Tag Archives: mental health

How to recover when someone you love commits suicide?

Chakra bannerWhen someone you love commits suicide it shatters your whole world. You wake up feeling like nothing will ever be the same again, and that’s true. It won’t be. Your life has been irrevocably altered.

grief-2571787_1920 (free Pixabay)You will have many, many moments of questioning “If only I’d done this….. if only I’d told him/her I loved them more…. If only I’d spent less time on my own goals and more with them”. Stop this. This is just torturing yourself. You can’t know the reasons why this has occurred. Even if a note was left it will only be part of the picture.

The truth is that this beautiful person was struggling to the depths of their core and couldn’t see a way out. They saw no other option than to leave their body as a way to end the pain.

Unfortunately that doesn’t work. You carry the pain with you to the afterlife and as a soul you reflect on your life, you see the pain you have caused others, you see where you could have chosen differently, and you feel all your regret, shame, anger, embarrassment and sadness over it all. You take the time to reflect, to realise, to learn and grow with the support of the Angels, Ascended Masters, your ancestors and Guides and then when you feel strong enough and ready you reincarnate into another lifetime with similar circumstances, so that you can choose differently.

You keep doing this until you find a way through, till you evolve or grow with love into Godlikeness, into mastery of that situation, that challenge and then life will bring you another lesson, another challenge to work on.

That is life. That is what it is all about. So the end of your current life is just one chapter in a very big book. It is not oblivion. It is not eternal damnation. It’s just a pause along the way that is the journey of that soul’s life.

So when someone you love has died by their own free will, there is nothing you can do to change the fact that it has occurred.

Your lesson, your challenge is to stay here too, to not give up, to not escape the pain through addiction or self-harm. Your challenge is to be loving and kind to yourself and others around you, while you all grieve and go through the stages of denial, questioning, bargaining, raging, grieving and accepting what has occurred. It is a process. It takes time, lots of time.

But to do it as gracefully as possible requires you to sit in stillness, to go within and feel your pain, to love and hold the parts of you that are struggling, to comfort yourself and give yourself the space you need to adjust to this change in your life. Cancel your to do list, rest and BE. Give to yourself the time and space you need.

Your loved one is still with you, watching over you in spirit. They see the pain they’ve caused, that is part of their lesson. They realise the damage they’ve done.

You can help them by helping yourself move through it as quickly as possible, and this happens when you are honest with yourself and them about how you feel. So have conversations with the deceased person. Close your eyes and imagine them in front of you, talk to them, hug them, hold them, empty out the grief in your heart, tell them all you need to say. You can tell them your ‘if only’s’ and see if they respond. They may tell you there is nothing you could have done.

When someone is stuck in that much darkness, even if someone comes in shining a light they can’t let it in. It seems too foreign, not a match, not a puzzle piece that can slot into place. No matter what you attempted, the same outcome would have occurred in this lifetime and the proof of that is it did occur, the person ended their life.

If we believe that God has a plan for us all, then we have to accept that suicide, as horrible as it is, is also a part of God’s plan. It is one of many dark choices that people face along with committing crimes, killing others, raping or torturing others, etc. There are many hard lessons that people go through, the challenge of resisting and doing their best.

Sometimes they get so depleted, so exhausted, so filled with a sense of hopelessness that they say “That’s enough for me this lifetime. Take me home. I will try again another time, but for now I’m done.” That is what suicide is. It is opening your arms up to God and saying “I can’t do this one, please bring me home to rest, to strengthen up, before I try again”. We all go through moments of despair. Some we find a way through. Some we don’t.

Suicide is not a massive sin as has been preached in the past. It is just a giving up on this game, this lifetime. It is not a finality, just a stepping stone in the journey and it will continue on.

Yes, the soul will have to work through all the pain leading up to the event and that which is caused to others afterwards. It’s not easy, but it is the redemption that leads to the growth, and there are celebrations on high when the soul finally does master the lesson and makes it through. Even if still only a partial joy in life, if they manage to keep living their life they will be led forth to find peace and happiness. It can take many lifetimes, but the person will always be supported along the way by their Guides, their higher self, and their Angels.

