How to know when leaving is your best option?

Many of you on the healing path are committed to loving fully. You do your best to love unconditionally and to accept those around you as they are.

You try to ignore when people behave in less than ideal ways and love them through it, knowing they only lash out, shut down, are moody, or whatever it is, because they are hurting inside.

You know love heals all things so you shine, shine, shine your love at the person hoping it will help them shift out of their stuckness, back to happiness. This is honourable, but you shouldn’t keep doing it to your own detriment.

Each individual has to feel their emotional pain into completion. They have to make the effort to go within, feel it, embrace their younger selves who are hurting, help free them from the pain, and welcome them into their heart. No amount of your love can do that for them.

The individual has to do the work to heal. If they don’t all that you are doing is lifting them up slightly, but they’re going to fall back down again. They have to, in order to go into their pain and process it.

Life will keep bringing them challenging situations to get them to feel, heal and release the past. If they try to avoid it, or blame others or their circumstances, they are just prolonging the misery.

We know you want to help them through it, but you can’t do it for them. By staying all you are doing is exhausting yourself, and having your vibration lowered by their dense energy and moods.

Yes, the other is an innocent soul that is hurting. That’s true. We understand you want to look after them, help them, care for them. But if they’re not looking after themselves, not honouring who they are and making the effort to heal, then you’re wasting your time.

You are better off to leave, let your vibration rise higher and shine your light wherever you go, knowing it benefits all. And those who want to heal, who want to go within and do the work to free themselves – they will uplift you, inspire you and cheer you up as they progress.

You benefit from helping them as it fills you with joy to see their progress, to see them getting happier and more fulfilled. It’s a win-win situation, where both are benefitting.

You don’t have to stay connected to people whose energy or behaviour drains you. You owe it to yourself and to those you work with to leave, so you can shine more brightly for all.

The person may struggle and drop further into pain if you leave, but that’s not your fault or your responsibility. It’s actually your gift to them, as it will help them feel and release their pain. It may be the catalyst they need to help them move forward.

So trust your inner guidance. Trust the Universe to look after the other if you go. Trust that everything happens for the benefit of both parties. Trust you will be led forth to your next adventure, to the next scenario to deepen your growth, as will the other.

Don’t hold yourself in pain out of love and loyalty. Sometimes it is meant to end. You are meant to go. You know the truth of this in your heart. You are just finding the courage to hear it, accept it, and act upon it. Blessed BE. Honour yourself and shine your light for the good of all.

Channelled By Jodi-Anne (8 January 2020).

  • Jodi-Anne has the ability to ask and receive answers to questions about life. The information she receives comes from Spirit, Source, God, whatever you would like to call it. She is just the conduit receiving the message. Take what reads true for you and leave the rest. Each soul has their own truth, their own values and insights. This is just one messenger and the information she has received. Blessed BE.
  • Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.
  • If you found this blog useful you may wish to consider purchasing a copy of Jodi-Anne’s book ‘Advice from a higher Source’ which contains 85 answers to questions about life. The paperback book or ebook can be purchased online at – http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/JMS2011. (Once you have clicked into view the description of the book, go to the top of the page and choose the flag symbol for your country, this will show you the price in your currency and enable you to purchase it in that currency)

How do you let go of someone you love?

The time comes in every relationship where you start to question whether there is potential for continued love and growth, or whether it is time to separate and expand your wings.

Sometimes the answer is obvious. If there is hurt, suffering, cruelty, abuse, or more subtly if there is disrespect, lack of love and nurturance, lack of support and care for each other. In these situations separation is warranted as the two souls are no longer energetically supporting each other to grow.

It is trickier to ascertain the ‘right’ move when there is love, respect, support and care, but it just no longer feels like a useful connection, when it feels like walking through mud or uphill. There’s nothing particularly bad or wrong, it just feels heavy instead of uplifting, joyful and celebrating life.

