Tag: Personal Development

Why is it useful to spend time in nature?

by Dr. Jodi-Anne M Smith, posted in Conscious Evolution, Self help techniques, Sustainability, Uncategorized

nature-scenes-04Nature vibrates at the rate of Source energy. It helps us slow down and our vibration rise. It is calming and soothing to our nervous systems that are over stimulated from modern living and rushing around.

Nature shows us life’s pace – things grow, bloom, wither and die. There is no fanfare or drama linked to these events, it is simply part of life. There are times when life seems bountiful – good weather, nutrients, enough water and plants thrive. There are times when life seems poor, harsh and cruel – no water, drought, blistering heat. Yet the plants and animals simply adjust, changing their behaviour to suit the circumstances. Some may perish. This is not a personal vendetta or attack. It is simply life in the bigger picture.

All species need some form of control to limit numbers and destruction of the ecosystem from over population. Different species eat each other. Pests and disease come to wipe out some populations. It is all part of the cycle of life.

Trees don’t take it personally when the wind blows, pushing them around. They just bend as much as they can and let the wind blow. They don’t go into ‘Why me, it’s so unfair, i’m a good tree, I haven’t hurt anyone, etc’. They just bend and adjust. They just keep growing. And life can be much simpler and more enjoyable for us if we learn to do the same.

It is our emotional reactions to events in our life that create the suffering. If we just flow with life, accepting what occurs and adjusting to it as need be, we wouldn’t suffer as much.

The loss of that job or partner is not a tragedy, it is a step in your evolutionary process, it is leading you forward to something far greater.

When we are comfortable in our lives, we just sit and be still through much of it. This is beneficial, a time of rest, restrengthening. The bud is beginning to reach out, absorb the sun and is readying itself to burst forth in bloom when the time is right.

Most of us will not step out of our nice, comfy place without a push, a life event catapaulting us forward to face whatever needs to be faced for our growth and evolution. We need the storms in order to grow. The floods and fires shake things up so that new life can spring forth once the tidal wave of change recedes.

Big events in our lives, unexpected massive changes to our lives are like these storms. They unhook us from our stable foundations and force us to adapt, to find a way to evolve and grow.

Human beings are part of nature and are also exposed to similar cycles and patterns of growth. Nature itself shows us the most useful way to respond. Nature adapts and moves on. The deer run when the lion is around and rest when it is not. The bear hibernates in winter. He doesn’t push through, trying to force things to be different than they are. He just does the wisest thing he can to conserve his energy and stay strong. He rests, sleeps deeply and awakens when the time is right and the harvest is present. We do the same.

Spending time in nature helps us in so many ways. The green colour which is so prevalent in natural scenes soothes our heart and helps the heart chakra open. The blue of water soothes our throat making it easier for us to calmly speak our truth. The beauty of nature leaves us in awe of life and to creation, helping us consider that there may be a creator who produced all of this magnificence.

Nature soothes us, replenishes us and helps us ground within our bodies, to come out of the head or mind chatter and be present in the moment. Walking bare foot on grass helps us heal. It allows the energy of the Earth to travel up our legs and calm the body. It is a good cure for jet lag too, helping us adjust to the new location / new energy that you are in.

Nature truly is our friend, of great benefit to us and when we destroy it, we are harming ourselves literally. Without nature in abundance the air we breathe would not get cleansed or purified, the water cycle would not work as well and pollution would stagnate in our water instead of being filtered out. The soil would erode without tree roots holding it in place and the land would become barren, making it more difficult to grow our food.

When we disturb the balance of nature we suffer as well. So plant some trees, support your local environmental groups and give thanks to this wonderful planet who supports us, nourishes us and heals us, all without asking for recognition, compensation or reward. Thank you Mother Nature. Thank you. Blessed BE, Amen.

By Jodi-Anne (04 November 2015).

Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.

How do you stop being over controlling?

by Dr. Jodi-Anne M Smith, posted in Healing from child abuse, Relationships, Uncategorized

People are over controlling when they feel scared and vulnerable underneath. They micro-manage everything in an attempt to stay safe and have everything work out as they want it to. If another person does not behave the way they want, the first person is likely to get very angry as they fear the consequences of that person’s actions will be devastating.

