all the time, but we don’t see it until we heal all the pain and trauma through which we view the world and those in it. We judge based on what is inside us. Each person, each family is doing exactly what they need for the evolution of its members. In time as they all heal and become one within themselves, love will flow freely throughout that family system. Until then there will be blockages, their will be conflict or separation.

You can’t force people to change, to heal, to let you in. What you can do is choose to love them anyway and to focus on healing your wounds and reconnecting to peace and love in your heart, so energetically love flows from you to everyone, instead of pain and judgement, shaming or blaming of those involved.

Try to be compassionate, try to accept that each is doing what they need to for their evolution and each is awakening at their own speed, evolution cannot occur over night, it takes time, lots of time and different people have different abilities to do so. We need to learn the skills to change our thinking patterns, our subconscious beliefs, our conditioning and emotional density. We need to learn how to take responsibility for our own lives and make the best out of what we have. We need to learn the power of gratitude and positive regard, seeing the best in things, as opposed to the worst.

Life truly can be Heaven on Earth if we do the work to heal ourselves. When we do so we make it easier for others to do the same. Energetically our freedom radiates out into the family system affecting others, making it easier for them to do the same. This is how we can help and make a difference  – by loving everyone as they are and accepting their choices and journey. We can focus on our own healing and evolution and know that when everyone’s hearts open back up love will flow freely between us all and families will be more harmonious. This will all take time and we can’t force it.

Don’t torture yourself by judging your family. Heal yourself instead, enjoy your life as much as you can and the doors will open in time, allowing greater connection to those you love. First you do the work internally, energetically and then it manifests in the outer world. Choose peace and love – that is what the world needs and what you are craving. You have to give it to you. You have to heal your blocks to receiving and to letting people close.

When you are healed and energetically open people will come, some of your blood family and some your Soul family, those who resonate with you, love you and want to be with you. These are your true tribe or family. The ones you birthed into were just the catalysts for your evolution and growth. Know in your heart you are okay, you are loved and you are held dear by all who know you, it may not seem like it, but the love is there, just waiting for you to heal enough so you can feel it. May that day come soon. Blessed BE. Amen.

By Jodi-Anne (27 July 2016).
Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.

Why is joy so fleeting?

Joy is an emotion that occurs when you are totally at peace and living in in the Now. You are not thinking about the future or the past or what you need to do later in the day. Joy is the sheer pleasure of being present and attentive to the moment at hand, and whatever is arising. Few of you can stay present for very long. You skip all over the place with your thinking and therefore joy is lost. It takes focus, immersement, surrender and acceptance for joy to be present. It is not a doing or an efforting, it is an ease, a relaxation into what is.

The questioning mind keeps you away from joy. The judging mind sends it away further. All these mind activities keep you stuck in the head and away from your heart, which is where joy is felt. So you can’t have lasting joy unless you can rest in your heart. When you can do so, you see beauty and joy everywhere. You see it in nature, in the sunshine, in dogs playing, children laughing. You see it in life and its busyness and you see it in the faces of those who are eating cake or icecream or who are on an endorphin high after exercise. Joy is everywhere when you are in the receptive state to see it, feel it and receive its vibration.

That means your heart needs to be peaceful and for many of us that isn’t the case very often. Many people have hearts full of emotioal pain, yet to be released, full of fear and mistrust, confusion and pain, doubt and loss. There are lots of emotions and painful thoughts or beliefs leading to and perpetuating these low vibration emotions and energies. People’s bodies are filled with these issues creating emotional density or baggage. The heart is weighed down and joy which is very light is not felt.

It can be felt temporarily when you do something that stills you, that takes you to your heart and to enough inner silence that you can hear the heart’s message. This might occur during meditation, a walk in nature, holding a baby or a beloved pet. Whatever it is that takes you inside yourself and quietens your mind, then you can feel joy.

Joy can last and become your predominant experience, once you have cleaned out the emotional density and ceased reacting to the events that occur around you. If someone cuts you off in traffic, you don’t have to get agitated or angry. You can stay calm and peaceful. It’s a choice. A habit to break and a decision to choose differently. Even if someone is in your face saying unkind things, you don’t have to react with fear or with anger back. You can just stay centred, send love to your heart and your inner child, and choose peace. You can send the person love and acknowledge their power, for that is what they are truly seeking, to be seen, heard, acknowledged and accepted. They are hurting inside and lashing out. Don’t deepen their wound by reacting badly/painfully, send them love and help them heal. If you can do this, you can maintain your state of balance, peace and joy, no matter what you encounter.