If your relationship feels like it is winding down, petering out, closing off, if it feels like it is closing, completing, finishing, then energetically the separation has started. Your ego is fighting against it, because it loves the person. Your situation may be safe, comfortable, known and easy, but your soul wants you to explore more, to grow, to experience new things.

When this is occurring it is tempting to fight back, to say no, to say “I love this person so much, please don’t make me leave.” But the more you resist, the more you suffer.

Your energy will take you where you need to go, and if it is away from that person, then it will occur, if that is what is most in line with your highest good.

Instead of fighting against it, celebrate what you’ve shared. Celebrate all the growth, love, joy and care that you’ve shared. Celebrate the good times, the challenging times and all that has occurred in between.

Yes, your world is changing. Yes, you are moving on and you don’t want to let go, but you will need to. Trust it is also in line for the highest good of the other person. If it wasn’t, it wouldn’t be happening. Trust that even if the other person doesn’t want to let go either, that there’s a reason for it.

Of course you want to hold on if it feels safe, comfortable, known. But there’s more out there, more growth, more situations that will help you evolve and reach your highest potential.

Sometimes staying is not the best option on a higher level, bigger picture perspective. Yes there’s love, respect, care and support, but is there a spark, an aliveness, an excitement, a joy and vitality between you? Do you light up inside when you see the person and spend time together? Do you laugh and bring out the best of each other, while also listening heart to heart to each other when feeling challenged? Are you both growing, looking within and doing your inner work? Or are you just standing still, being together, because it’s easier, less risk, less effort?

It’s perfectly okay to leave, to walk away, to separate, to let go of the known and enter the unknown. You just have to find the courage to turn around and walk away, to take one step after the other, to get used to being outside of your comfort zone and to move forward alone.

It is not wrong to leave. You are not punishing the other or rejecting them. You are simply saying goodbye as the connection no longer nourishes you, fills you up or leads to joy and happiness for you.

There’s no need to make the other person wrong, bad or deem them not good enough. No need for stories to justify what is occurring. Just accept, it simply isn’t serving you anymore and it is time to part. You can separate with love, with purity, with honesty. You can separate with excitement and joy for the new.

You are not being disloyal. You are just honouring your inner impulses which are moving you in a different direction. Each will face challenges as they open to the new and learn to be on their own again or with a new partner when the time is right. The Universe will orchestrate what each needs and look after you both.

Don’t hold on out of fear for your partner’s welfare without you. Take a deep breath and let go. Trust life to lead them forth to what they need too. Trust life to help them continue to grow and evolve too. Trust life to look after you both and relax.

If it feels inevitable, like you don’t really have a choice, then know your intuition and clarity is guiding you forward, helping you walk where you are reluctant to go. It’s okay. Surrender. Let what needs to happen occur.

You can say goodbye with love and move forward with joy. It doesn’t have to be tragic or painful or dark. Just accept what is. Let it occur naturally and easily, for it can. You are just two souls that have supported each other’s growth and now it is time to venture forth alone, in separate directions, as each grows and evolves on the path most suited for that individual.

Image by John Hain from Pixabay

So celebrate the love, the growth, the time shared together and move forward with peace in your heart, knowing all is well and much goodness will come from this change for both of you. Much goodness comes to you both as you step forward into the next phase of your life and go your separate ways.

Be gentle with yourself and the other as you go through this process. Part of you may get angry and push the person away, as that then feels easier, better, if you have a reason to go. There’s no need to create any drama or conflict. Just face facts.

“I love you, but I no longer want to be with you. I feel our lives are moving in separate directions. Thankyou for loving me and sharing the time with me, but it feels like it is coming to an end. Please let me go with love, so we can both move forward knowing we are cared for and supported in our evolution and growth. You are a beautiful human being and I wish you well. Go forth with love, with my blessing and gratitude for who you are and all we’ve shared. Goodbye and good luck with all you do”. So be it. Amen.