Underneath it all is FEAR, lots of fear, hurt and sadness which has built up over the person’s lifetime. The controlling personality is just a defense mechanism to cover up the fear and protect their vulnerability.

In reality the process of over controlling is exhausting, it is done frantically, manically. It is not a peaceful process and it certainly isn’t kind. A controlling person can be very bossy and judgmental as they push through trying to force the outcome they need to feel safe.

They are not thinking about the other person’s feelings or needs, only their own. While this sounds selfish, it is not really. It is not coming from a place of my needs are more important than yours. It is coming from a space of ‘I need you to do this in order for me to feel safe, I am in danger unless you do this, you must do this, please do this’. It is a painful way to live, so desperate and afraid.

Many controlling people appear tough, cold, judgmental, unemotional, but that is just the mask they wear to cover up their vulnerability and fear. What the person really needs is to drop the mask, feel the feelings, release the hurt and sadness, learn to speak their truth in kind and loving ways. For instance:

‘I know I have been pushy and controlling wanting you to do certain things. I’m sorry that I have been so forceful. I was afraid that if you didn’t do those things, X would happen and that worries me. I’m scared Y will occur and I wanted to avoid that. I understand you don’t feel the same ways as me and you may have felt I was saying “You are not good enough as your are”. Please know that I never meant for you to feel that. You are a beautiful child of God on your own path of healing and wholeness. I was just scared and wanted to avoid what I feared would occur. What I really need is to say all of this to you and stop pretending to be strong. Can we work out a plan together to tackle this situation, then I can relax knowing that it will be okay.

When I start to get scared or frustrated can you please just give me a hug, help me to feel okay, safe, reassured that all is okay. I would love it if we could do that. I know it is not your job to look after me, I will look after me, I am just sharing how I feel. I will do my best to let go and trust you to do what is agreed to. I may slip up and be pushy occasionally – this has been a lifetime habit. If I do slip up just let me know and give me a hug. Please don’t get mad at me. I mean no harm, I’m just scared and need to be comforted and reassured. Thank you for loving me, listening to me, and caring for me. I love you and value you and want to treat you better and I will do so. Thank you’

If a person who has been over controlling like this can speak their truth, the armour can start to melt, they can let go of the rigidity, soften the emotions and feel their heart beat. They will need to learn self supportive talking techniques to reassure themselves whenever they start feeling vulnerable. They will need to learn positive thinking / thought stopping skills, so they can stop a negative thought in its tracks and change it to a more positive one. ‘Yes, I used to believe it would be a disaster if …. occurred. I know now that I would cope, even if it did occur. In all the years of worrying about …… it has never or rarely happened and even when it has, it hasn’t been that bad. I’ve coped. I’ve survived. I’ve learned and I’m okay!’

Free-Bird

Worry is pointless, it really is, let it go. Let go of wasting your days in fear. Let it go. Focus on your breathing and calm your body this way. Deepen your breathing as much as you can. Long breaths into the belly help your body to calm and to regulate itself. Fear chemicals will get dissolved and you can return to a state of balance and peace.

Know that those people who appear most rigid, have the most emotion locked inside them. They have not processed and released it. They have bottled it up inside and they are like a pressure cooker waiting to explode. They are under great internal pressure that they need to learn to regulate, to let the steam out little by little, in manageable ways until the pressure has dissipated.

The body actually has a natural mechanism to do this. It will ‘tremor’ to release the tension, stress and trauma that has accumulated in the body. You can activate the tremoring mechanism to safely discharge the blocked energy and calm your nervous system out of fight and flight back to peace. If you would like to learn more about the tremoring process see the Trauma and Tension Release Exercises (TRE) page of my website.

Processing the emotions underneath controlling behaviour will take time and courage to face the truth of your feelings and drop your personality mask. It requires a willingness to be vulnerable, to meet and reveal your true self, your inner child and all the hurts that have been hidden. Doing so leads to freedom, to inner peace, better relationships and more enjoyment of life. It is worth doing. Blessed BE. Amen.

By Jodi-Anne (29 October 2015).

Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.

What is the point of life?

by Dr. Jodi-Anne M Smith, posted in Conscious Evolution

heartThe point of life is to grow and enjoy yourself in the process, to open up to love and life fully embracing what comes, trusting it is helping you evolve into the healthiest and happiest version of yourself you can be.