It is possible, you just have to learn to do so, to be able to step back and witness what occurs and choose your reaction. So monitoring your thoughts, being quiet enough to hear them, is an important skill to learn in order to have peace and joy all the time.

If your body automatically reacts with exaggerated fear responses to situations this is a signal that you have trauma inside that needs to be released. Your body is reacting as if you are in evere danger when you are not actually in danger.

A door may bang, a raised voice might occur, a car backfires and your body goes into freeze, into hypervigilance and defensive reactions. This is a sign that you need to comfort your body, connect inside and release that stress, tension and trauma, so that your body can relax, become more peaceful and able to relate to others, to life in more joyous and open ways. While your body feels there is threat, danger, it won’t relax fully and this makes it hard to have sustained joy as your mind is preoccupied expecting danger and scanning for it.

The scanning for danger distracts you from the moment, the stillness, the joy of being present to what is. It keeps you activated, primed ready to respond to whatever does occur. It can be exhausting even though nothing bad is actually happening.

You can use Tension and Trauma Release Exercises (TRE) and other embodiment activities to help you to clear out the stress, tension and trauma in your body, so it is easier for you to be in the now, to relax and to enjoy life. TRE activates the body’s natural, inbuilt mechanism for releasing stress, tension and trauma. It helps to calm your nervous system, to come out of freeze, fight and flight, back into calm social engagement, where you feel safe, can relax and play with others and enjoy life.

It is well worth learning TRE to help you be calm, playful and joyful as you move through life. It does take some time for your body to reach this state. You have to clear out the old stuck energies so the new lighter energy can enter. Thankfully with TRE you can do it at home, whenever you want, as part of your self-care process. Once you have learned how to self-regulate your TRE you can do it on your own, for free, for the rest of your life. Your body will thank you for it!

Even if you temporarily lose your cool and need to balance back up, you can do so quickly if you don’t berate yourself for it. You can simply notice that you reacted, learn from it, heal whatever button or event it triggered from your past and vow to react differently in future. Love yourself and the situation for the healing it enabled. Thank it and let it go. No need to hold on to it. No need to beat yourself up for slipping or not being perfect.

You are human and you are evolving and growing each day. Each day moves you towards having greater peace and joy in your life. The recipe is clear, less doing more being, less judging more accepting, less resistance more allowance, more fun and creativity, more stillness and going within, more practice and friendships – more sharing and growth. All of this adds up to a life full of joy and happiness, being of service in whatever way feels right to you. Blessed BE. Amen. May joy be in your hearts now and always. So be it.

By Jodi-Anne (4 June 2016).
Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.

Why do we have to go through so much pain?

The pain is what leads to the growth. I know it is hard to accept, but without it people would simply live superficial, easy, materialistic lives. They would be caught up in seeking pleasure and never question the status quo.

It is the pain that makes people wake up. It is the pain that gets them to slow down and reflect on life. It is the pain that humbles them, brings them to their knees and gets them to accept they can’t do it on their own. It is the pain that leads them home to God, to peace and happiness. It is the pain that saves them and turns them to the light.

golden heartI know it is extremely hard and challenging when you have suffered severe pain and tragedy, when your emotions are spent and your body exhausted. I know it is devastating to see the suffering in the world, to feel the pain of all those around you, but it is the depth of suffering that will lead you to stand up and shine your light the brightest, to help reduce the suffering of others.

As each person comes out of their tunnel of darkness, they can show the way to others. They can stand in the face of the other’s pain and say “You can survive this. I am proof and I am here”. It is the pain that leads to your ability to overcome and to stand strong. It is the pain that teaches you to reach out for others to support you and help you through. It is the pain that brings you to your knees and then that enables you to empathise with other’s when they are on their knees.

You learn we are all the same, we all go through it, we all need help and support sometimes. You learn we are one, the Universal experience is that of pain and suffering and overcoming it and embracing the light. That is growth, that is evolution. There is no other way, no other way to achieve that depth of understanding and compassion. Each goes through it, each matures as a result of it and each gets stronger and shines their light more brightly because of it.