Try to understand suicide is not wrong. It’s unfortunate and unnecessary, but it is an option provided to us all if we feel we can’t proceed.

That person who is now in spirit will be okay, and what they long for is that you too will be okay, that you will find a way through to find peace and joy again in your own life.

They don’t want you to be damaged or adversely affected by their choice. Do something in honour of them so that you are growing and advancing, make a decision to live more fully, to honour your heart and its needs.

Use their experience to motivate you to live your life more fully, more beneficially for you and others. If you need to change jobs, move, travel, take a risk to let people close or to reach out when you sense someone is in pain, do it.

Do whatever you can to make something good come out of this experience, then you are creating a positive legacy as a result of your loved one’s choice and that pleases them, then they can relax knowing you are okay, and something good has come from it all. That reduces the burden they feel.

So if you want to help them, help yourself. Honour yourself and your needs. You will get through this. Just take it day by day and honour where you are at. Honour your needs. If you need to rest do so, the dishes can wait. It’s okay if the house is a little dirty, or you’re eating ‘take out’ for a while.

It’s okay to ask for help if you need it. Let family, friends, and/or a therapist be there to assist you on your path, as you learn to keep moving forward, to see that there is still goodness in this world and that you can find peace and happiness again. Blessed BE. Amen.

Channelled By Jodi-Anne (16 July 2019).

  • Jodi-Anne has the ability to ask and receive answers to questions about life. The information she receives comes from Spirit, Source, God, whatever you would like to call it. She is just the conduit receiving the message. Take what reads true for you and leave the rest. Each soul has their own truth, their own values and insights. This is just one messenger and the information she has received. Blessed BE.
  • Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.
  • If you found this blog useful you may wish to consider purchasing a copy of Jodi-Anne’s book ‘Advice from a higher Source’ which contains 85 answers to questions about life. The paperback book or ebook can be purchased online at – http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/JMS2011. (Once you have clicked into view the description of the book, go to the top of the page and choose the flag symbol for your country, this will show you the price in your currency and enable you to purchase it in that currency)

What is the most helpful thing to say or do for someone who is dying?

cropped-chakra-banner.jpgThis is a topic many of you struggle with. Finding out that someone you love is dying soon or slowly in pain, terrifies you all. It breaks your heart open and you feel temporarily lost as the normal layers of protection over the heart are dislodged. You feel vulnerable, exposed, scared, and lost. Many want to run and hide, put the defences back in place and forget the news that shocked them.

Others want to rush to the person to comfort them, to assist them, to be with them. Some do that. Some feel so awkward not knowing what the best thing to say is or to do. They feel frozen in terror unable to decide. This is shock. It is the freeze or immobilisation state. You need to calm and soothe your body, so it can relax back into its normal state, before you can be of use to yourself or the person who is dying.

The news which is always devastating serves as a catalyst shaking up all who hear it. It gets them to question how they are living their lives.

You automatically wonder what it would be like to have received a death sentence like that yourself or for it to occur to those you hold dearest – parents, partner, or children. You try it on in a sense. You try to imagine it or feel it. You do this as you are trying to make sense of the implications, trying to understand how the other person feels and how you can help.

Do not torture yourself guessing. Simply ask. You can say to the person “I’m having difficulty accepting the news. I’m so sorry you are going through it. I wish I could change it. Please tell me if there is anything I can do that would be useful for you. I don’t mind what it is. I just want you to know I love you and I’m sorry you are going through this.”

That is the truth of the matter. Don’t burden the person with how you feel or what it has brought up for you. Try not to put on a stoic face, emotionless and soldier on through an interaction with the person. They don’t need any coldness.

They need warmth, closeness, to know they matter, that they have made a difference in your life and that they will be missed. Helping them to feel loved, seen, accepted, and cherished is the best thing you can do.

Let go of your fears and just be there, if it is appropriate for you to do so. You can offer, but accept if the person says no, that they would prefer to spend their remaining time alone, or with their family and closest friends.

You don’t have to turn up on the door step and camp out. It isn’t necessary. You don’t have to feel guilty for living your life or having fun. You don’t have to sacrifice your wellbeing. It won’t help the other to live longer.