Life is not about achievement of money, success, qualifications or possessions. It is about living authentically as yourself with an open heart. Do you stop to help the struggling stranger or do you rush by? Do you notice the beauty of nature and stop to smell the roses and watch the sunset? Do you make the time to connect deeply with those you love? Or does life keep passing you by as you rush from one thing to another? Do you eat as you go focussing more on completing your task, rather than nourishing your body? Do you even notice your body and its messages, the signs it gives you asking you to rest, slow down or have fun? Do you exercise it and pamper it? Do you show yourself and others love? These are all questions about life and the quality with which you live it.

Life is not meant to be a race with winners and losers. It is not meant to have classes or divisions between its inhabitants – you are all part of nature, all connected, so why fight each other? Do you realise that hurting others actually just hurts yourself? The point of life is to come to a place within yourself where you worship all of life, accepting it all as part of God’s plan and the unfolding, evolving, Universe.

It all happens perfectly. Tragedy invites us to feel deeply, to open our hearts and breathe through any emotional pain. It invites us to connect with others and support each other through it. It helps us evolve into more loving people, more compassionate to others, knowing what it is like to live through heart ache and loss, to have felt vulnerability and pain, to have been humbled by life events which show us how little control we really have. The point of life is live through these situations and embrace it all, the desired and undesired aspects. All of it is life, all of it happens as it needs to and we just respond, hopefully with love and grace, accepting what is. If not we get the chance to practice till we can.

There is no race, no grand prize or destination. The journey along the way is the prize, the enjoyment of heart-centred living is the gift and prize sought after by those who don’t yet know the ecstacy of feeling such peace and bliss in one’s body, the feeling of ease and flow. Everyone has it, but just may not notice it, as they rush through their day, pushing away their feelings and intuition. Many simply don’t listen as they sense it is too hard to change or feel what is inside, but doing so is the point of life. It is what we are here to do.

Don’t accept the unacceptable. A part of you dies inside when you do. It falls away, a part of your wholeness flakes off as you swallow your voice and don’t speak your truth, when you let someone treat you poorly or allow yourself to be walked over. It is time to find the courage to speak up and step up to say what you truly want and feel what you need to feel. It is time to fully be you and shine, that is the point of life and it is very good. It is all very good, so relax and enjoy it, as you grow fully into living from your heart and being authentically you in the world. Blessed BE. Amen.

By Jodi-Anne (17 Oct 2015).

Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.

How to find freedom from the past?

by Dr. Jodi-Anne M Smith, posted in Conscious Evolution

Freedom from the past occurs when you are no longer affected by it, when you have processed all the emotions and judgements about it and can accept it peacefully as part of your process of evolution and becoming a light being filled with love and acceptance of all things.

In truth there is nothing wrong or bad, it is all helping you grow and evolve, moving you forth on the evolutionary scale. Those that experience the most traumatic starts to life are brave souls who have come to Earth determined to take a large evolutionary jump – doing in one lifetime what others may do in several.

When you look at the big picture like this, it can help release the ‘sting’ associated wtih painful events. You can look for the gift within them, the learning and skill development. Through the hardest things we learn hsadness-and-joyow strong we can be, we find strength we didn’t know we had. We might reach out to friends or God and allow deeper connection within and without. We may allow our vulnerability to show and surrender to the path. Our ego mind loosens its grip, knowing it can’t control anything. We learn to feel and connect with our hearts and in time to operate from the heart space, living as a being with integrated heart and mind – one who sees duality in the world and accepts it knowing it is just a teaching tool. Without up we wouldn’t know down. Without sadness we wouldn’t know joy or peace. We need the opposites to feel things. Without pain we wouldn’t know how good it feels to be at peace or to be loved. We need the opposite to enable us to grow. So see it from that perspective. It isn’t evil and dangerous. It is just people / souls playing a role you asked them to play to help you experience and grow in a particular way.

Life is like a movie with characters playing the parts required for your advancement. Just because they play the role of violent, addicted man or betraying partner, does not mean that is who they are. It is just one aspect of them, of their totality, and it is the part called forth this lifetime.