That is all that is needed, an honouring of what has been and a willingness to move forward into what will be. Know that you will both prosper, both love again, both be okay. Trust in this and choose peace for everything truly is okay.

It is just the crumbling of your known space, your foundations, so that something new and magnificent can rise from the ashes. Trust in your transformation and know the other will grow too. Everything that happens does so the souls involved grow and evolve.

It’s okay for you to leave, even if the other is upset, hurt, or angry. Trust God to look after them. Trust life to guide them forth. You can’t hold their hand and look after them forever. You have to let them go and grow on their own.

It’s just like letting go of your adult children when they leave home. You need to let them explore life on their own and you need to turn away to focus on your own life and fill the void that is created with the separation, with love, peace and acceptance of what is.

You will be fine. Trust in life to lead you forth. Your heart will hold your hand. You are not alone. There is great love and support showering down around you from the Universe, your Guides, ancestors, the Angels and Archangels who watch your progress and smile, as you close the door on your past, on your known life, and open to the new.

Open the door and walk through. Great goodness awaits you as you walk forward with love into the new. Know you can cope with any challenges that occur. You can breathe through any pain or emotions that arise, and you can give love, joy and support to yourself and your inner child. You can be that loving partner to yourself. You can be that for you. You are enough.

You don’t need to cling to someone who loves you if the situation no longer serves you. Let go with love and move forward courageously into the unknown, into freedom and growth. You can do it. And you will when the time is right. Blessed BE. Amen. All is well, truly it is.

Channelled By Jodi-Anne (13 August 2019).

  • Jodi-Anne has the ability to ask and receive answers to questions about life. The information she receives comes from Spirit, Source, God, whatever you would like to call it. She is just the conduit receiving the message. Take what reads true for you and leave the rest. Each soul has their own truth, their own values and insights. This is just one messenger and the information she has received. Blessed BE.
  • Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.
  • If you found this blog useful you may wish to consider purchasing a copy of Jodi-Anne’s book ‘Advice from a higher Source’ which contains 85 answers to questions about life. The paperback book or ebook can be purchased online at – http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/JMS2011. (Once you have clicked into view the description of the book, go to the top of the page and choose the flag symbol for your country, this will show you the price in your currency and enable you to purchase it in that currency)

What is the most helpful thing to say or do for someone who is dying?

cropped-chakra-banner.jpgThis is a topic many of you struggle with. Finding out that someone you love is dying soon or slowly in pain, terrifies you all. It breaks your heart open and you feel temporarily lost as the normal layers of protection over the heart are dislodged. You feel vulnerable, exposed, scared, and lost. Many want to run and hide, put the defences back in place and forget the news that shocked them.

Others want to rush to the person to comfort them, to assist them, to be with them. Some do that. Some feel so awkward not knowing what the best thing to say is or to do. They feel frozen in terror unable to decide. This is shock. It is the freeze or immobilisation state. You need to calm and soothe your body, so it can relax back into its normal state, before you can be of use to yourself or the person who is dying.

The news which is always devastating serves as a catalyst shaking up all who hear it. It gets them to question how they are living their lives.

You automatically wonder what it would be like to have received a death sentence like that yourself or for it to occur to those you hold dearest – parents, partner, or children. You try it on in a sense. You try to imagine it or feel it. You do this as you are trying to make sense of the implications, trying to understand how the other person feels and how you can help.

Do not torture yourself guessing. Simply ask. You can say to the person “I’m having difficulty accepting the news. I’m so sorry you are going through it. I wish I could change it. Please tell me if there is anything I can do that would be useful for you. I don’t mind what it is. I just want you to know I love you and I’m sorry you are going through this.”

That is the truth of the matter. Don’t burden the person with how you feel or what it has brought up for you. Try not to put on a stoic face, emotionless and soldier on through an interaction with the person. They don’t need any coldness.

They need warmth, closeness, to know they matter, that they have made a difference in your life and that they will be missed. Helping them to feel loved, seen, accepted, and cherished is the best thing you can do.