If you do notice yourself falling into unhelpful patterns, stop, listen within, and send love to the part of you that is scared, hurting or feeling vulnerable. Talk to that part of you and comfort them.

Remind them that you’re not in trouble here. You didn’t cause it. You can’t control it. And you can’t fix it. It’s not your responsibility, and it’s okay to be upset. Comfort that part of you and find peace with what is.

It’s okay to rage at the sky or God, to say how it seems unfair or you wish it was different. It’s healthy to let the emotion out. Whether its fear, anger, rage, sadness, despair, guilt for being healthy, etc. Just acknowledge what you feel inside and love those parts of you, so that you can come back into balance.

Know that in time it will be you or someone closest to you. Death happens to us all. We can’t prevent it, but we can choose to live our lives more fully, so that when death does come knocking, and it will, that we can open the door and smile saying “I’ve got no regrets. I’m ready. It’s okay you’re here.” To not fight against what is.

When it is your time, it is your time. No amount of begging, crying, bargaining will alter it. We all have an allotted amount of time here on Earth. We each have the choice of how we spend it; of how much love we share and how much good we do in the world. Do what feels right to you and celebrate your life.

Thank the person who is dying for all they have shown you, for being the catalyst for your healing and learning to love even when it’s painful.

Thank them for all you have done together and shared. Tell them your favourite memories of them and your time together. Help them to see the goodness of their life, to feel a sense of “Yes, I’ve used my time well. I have mattered. I have loved, and I’ve had some fun”.

Help them to celebrate their life so that they can ease into their transition more peacefully. Of course you can only do this if the person is willing. They may have anger, guilt, resentments, grief, etc. that they are working through. They may feel a victim, abandoned by God. They may be thinking it is unfair or refuse to even acknowledge their situation.

Some choose to soldier on living life as normally as they can, until they drop dead. Others decide to party, travel, make the most of their remaining time. Some have no choice, bedridden and in pain. We do not have control of what occurs and when. We only have a choice in how we respond to it.

Just talk to someone who is dying and accept where they are at, whatever stage of the mourning process they are in. Accept where they are at and be there as much as they want you to be. And celebrate your life, your time and your options.

Thank this beautiful person for reminding you that life is short and you need to use the time you have as wisely as you can. Thank them, love them and let them be however they choose to be. It’s their life. Their rapid process of clearing, realising, feeling, etc. as they wind down and close off from this lifetime.

Yes you can talk about what happens after death, but be respectful. Everyone has different beliefs. Some won’t want to talk about it, and some may be desperate to do so, wanting to prepare themselves for the next chapter.

Know that you are all taken care of. There are Angels, Guides, loved ones who are departed, who will meet the person when they cross over. Death is not the end. It is just a waking up out of the body and ego, back into the fullness of who you are.

Your higher self, soul self, is magnificent. Part of you has been on a journey here on Earth to learn and grow. You already have the fullness of life, but you step down into a body to experience it, to feel it, to go through duality.

earth-1375640_1920 (Pixabay free)

In the other realm there is love, fullness, oneness. There are no opposites. You come to Earth to experience the opposites, to feel loss and pain, and love and joy.

You come to Earth to advance your soul’s evolution and learning, through living out various experiences. Each lifetime you choose a different focus to explore and hopefully master. If you don’t, you come back again and have another go.

This is not the end of your friend’s life. It is just the end of this chapter. Her book has many, many chapters already lived and more to come. So don’t despair, know that what is meant to be will be. If she is to live longer she will, but if it is her time then that is final, but she will live on in your hearts and memories.

She will also live on in spirit as she explores the other realm, and eventually when she is ready she will choose to return to Earth to undertake her next adventure in duality. All is okay. Just accept what is and breathe through any emotions.

You know what to do. Just be as kind and patient and accepting as you can be, as everyone will be going through deep emotions as they adjust to the news, and work out what they want to do to assist this beautiful person in her final days on Earth. May you all find peace in your hearts. Blessed BE. Amen.

By Jodi-Anne (11 May 2019).

  • Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.
  • If you found this blog useful you may wish to consider purchasing a copy of Jodi-Anne’s book ‘Advice from a higher Source’ which contains 85 more answers to questions about life. The paperback book or ebook can be purchased online at – http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/JMS2011. (Once you have clicked into view the description of the book, go to the top of the page and choose the flag symbol for your country, this will show you the price in your currency and enable you to purchase it in that currency)

Jodi-Anne’s books and ebooks now available

JMS books Gold Buddha

These two channelled books contain insights on the healing journey that we are all on. We are all learning to love and accept ourselves, to let go of past hurts, and live in the NOW. We are all opening up to love, to feeling our emotions fully, and taking the risk to be seen, heard, and loved as our authentic self.

It feels vulnerable to risk showing who you truly are, to let go of your defence mechanisms and image, to say “This is who I really am. These are my strengths, my weaknesses, my fears. I’m not perfect, I’m human and I’m doing my best to be a healthy, happy person”. These books contain some of the tools I’ve used along the way in my healing journey. I hope you find them useful.

CoverThe healing journey demystified’ is my healing journey, along with advice on how to proceed through the many layers of emotional density, armouring, and protection mechanisms that form when you have suffered a challenging start to life. It also contains a summary of the stages of healing from child abuse and examples of actions you can use to heal.

‘Advice from a higher Source’ contains 85 answers to questions I’ve asked about life. The answers are channelled, downloaded from the Universe/God/Life/Whatever you want to call it. They are loving messages of support to help us through the challenging moments that we face. I’ve asked questions such as ‘How do you heal from the past and enjoy life?’, ‘What is our purpose?’, ‘How do you recognise when a relationship no longer serves you?’, ‘How do you accept the now, and not focus on past or future as the source of happiness?’ ‘Why do we have to go through so much pain?’ and many, many others.

CoverI randomly open it each morning and read the answer I’ve opened to. It amazes me how it is always the one most relevant to how I’m feeling at that time. This book gives us hope and understanding of what is occurring and why. It helps us to see the bigger picture unfolding on Earth, as we all consciously evolve into loving, heart-felt human beings.

Both books and ebooks can be purchased online at – http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/JMS2011. (To purchase in your country’s currency, once the link opens, go to the top of the page and choose the flag symbol for your country 😊😊😊)

Happy reading, many blessings, Jodi-Anne

What is an entanglement?

An entanglement is an enmeshment with another person that affects your ability to be yourself and do as you please. You are so caught up with the other person that your thoughts and feelings are tangled up with theirs. It is hard to know where you end and the other person starts, there is no boundary or separation, the two people are entwined, tangled together into one messy situation.

This comonly occurs when a child tries to take care of a parent. The child sensing the parent’s pain or inability to cope with their life, steps up and takes responsibility for helping reduce the burden on the parent. This is a reversal of the orders of love – parents are meant to give and children receive.

Happy kidsChildren are meant to grow focussed on life, play, having fun and age appropriate issues. It is not normal for a child to be thinking about adult problems and trying to solve them. But children will do this out of loyalty, out of love and out of a desire to stay safe and keep their home. No matter how dysfunctional or painful a child prefers to stay with its parent, rather than be taken away into the unknown, even if that unknown is a more loving home with other family members or foster parents.

Our loyalty to our biological parents is huge and stays with us our whole life. If we violate that bond, if we judge or reject our parents we feel a loss, an emptiness, a sadness deep inside, as the flow of love from the family line has been blocked. We are refusing to accept our parents and our life as it is. In essence we are saying ‘NO to life’ and we suffer as a result. The life force flowing to us is diminished as we are saying NO to our parents, NO to their love, NO to receiving any energy or support from them. We are saying “NO, you are not good enough, I wanted more, someone different to you”. This is fighting against life, fighting against what is. These are your parents for better or worse, they are your parents. They gave you life and if that is all they gave you it is a true gift. At the very least accept that, be grateful for that.

As we heal we can come to see our parents as not just ‘parents’, but as people with their own issues, challenges and emotional hurts. If we are trying to fix them, change them, influence them, we are still entangled. We are still caught up unhealthily over involved in their energy and trying to control life. This is like standing in front of a dam that is cracking and trying to order the water to stay there, not to move. It won’t work. As the dam cracks the water is going to gush forth, because that is what water does, gravity does.