Everyone will experience all aspects of life. It is not a kaleidoscope of joyous events, getting happier and fluffier as you go. It is the opposite! As you advance you choose more challenging roles so you can see how far you have grown. You see whether or not you can choose love and peace in the midst of turmoil. You see whether you can be loving and happy, despite what is occurring around you and when people disappoint you or hurt you. You choose life plans that show how far you have come and how far you still have to go. So it is never going to be all roses and cups of tea. Life is meant to challenge you to help you grow, to move forward and evolve.

The thing is, as you evolve more and more, you become more peaceful and heart centred so even very challenging events can be moved through with ease and grace. You simply don’t react to them with judgement or strong emotion. You witness it, look at what is occurring within you, what is coming up to be processed inside, you do it and return to peace and balance. So even the big challenges only knock you off centre for a short time.

wavesofchangeIt is like a large wave on the ocean. It looks daunting when it is coming towards you, but if you just float and allow the wave to wash over you, it passes and you are are left in calm waters. That is what is occurring. You are learning to just ride the waves of life, rather than panic, fear them, fight against them or judge them. You are learning to just look at them, accept them and allow them to pass through. No resistance. No taking it personally or creating drama about it, no feeding the ego or victim mentality, no why me questioning. Just acceptance and flow with what is. Life will keep bringing you challenging events until you can ride the waves smoothly. Once you have mastered it, you no longer need the challenges to occur. Instead of just floating in the water, then you can play, surf, show others how to move from pain to peace and enjoy life.

Nothing is out to get you. Nothing is done to harm you or physically destroy you. It is all helping you evolve and grow. You are not your body or your mind, you are your soul and you will move from this lifetime to the next and experience a different aspect of life to master and grow from. This is just one movie in a library of thousands. As you start to truly understand and see the process unfolding the past does not bother you so much. You become immune to it, in the sense of seeing it as one little speck of dirt on a beautiful piece of furniture. You choose to see the beauty, the whole picture, not focus on the dirt or the little flaw in the wood. You see the magnificence of creation and give thanks for being a part of an expanding, evolving Universe reaching towards harmony and peace for all. You become a Wayshower, a Light Bearer demonstrating the process for others. And in time you may even become thankful for your past and those challenges that helped you grow and become all that you can be. This is freedom from the past. It no longer has a negative emotional charge, it no longer adversely affects you or your life experience. This is freedom from the past and how you achieve it. It is a long process from the perspective of a human wanting to be happy, but it is a quick process from the perspective of an evolving soul that lives for eternity. One lifetime, a 100 years, in amongst eternity. It is a gift to experience tragedy and grow through it. It won’t feel like that at first or for quite some time, but it will eventually feel that way.

May you find peace quickly and enjoy your journey as much as possible. Blessed BE. Amen.

By Jodi-Anne (08 Oct 2015).

Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.

What is the role of the inner child?

by Dr. Jodi-Anne M Smith, posted in Healing from child abuse, Self help techniques

inner-childEach of you has your child-self inside you, the memories and feelings of what it was like at each age of your life. These memories and feelings still affect you today and can sabotage your life. If you are wanting to do something new, to take a risk and explore a new aspect of life, these younger parts of you may try to stop you if they don’t feel safe, if they remember taking risks before led to lots of pain or change = loss, heart break. In this sense they are trying to protect you and keep you safe. If you want to go ahead with your risk taking you will need to talk to and work with your inner child to reassure them that you are aware of the risk and you are taking steps to ensure it doesn’t go badly.

You literally can talk to, cuddle and hold your inner child. Close your eyes and feel them inside you. They may be hiding from view at first, but as you talk to them and try to connect with them they will come out from the shadows to talk to you. Ideally you want to build a healthy, loving relationship with your inner child. Check in with them daily, even if it is only a few minutes. See how they are feeling and ask them what they need. If you have been working really hard they may want you to rest and have some fun. You can visualise going to the partk with them and playing on the play equipment or having a picnic by the sea. There is no limit to this inner contact and its possibilities. As the child learns to trust you it will relax and play more on its own, not needing to interrupt your plans with its fear, concerns or anger. Ignoring your inner child is a recipe for disaster. It will throw a tantrum and cause you to behave in less than ideal ways. Better to meet your inner child’s needs first so this doesn’t occur.