Each lifetime you explore a different aspect of life and round out your experiences. They do not all involve suffering, but some must for you to evolve and grow. You also have lifetimes full of pleasure and happiness. These are good, but slower in growth terms, as it is the challenges that lead to growth. It is those few key moments, where you get to choose to act or not act, to help or not help another, to choose love or fear – those key decisions and turning points, that life is all about. The day to day stuff is relatively unimportant and meaningless from an evolutionary point of view.

Without the catastrophes change would not occur. The Earth needs the earthquakes and volcanoes to make new land, to change what is. Floods and storms create the new on Earth. It all serves a purpose, it isn’t a catastrophe. Sometimes land needs to be split apart and what has grown there is wiped out and started again. that is life. Species die and are wiped out, pollution occurs. It is all part of it. We aren’t meant to live completely rosy lives full of health and happiness.

We are meant to face great challenges, to see if we rise up and behave greatly. We all face our demise with old age and have to surrender control as our bodies weaken and become frail. We are all humbled one way or another. We are all led to question life and why what happens does happen the way it does. We are all led to question God’s existence and whether we believe in him/her or not.

We are all led to the altar, but only some knock on the door, only some enter the kingdom, many turn away, many don’t knock out of fear or anger, pride or jealously. They don’t knock and therefore don’t get an answer. God is there waiting to answer their questions, but they have to ask. Without asking there is no call and therefore no response. It isn’t God’s fault we don’t ask, he is there encouraging us. But he waits patiently knowing everyone will knock eventually. It just takes time, different amounts of time for each to grow weary enough, that they gladly surrender and come home to his arms, his heart and choose to live in peace, accepting what is and flowing with life. While we still fight against what is, we are held separate from God’s love, wishing life was different or rebelling against it’s seeming unfairness.

Each person gets what they need for their evolution and growth. Yes it is hard, yes there is a great deal of pain and suffering, but it leads you home to the light in a way that cannot be obtained any other way.

Move through the pain to the light and you can help others learn how to do so too. You can help reduce the suffering in the world by guiding others through their tunnels of darkness in the quickest way possible, so they can enjoy life again and see the light.

You don’t have to stay trapped in darkness any longer. You see the door, walk through it into the light of day, of surrender to what is and living each day being grateful for what you do have and focusing on what is good in the world. Focus on the good and you will feel better. Be and spread love and you will feel better. Focus on the beauty of creation, of nature, of life and feel that in your heart. Fill your heart with love and joy by allowing that to be your experience of life. Do things that bring you joy, spend time wtih people who you love and feel love from. Focus on and multiply the good in your life and it will become your predominant experience of what is here on Earth.

You do not need to stay stuck in pain. The pain is just a stepping stone moving you towards the light. Take the leap and move forward into peace and joy and leave the past and suffering behind.

Focus on the now and all that is good in your life and the world. That is how you move out of pain and into peace. Feel what you need to feel then move on. Do the emotional release work and releasing your conditioning and mental programming. Release it and find peace. Clear our the trauma and tension from your body. You can use Tension and Trauma Release Exercises (TRE) to help you to do this, to activate your body’s natural, inbuilt mechanism for releasing stress, tension and trauma. Release these stuck energies and it’s easier to be in the now, to be present with others, to enojy life. Release it and move forward.  You can do it and you can help many others to do it too.

Happy kidsYou are each a role model for those around you. You are each a catalyst of growth for many. You have a greater influence than you realise. When you choose to shine your light, all those in your local vicinity receive a wave of higher vibration energy, which helps them to let go of their pain and move forward.

So your vibration helps to free them of their suffering, to loosen the grip on the ties that bind them, the inner knots and tangles inside, these slowly unwind, free up and you are helping them do it by shining your light. So realise that you serve many and your suffering has led you to this service, this gift of light that you give to others.

It does all serve a purpose, even if it appears random and senseless at first. Know you are loved and there is help all around you, waiting for you to let it in. Let the light in and choose peace, for you truly can have it when you let go of the past, your judgments on what is and flow with life. So be it. Amen.

By Jodi-Anne (2 June 2016).
Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.

What is God-realisation?

God-realisation occurs when a person realises that there is a larger purpose to life and an orchestration of events to help you grow and evolve into a loving being of light, being of service while living on Earth.

God-realisation is simply honouring that larger process of evolution that is occurring for all beings and choosing to align with it, not fight against it.

God-realisation occurs when you consciously look for signs and synchronicities to guide you forth, trusting the Universe and your higher self to provide you with what you need for your highest and best growth.