Your parents have their own lives to lead and it is not our place to judge them or be overly involved in their business, to be entangled like this stops us from living our lives fully. It is best to accept your parents as they are, to say ‘YES to life’, YES to receiving whatever goodness you can get from them and to accept that as all they can give you, to say “That is enough. What you can’t give me I will get from elswhere. Thank you Mum, thank you Dad, you are enough”. When we can say this and mean it we are freed from the entanglement. The love strength and support from the family line can flow to us, helping us, supporting us to live more fully. We are accepting our place in life and letting ourselves receive the goodness from our family line.

Reaching that place of acceptance can be a long journey. It takes time to grieve what could have been, what you felt should have been and to accept what was and is. That is the journey of life. It is true and authentic emotional release work required until you do feel peaceful inside and accepting of your family.

You could choose to stay in judgement and anger over what has happened or hasn’t happened in your life, but this just punishes you and limits you and your ability to live life joyously. Best to untangle the web, to break free and accept what is and make the most out of it. This is one form of entanglement that can have a massive impact on a person’s life.

Another kind of entanglement occurs when a child takes on a burden for the ancestors present or ancient. It can be a sibling not wanting to live fully because they see their brother or sister afflicted with an illness or who died and they feel guilty for living or being able to do what the other could not. In essence they wish to join the lost sibling. This will result in poor health for themself or some other dysfunction in their lives, as in essence they are saying NO to life, NO to goodness, abundance, health and vitality. They are saying I don’t deserve this or I have no right to this. It is self sacrifice out of loyalty, out of love and entanglement with the fate of the other.

Instead of dying for the other choose to stay a while longer, choose to live fully for them, to do what they could not do, to achieve whatever you desire and to join them when it is your proper time. Whether it was a sibling who died young, your parent or your own child, you do not have to follow them into the grave. You can live and hold them in your heart, feel them in your heart. They are there, their energy is available to you. Your ancestors long dead watch you, pray for you and send you love. They want you to succeed and to advance the family line. It is okay to feel your sadness and to move through it back to peace and happiness.

Another type of entanglement which sounds a little more bizarre, occurs with past relatives whom you may not have even met. It is possible that a young woman having difficulties with infertility is actually entangled with a great Aunt who never married. The energetic connection is such that the present soul put up their hand to relate, to repeat the pattern that occurred in the family line. The same occurs with members of the family who suffered tragedies such as loss of a loved one, death, murder, suicide, etc. A present family member who is connected to the past ancestor may also have suicidal thoughts or mental health problems, they may have financial difficulties or other challenges in life.

Sometimes it is as if the current family member is atoning for the sins of the previous ancestor – they struggle to make up for the wrong doing of the other. In different situations it is as if the family member present today chooses the same fate out of love for the other, wanting to empathise with them. Either way it is not helpful to the present person and it hinders their ability to live their life fully.

When the entanglement is identified and healed the person is free to live how they like. They can consciously honour the past family member and their fate, but choose to be free of the entanglement now, with love and respect, bowing to the ancestor and leaving it with them. This is core Family Constellations work and it is beautful to watch these resolutions occur and people being freed from the knots that have bound them and limited their ability to enjoy their lives. With the knots untied they can walk forward easily to do what they wish, without hindrance. May we all walk freely and enjoy our lives. Blessed BE. Amen.

By Jodi-Anne (18 September 2016).
Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.

What to do when those you love are in pain?

It is very tempting when someone you love is in pain to want to try and fix it, to help them feel better, to make it go away, so you can enjoy each other’s company again. It is understandable that you would want to do this, for it is hard to see them in pain and not to feel pain yourself. But know you are not serving them if you try to distract them or if you get upset with them and they swallow the pain, so you feel better and won’t be upset with them any longer.

They need to feel, release and process their pain. They need to feel into its depths, express its impact on them, move through the emotions, back to a place of calm and peace. If you can’t allow them to do this, they stay stuck and so do you and your relationship.

So, how to stay strong in the face of someone else’s pain? Remember it is growth, and they will get through it. Remember it is temporary and will leave if you let them feel it fully into completion. Remember it is not all about you and that they need to go through this. Remember deep emotional pain can only be processed at a rate that the person’s body and consciousness can handle. It can’t be done all at once. It can’t be magicked away.