My child was very scared and grumpy at first, feeling alone, neglected and abandoned. She wanted icecream and attention. She wanted to be heard and listened to as she told me all of the things I had done that hurt her. She then wanted the chance to dot he same with my parents and others whose actions had affected her. This can all be done through guided visualisations.

inner childBasically your inner child wants you to become the good, attentive, loving parent to it. They may feel you didn’t receive enough love and attention when little and they want to receive that from you. If you give it they become contented, happy, joyful, playful and help you go through life seeing the beauty and innocence all around us.

Many of us had to grow up too quick. Many kids learn very young to shut off their childlikeness and innocence to focus on the needs of others – to watch out for danger in an abusive home or unsafe environment. Many end up taking care of their parent who may have been depressed, suicidal, or otherwise unavailable. Many kids become much older than their physical age by taking on some role in the family, it may be caring for siblings if the parents don’t do it. For whatever reasons, many people do not experience the beauty and innocence of childhood where life is all about exploring, learning, playing and having fun. Those inner children who missed out on that, who grew up too quick, may still be trying to control what happens to you, continuing to play the role of watcher, protector, guardian. They may be scanning for danger constantly or fearful of what might occur. They need you to take over, to be the adult, and to allow them to finally be a child and do age appropriate things. Then they can relax and play. They can open their hearts back up and have fun. They can let go of their grudges and resentments. As they heal we obtain the freedom to be more adult-like, to operate from the present, as oposed to being affected by the past.

The role of the inner child is to show us what we still need to heal and to help us return to our state of innocence and peace. They remind us how to live life in the moment in awe of the natural world around us. They remind us how to play, have fun, love unconditionally and just BE. They have a very important role in helping us return to health and wholeness. Love them, take time to be with them and your life will blossom, as you do so internally. Our inner children are very important and deserve to be rescued from the pain they have been trapped in for decades. Set them free and you also free yourself. Blessed BE, Amen.

By Jodi-Anne (22 Sept 2015).

Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.

How to recognise when a relationship no longer serves you?

by Dr. Jodi-Anne M Smith, posted in Relationships
lovely-friendship-images-4k-image-1

Relationships occur to support your growth and expand your understanding of life. Through conflict and challenge in relationships you learn to see your conditioning, your patterning and what it is you need to heal.

Simply leaving one partner and moving to the next one will result in repeating the lesson and confrontation which will surface once again hoping you will heal it and resolve the issue. Once you heal the issue inside you, you no longer need to manifest it in the outside world.

So how to tell if the conflict you face in a relationship is leading to beneficial growth and therefore is still a useful, supportive relationship or if it is time to leave? That is the million dollar question.

If your relationship is generally happy, filled with love and supportive of you and your growth, then it is beneficial. If your partner accepts you as you are, cares for you and wants the best for you then it is clear that this is a beneficial relationship in which you can continue to grow.

Life will never be completely easy and relationships wil always have their ups and down. The challenge is not to run away too early or throw the baby out with the bath water, so to speak.

It is a time of tumultuous growth on Earth. Much is being asked of you all and you are clearing out dense emotions and energy at a rapid rate. There are going to be times when you or your partner are bogged down in their stuff, where they are not able to see the light of day, where they appear stuck and hopeless. Will you love them at this point or leave them? Love stays. Love heals. Love reconnects the wounds within to the light of love and freedom.

Love and support each other through these challenges. See the good in each other, not the weaknesses. See the growth and changes occurring in all beings you interact with.

While there is love and support a relationship is worthwhile. When the love is gone or there is meanness, harshness and selfishness, then perhaps it is time to part. But not before hand and don’t go too soon, as it may just be a healing crisis that can be worked through resulting in elevated energy / vibration for all.

Trust life to guide you forth. If you are meant to leave you will get a clear message. If you are confused then it is not time to go. Look at your own stuff to heal, focus their and keep healing your own stuff, raising your vibration and welcoming greater love and light into your heart, body and mind.

You are a being of love. It is only the wounds that stop you from seeing it and feeling it. Don’t reject yourself or others. Love them. Love them all. It is love that heals and reunites us.

If you are being abused by a partner by all means leave. But if there is love there, support and encouragement – see it, value it, appreciate it.

If you can talk heart to heart and connect deeply that is a gift, a powerful healing opportunity guiding you both to wholeness. Don’t turn away from such a love because it is not your version of perfection.