God-realisation occurs when you see this dance of creation and realise that you are just a small piece of the puzzle, being guided by larger forces which are loving and benevolent. In awe of the process you awaken to God, to love, to spirit, to the unseen dimensions, which include the realm often thought of as Heaven.

amazing-nature-sunrise-hd-wallpaperHeaven is simply a realm where there is no resistance to life, all live in harmony energetically and physically. It is a realm in which beings / souls are transparent and can see each other’s thoughts and essence. Hence lying and manipulation are not possible. People live in peace, connected to and vibrating at the rate of Source energy. It is therefore blissful, heavenly, beautiful and beauty filled.

It exists as a space to visit and return from if you have a Near Death Experience. It exists as a place we go to between incarnations. It is one place, one dimension or realm of many. It is not a place that is distinct from other aspects of life. It is all interconnected and we touch it when our heart melts looking at a new born baby or when in nature and standing in awe and stillness at the beauty of Mother Earth. It is a pure, loving vibration that we can tap into and become most of the time. We can live from that pure, loving space if we heal our emotions and vibration, so that it elevates to Christ-consciousness or God-realisation. Christ was an example of someone who obtained the God-realised state while on Earth. He is a guide for us to do the same.

It is not about Heaven or Hell as places to fear or to worry about. You will be accepted in Heaven, as it is not a place of judgement or exclusion. It is not a place of isolation or welcoming. All are welcomed. All are loved. It is only we humans who judge and exclude.

A Source-realised person knows they are love, they are worthy and they are of God. We are all created from Source energy. It is all there is, so we are pure and innocent. We are capable of kindness and loving our neighbour as we love ourself.

Most of us have just forgotten to truly love ourself, let alone anyone else. We have forgotten that we are children of God, aspects of Source energy visiting Earth for a chance to evolve and once completed we rejoin the whole. We are that. It is all one. All aspects of the Great Creator, the Source of all things, commonly known as God.

There is majesty in the Universe and its orchestration of events to assist each person to evolve and grow, to heal their hurts and return to wholeness, to awaken to God-consciousness and God-realisation. It is happening all the time, it is a process that takes a lifetime – in the sense of discovering it, experiencing it, and then becoming it.

At first you may be able to tap into the energy of Source/God when in meditation or prayer or nature. You may glimpse it. You may have an altered experience, a heightened moment of clarity and sensitivity. Then you may lose it, feel like you can’t access it again, until you raise your vibration further, then you see it more often. As you keep clearing out dense energy, emotions, baggage, you raise your vibration to the  point that the mysterious can become an every day experience.

You can be tapped in, tuned in, receiving messages from your higher self and Guides who are there assisting you behind the scenes. It is always there, just you can’t see, hear, feel them or their help until your vibration raises to a certain level. Help is always there, in the form of an Angel or Guide, a friendly entity of light or good spirit who is helping society to evolve. There are many beings of light assisting humanity’s evolution.

There is great love throughout the Universe for those courageous souls who come to Earth in its dense energy to live out a lifetime of pain and awakening to enable their evolution to expand, to further their growth in Self and God-realisation. That is what is occurring over and over again with each soul who is here and they grow a little more each lifetime they live. It is a slow process in human terms, but a fast one from an evolutionary perspective. It is all purposeful, all happening perfectly from that bigger perspective.

We are simply a piece of the puzzle, each piece needed, each piece unique with its own gifts and state of awareness. No need to compare yourself to others for you are unique. Your combination of past lives and experiences from this life is unique. You are here to learn and grow in a way that is unique to you. You serve the whole by being YOU. Don’t try to be something you are not. You have evolved to a certain point and that is okay. Where you are at is okay. There is no better or worse, no higher or lower. A greatly advanced soul may choose a particularly harsh life experience to test their mastery of the concepts. They may appear to our human eye as someone who is struggling with life, who is down and out, so to speak, but that is just a phase of their awakening, their remembrance of truth.

When they remember and heal their hurts, they will shine their light so brightly. They just have to see through the fog to the light of day, then they step into their magnificence. So don’t judge someone by where they stand today. Accept and love all beings and focus on seeing their best attributes, see them doing well, being happy and realising their truth. We all will in time. It is just a step along the journey to Self-realisation and God-realisation. Blessed BE, Amen.

By Jodi-Anne (01 April 2016).
Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.