Telling them to go see a therapist to process it on their own, away from you, just blocks their flow more. Yes they could see a therapist and get help. They could take more action to heal and be, what you consider, as more responsible for their own healing. But remember they are not you. They are themselves and they need to find their own way.

Imagine how you would feel if you were in deep pain and someone told you to basically go away and only come back when you are in a good mood? You would feel unloved, uncared for and you would rebel, because it doesn’t feel right. You may get angry, stubborn and dig your heels in. The choice the other has made, makes it less likely you will get help and it distracts you from feeling the deep pain, because now you are preoccupied with being treated unfairly by one of the few people who you do trust and love and their reaction has you wondering whether or not that trust is unfounded.

As a partner it is true, you don’t want to be dragged down by a friend, family member or your partner’s bad moods. It can affect your ability to enjoy your own life. But it is probably only occurring occasionally and you too have the occasional bad day. How would you feel if they pulled away from you when you are feeling blue? It would hurt, wouldn’t it? What you really need at those times is a hug, is for someone to say “I’m sorry you are feeling sad, angry, whatever it is.” “I’m sorry you went through that, it has affected you deeply.” That is what the person needs most – to be loved, accepted, their feelings validated. They need to be heard. You don’t have to sit with them for hours listening to their story. You could, but you don’t have to. Just be supportive. Don’t make them feel wrong, bad, dumb for being upset. They have a right to feel the way they do. They may have lived through horrible circumstances.

Instead of hiding from the pain, honour it, allow it, accept it and let it transmute. When you fight against it, resist it, bottle it up, it has to explode out. If you give the person the space to feel how they feel it can come out more gently. So just love them, that is what is needed most. And what you need most is to support yourself, while you are supporting them. So you don’t become depleted, drained, and exhausted.

Sometimes it can feel as if being there for another drains all your positive energy away, you feel your vibration dropping, you feel yourself becoming annoyed, exhausted and flat. This is just your reaction to them. It is how you have chosen to respond. It may be you have reacted in fear – fear of their sadness or rage. It may be that you have reacted judgementally – thinking they shouldn’t do this to you or they should sort themelves out. You may have reacted wtih avoidance – wanting to escape and not be there. Any of these reactions create pain inside of you, and it is your pain that affects your energy levels, not what the other person is doing, saying or the energy they are emitting.

shine-your-lightIf you could meet their pain with love, if you could stand strong and shine your light into their darkness, if you could hold your focus on love and light and seeing the best in them, seeing them peaceful and happy, if you can just be with them and their energy and emotion, then your light would help liberate them. They could be freed from some of their burden and you could maintain your vibration and state of peace.

It is your internal reactions that affect how you feel after the interaction. So don’t hide or run away from people and isolate yourself. There is no need. Just work on being able to stay connected to Source while dealing with someone in emotional pain. Breathe deeply and stay present. Send love and light to your inner child and any parts of you that feel uncomfortable, tell yourself you are safe and it is okay. You can do all of this, while still being present for the other person.

Remember they are in pain, they are struggling to cope. They need your support and light to help lift them out of their darkness. Don’t trap them in it by refusing to be present, to look at their pain. Be there. Be strong and loving and supportive to both of you. A time will come when the tables are turned and you will need their support, you will need them to be there for you. Be that support for each other and your relationship can blossom and flourish. Fight against their pain and your relationship will wither and die.

Know that they are so much more than their pain. The pain is just a small part of who they are and it will get less and less if it is acknowledged, accepted and allowed to be there. Fight against it and it will get bigger, louder and more violent in its ways of getting attention and trying to get respect and acceptance. The choice is yours.

Work on your own reactions and choose peace and love and joy in the face of another’s pain, hold the vibration of love and you can stay balanced, even in the murkiest, darkest waters of Hell. For that is where a person is, who is in deep emotional pain. They feel consumed by it, trapped by it, unable to break free from it. They feel in Hell and if their thoughts plummet and become negative, it becomes a repetitive loop. They feel like they are floating in a small boat, down rivers of darkness, with no knowledge of how to get out or where they are going. They need someone to shine a light for them, so they can see more clearly a direction out of the caves of darkness and into the light of day. Be that light. Be that love and you can both enjoy life at deeper levels. Blessed BE, Amen.