All relationships will have challenge, that is what they are designed for. They help you clear out your conditioning and patterning. Will you love or reject the other when they are less than perfect? You too are less than perfect. Do they accept you? Are you being less loving than them?

It can be very complicated to see through all the projections and wounded aspects to see into the heart of the other. But try to do so. In their heart they are still pure, innocent souls. Each just needs love and acceptance to help them unlock the door to their heart and let their light shine.

That is why we bond in relationship. We are looking for someone to love us as we are, which gives us permission to consider that we are worthy of love and are okay even with our wounds. When we feel this, we can let our guard down, the defenses and walls dissolve and we can be vulnerable, authentic and intimate.

Without that acceptance we don’t feel safe to expose our tender hearts and heal our deepest wounds. It is the love and safety that comes with intimacy – seeing into another’s true essence, that heals us both, all who participate in it. Be that loving. Be that supportive of each other and your relationship will continue to grow and evolve.

That is the goal of life – to evolve into conscious and loving light beings while living here on Earth. If you can still your mind and go deep within to the still place of your heart, you will hear the truth about your relationship and you will know what to do. The answers are within you, you just have to have the courage to hear them and the sense to patiently wade through all the static like noise that comes from your projections and mind chatter.

Never take action rashly. Never leave or attack the other when you are feeling threatened / defensive / rageful. Breathe through those emotions and work through your stuff, so you come to a place of balance before talking to your partner or friend about the situation. In this way you respond with honesty and love for both of you, as opposed to reacting full of initial emotion, which does not necessarily represent how you really feel.

You can use Tension and Trauma Release Exercises (TRE) to help you to release your frustration, stress and tension. It will help you to complete unfinished trauma activations from the past, so that you can relax, be more present and see how you feel based on today’s information, rather than being driven by past pain and disappointments.

TRE can help you to balance your nervous system, body and mind. It helps you to reach a place of greater peace and calm where you can enjoy socially interacting with others, not seeing threat or danger where none is present.

Trust life to lead you forth. Let go of needing to control it all or figure it out. If you are confused it is not time to leave. It is time to look within and heal the buttons being pushed and the wounds beneath them.

Relationships are not meant to be warm and fuzzy all the time. They are tools for growth and learning how to love fully, accepting another as they are – not directing them to be your ideal man or woman.

They are who they are, accept them. Don’t try to change them or control them. That will only result in resentment and frustration on both sides. No one likes to be told they are not okay or not good enough. No one deserves to be treated that way.

Love everyone you come in contact with. That is what we all need, to open our hearts and become our true, authentic selves. So choose peace and happiness. Don’t take things personally and accept each other as you grow and evolve in love. That is how it should be. Blessed BE. Amen.

By Jodi-Anne (11 Sept 2015).

Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.

How to overcome disappointment with your life?

by Dr. Jodi-Anne M Smith, posted in Uncategorized

pathDisappointment comes from wishing things had been different, from being unhappy with what was. But as you hold yourself in that place of unhappiness your future can not be happy. So to overcome disappointment with your life you need to learn to be happy and accept what is.

No matter what life brings you, you can always choose happiness. It is a choice. You can choose to celebrate the gifts you do have – food, shelter, friends, a job. Even if you don’t like the job or the home, at least you have one. Appreciate them. Appreciate all the good in your life, then things can improve.

are you happyLiterally, as you chose to focus on what you want and taking steps towards it, you create the future anew and positive, supportive chemicals in your body. As you focus on the old, on the fact that nothing changes or that you have missed out on so much, you are creating sad, depressive chemicals in your body, which is why your body will then feel lethargic, at a loss, no motivation to do anything. You are bogging yourself down with heavy baggage. You have to let it go.

Doing so involves living in the moment, creating fun and joy. Do this. It can be as simple as playing some music that uplifts you or makes you laugh and want to dance. Light candles, incense and decorate your home in such a way that it feels a peaceful, happy place to dwell. Colour can really help to brighten things up. Spending time in nature also helps lighten the load – the green of the grass, trees, shrubs, etc opens our heart chakra back up, so we can feel connected, held, supported.

Your parents did the best they knew how and while you may wish that was different, it is the truth, and what occurred is what happened. You can’t change that and no matter how much you wish it was different, it can’t be. It has happened. Your choice is to waste your now upset about it or to use your energy to create an enjoyable now and a future you will enjoy and be proud of.

If nagging thoughts, sadness and preoccupation with the past continues to haunt you, then see a therapist to help you ‘unhook’ from it. There are many ways to do this – EFT, Psych-K, Lifeline Technique and more. Lots of ways to change subconscious beliefs and patterning that keeps you stuck in the old way. Family constellations can help shift the dynamics in the family so love can flow freely from the ancestors to the current generation. These are energetic processes that can help free you from what was and find peace. They don’t change the past but help you to see them and react to them differently. It doesn’t matter what the others involved do now. They don’t have to change for you to be happy. It is you who has to change, to see the truth of what is and to take responsibility for creating a life you desire.

be what you needAcknowledge the sadness of your inner child who is waiting for you to love him/her and to play with him/her. You can be the best parent to yourself. You can talk nicely to yourself, buy yourself presents, take yourself on excursions and outings to fun and interesting places. You can nurture yourself with massage and treats. You can cook yummy, healthy food for yourself and go on adventures. You are the one who can free yourself and give yourself the love that you need.

Literally, you can talk to your inner child and comfort him/her, give him/her a hug and hold her close. You can bring him/her into your heart chakra and tell him/her how much you love him/her and how precious he/she is. If you don’t have time to go on an actual outing, you can do a guided visualisation with your inner child and see yourself having fun.

It is up to you, you have to choose to prioritise time for having fun, for making your life how you want it to be. Next time a disappointment thought comes up change it to something more positive and take action to have fun – to do something you always wanted to do but didn’t get to do. Go dancing, play a sport, go camping, have an adventure. Do it. Do it. Do it.

If you are finding it difficult to choose to do things differently, to see the goodness around you, it can be because you still have emotional pain inside – be it sadness, anger or resentment. This creates stress and tension in your body.

It helps to release the stress and tension so that your body relaxes more, you feel lighter and then it is easier to do something different. While you are weighed down with the heavy baggage you feel sluggish, lethargic and like there’s no point trying, it’s too hard.

There are many ways to release stress and tension out of your body. One that I use and teach others is Tension and Trauma Release Exercises (TRE). TRE is literally a process for activating the body’s natural stress, tension and trauma releasing process. Your body will shake out all that no longer serves it over time, freeing you of the density and enabling you to lighten up and have fun. To see examples of TRE in use and to learn more about it visit the TRE page of my website.

The mundane can be made extraordinary when you release your stress and emotional pain, change your self-talk and subconscious programming.

bad attitude flat tire change itWho says your life should be any different? Why does life owe you more? Who do you think you are to know more than God? Your life was set before you incarnated. You chose the lessons you wanted to master and the people and situations to help you do so. It is all unfolding as it needs to and life brings you the events, people and situations to help you grow. When you accept this and flow with what is, life is much easier. It is only when we resist this, fight against it, etc, that we struggle. So let go of the struggle and flow with life. It really is okay to do so and you deserve it. You deserve to be happy and enjoy your life. Let go of expectations and accept what is. Choose to enjoy each day, to see the beauty all around you, to see the smile and joy of children, animals and nature. It is up to you – choose to see and feel the joy or choose the gloom and doom. You are harming yourself if you choose to stay stuck. You can move forward as soon as you are willing to let go of the past, be in the now, and take action to create the future you desire. You can do it. It is worth the effort. Blessed BE. Amen.

By Jodi-Anne (10 Sept 2015).

Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.

Why is mental illness increasing?

by Dr. Jodi-Anne M Smith, posted in Healing from child abuse, Health

hate and love selfThere are higher rates of mental illness in society as people are living more disconnected lives. Parents are busy working and earning money for possessions, they do not have the depth or quality time required for deep bonding with a child. Without the bonding children do not develop a strong sense of being loved, lovable, acceptable or okay. They are left wondering whether they are lovable or not. This is the seed of mental illness – this questioning of self, this doubt as to one’s acceptability or not. It leads to self hatred / abuse and less ability to connect deeply with others for fear of rejection and loss.