By Jodi-Anne (15 May 2016).
Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.

Why is mental illness increasing?

hate and love selfThere are higher rates of mental illness in society as people are living more disconnected lives. Parents are busy working and earning money for possessions, they do not have the depth or quality time required for deep bonding with a child. Without the bonding children do not develop a strong sense of being loved, lovable, acceptable or okay. They are left wondering whether they are lovable or not. This is the seed of mental illness – this questioning of self, this doubt as to one’s acceptability or not. It leads to self hatred / abuse and less ability to connect deeply with others for fear of rejection and loss.

People therefore isolate themselves and feel lonely, cold, separate and this too is emotionally painful. All of these sad, negative feeling emotions get bottled up and become the dominant, most common feelings in their life experience. Naturally this low vibration state results in depression and passivity. The person feels stuck, unable to pull themselves out of the situation.

Poor diet makes the situation worse and can result in sugar and hormone imbalances. Lack of exercise also results in imbalances that could be easily rectified. Serotonin and other brain chemicals can be balanced naturally – rest, spend time in nature, nurture and love yourself. This is hard to do when you feel you don’t deserve love or aren’t worthy of it. It feels like a waste of time to try and improve when it feels so bad and overwhelming.

Clearly it is at the mental level and emotional level that most work needs to be done to clear up negative thinking and expectations and open up to love. The emotions need to be felt and released so the person can balance back up to their natural state of peace and joy. It is possible. They just have to do the healing/transformational work.

False chemicals can help in the short term e.g. antidepressants or hormones/brain chemicals. But it is better if the body heals itself and starts producing the required chemical itself. This can and does happen. Exercise increases levels of serotonin and other endorphins, diet can also influence it, as of course can changes in thinking. The body can rebuild itself.

You live at paces that your body was not designed for. The frantic busyness of modern life leads to stress, fatigue and burn out. More and more people are affected and when they can’t cope internally with the pressure of their life it gets called mental illness. However, the solution in most cases is simple – simplify your lives; heal your emotional pain; learn to love and accept who you are; learn to be the the kind parent to yourself that you needed when little; learn to laugh and play and accept what comes; let go of trying to control life or impress others. Be yourself. That is enough. Life wants you to be your authentic self – live from your heart – follow / act on your passions, be of service to all in your own unique way.

By liberating yourself from the rat race, you show others it can be done and that they also could choose to do it – to choose freedom, simplicity, health, deeper connection with self, others and the Earth. This is healthy. This is how you are meant to live. It is all about love. If children are conceived in love, raised with love, learn how to love and respect themselves, others and the Earth there would be lower rates of mental illness.

Yes the pollution of food, air, water, soil does have some impact, but it is relatively minor compared to the internal pollution from negative, self loathing thoughts and painful emotions locked inside. These eat away at your spirit, your zest for life and leave you feeling flat, exhausted and low – a recipe for lethargy, depression and therefore mental illness.

Have a spring clean of your internal closet and let go of the darkness. Let the light, bright, colourful aspects of yourself come to the fore. You truly can enjoy life more fully. You just have to clean out the old and make room for the new to enter and anchor into your vibration. You can heal all pains with time, energy, love and awareness.

See the bigger picture and purpose of life, realise that ‘negative’ events in your life occurred to help you grow and evolve and are leading you onto something greater in yourself that could not have been achieved without that event.

bad events 3 responsesLife is a mystery. Things happen. You can’t control it, but you can choose how you respond to it. You can choose to wallow in pain and regret and depression or choose to make the most of what you have and live life fully embracing all that comes your way – the choice is yours.

Mental illness or health is a choice in the sense that you can learn the skills to bring you back to balance, back to peace and joy. You can’t control what happened in your past or what will occur in the future, but you can control how you respond to it and how you let it affect your life. Your reactions are your choice and you can change the way you react by altering your thoughts; altering your emotional balance inside; and by changing your expectations or core beliefs. There are many ways to do this. They are just skills to learn, that all of humanity would benefit from, so you could all live in peace and harmony. May it be so. AMEN.

By Jodi-Anne (31 July 2015).

Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.