People therefore isolate themselves and feel lonely, cold, separate and this too is emotionally painful. All of these sad, negative feeling emotions get bottled up and become the dominant, most common feelings in their life experience. Naturally this low vibration state results in depression and passivity. The person feels stuck, unable to pull themselves out of the situation.

Poor diet makes the situation worse and can result in sugar and hormone imbalances. Lack of exercise also results in imbalances that could be easily rectified. Serotonin and other brain chemicals can be balanced naturally – rest, spend time in nature, nurture and love yourself. This is hard to do when you feel you don’t deserve love or aren’t worthy of it. It feels like a waste of time to try and improve when it feels so bad and overwhelming.

Clearly it is at the mental level and emotional level that most work needs to be done to clear up negative thinking and expectations and open up to love. The emotions need to be felt and released so the person can balance back up to their natural state of peace and joy. It is possible. They just have to do the healing/transformational work.

False chemicals can help in the short term e.g. antidepressants or hormones/brain chemicals. But it is better if the body heals itself and starts producing the required chemical itself. This can and does happen. Exercise increases levels of serotonin and other endorphins, diet can also influence it, as of course can changes in thinking. The body can rebuild itself.

You live at paces that your body was not designed for. The frantic busyness of modern life leads to stress, fatigue and burn out. More and more people are affected and when they can’t cope internally with the pressure of their life it gets called mental illness. However, the solution in most cases is simple – simplify your lives; heal your emotional pain; learn to love and accept who you are; learn to be the the kind parent to yourself that you needed when little; learn to laugh and play and accept what comes; let go of trying to control life or impress others. Be yourself. That is enough. Life wants you to be your authentic self – live from your heart – follow / act on your passions, be of service to all in your own unique way.

By liberating yourself from the rat race, you show others it can be done and that they also could choose to do it – to choose freedom, simplicity, health, deeper connection with self, others and the Earth. This is healthy. This is how you are meant to live. It is all about love. If children are conceived in love, raised with love, learn how to love and respect themselves, others and the Earth there would be lower rates of mental illness.

Yes the pollution of food, air, water, soil does have some impact, but it is relatively minor compared to the internal pollution from negative, self loathing thoughts and painful emotions locked inside. These eat away at your spirit, your zest for life and leave you feeling flat, exhausted and low – a recipe for lethargy, depression and therefore mental illness.

Have a spring clean of your internal closet and let go of the darkness. Let the light, bright, colourful aspects of yourself come to the fore. You truly can enjoy life more fully. You just have to clean out the old and make room for the new to enter and anchor into your vibration. You can heal all pains with time, energy, love and awareness.

See the bigger picture and purpose of life, realise that ‘negative’ events in your life occurred to help you grow and evolve and are leading you onto something greater in yourself that could not have been achieved without that event.

bad events 3 responsesLife is a mystery. Things happen. You can’t control it, but you can choose how you respond to it. You can choose to wallow in pain and regret and depression or choose to make the most of what you have and live life fully embracing all that comes your way – the choice is yours.

Mental illness or health is a choice in the sense that you can learn the skills to bring you back to balance, back to peace and joy.

Tension and Trauma Release Exercises (TRE) can help you to discharge the tension and stress in your body that has you on hyper alert. It can help your body and nervous system to calm down so that you can see more clearly rather than seeing through the lens of trauma and past experiences.

TRE can help set you free of the emotional pain and discharge it so that you can live in the now seeing life around you from a more open and positive perspective. While the pain and trauma is inside you it taints your view of the world and prevents you from relaxing, feeling safe and enjoying life more fully.

TRE can be done at home regularly to help you slowly, bit by bit to release the tension and flow more freely with life. If you have trouble moving through your emotions when they come up you may need to work with a TRE provider first for a little while so you can learn to self-regulate, but after that you can use it for free for the rest of your life as a tool to help you reduce stress, tension and trauma so you can live life more peacefully doing what you want in life.

You can’t control what happened in your past or what will occur in the future, but you can control how you respond to it and how you let it affect your life. Your reactions are your choice and you can change the way you react by altering your thoughts; altering your emotional balance inside; and by changing your expectations or core beliefs. There are many ways to do this. They are just skills to learn, that all of humanity would benefit from, so you could all live in peace and harmony.

By Jodi-Anne (31 July 2015).

Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.