Let go of your fears and just be there, if it is appropriate for you to do so. You can offer, but accept if the person says no, that they would prefer to spend their remaining time alone, or with their family and closest friends.

You don’t have to turn up on the door step and camp out. It isn’t necessary. You don’t have to feel guilty for living your life or having fun. You don’t have to sacrifice your wellbeing. It won’t help the other to live longer.

If you do notice yourself falling into unhelpful patterns, stop, listen within, and send love to the part of you that is scared, hurting or feeling vulnerable. Talk to that part of you and comfort them.

Remind them that you’re not in trouble here. You didn’t cause it. You can’t control it. And you can’t fix it. It’s not your responsibility, and it’s okay to be upset. Comfort that part of you and find peace with what is.

It’s okay to rage at the sky or God, to say how it seems unfair or you wish it was different. It’s healthy to let the emotion out. Whether its fear, anger, rage, sadness, despair, guilt for being healthy, etc. Just acknowledge what you feel inside and love those parts of you, so that you can come back into balance.

Know that in time it will be you or someone closest to you. Death happens to us all. We can’t prevent it, but we can choose to live our lives more fully, so that when death does come knocking, and it will, that we can open the door and smile saying “I’ve got no regrets. I’m ready. It’s okay you’re here.” To not fight against what is.

When it is your time, it is your time. No amount of begging, crying, bargaining will alter it. We all have an allotted amount of time here on Earth. We each have the choice of how we spend it; of how much love we share and how much good we do in the world. Do what feels right to you and celebrate your life.

Thank the person who is dying for all they have shown you, for being the catalyst for your healing and learning to love even when it’s painful.

Thank them for all you have done together and shared. Tell them your favourite memories of them and your time together. Help them to see the goodness of their life, to feel a sense of “Yes, I’ve used my time well. I have mattered. I have loved, and I’ve had some fun”.

Help them to celebrate their life so that they can ease into their transition more peacefully. Of course you can only do this if the person is willing. They may have anger, guilt, resentments, grief, etc. that they are working through. They may feel a victim, abandoned by God. They may be thinking it is unfair or refuse to even acknowledge their situation.

Some choose to soldier on living life as normally as they can, until they drop dead. Others decide to party, travel, make the most of their remaining time. Some have no choice, bedridden and in pain. We do not have control of what occurs and when. We only have a choice in how we respond to it.

Just talk to someone who is dying and accept where they are at, whatever stage of the mourning process they are in. Accept where they are at and be there as much as they want you to be. And celebrate your life, your time and your options.

Thank this beautiful person for reminding you that life is short and you need to use the time you have as wisely as you can. Thank them, love them and let them be however they choose to be. It’s their life. Their rapid process of clearing, realising, feeling, etc. as they wind down and close off from this lifetime.

Yes you can talk about what happens after death, but be respectful. Everyone has different beliefs. Some won’t want to talk about it, and some may be desperate to do so, wanting to prepare themselves for the next chapter.

Know that you are all taken care of. There are Angels, Guides, loved ones who are departed, who will meet the person when they cross over. Death is not the end. It is just a waking up out of the body and ego, back into the fullness of who you are.

Your higher self, soul self, is magnificent. Part of you has been on a journey here on Earth to learn and grow. You already have the fullness of life, but you step down into a body to experience it, to feel it, to go through duality.

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In the other realm there is love, fullness, oneness. There are no opposites. You come to Earth to experience the opposites, to feel loss and pain, and love and joy.

You come to Earth to advance your soul’s evolution and learning, through living out various experiences. Each lifetime you choose a different focus to explore and hopefully master. If you don’t, you come back again and have another go.

This is not the end of your friend’s life. It is just the end of this chapter. Her book has many, many chapters already lived and more to come. So don’t despair, know that what is meant to be will be. If she is to live longer she will, but if it is her time then that is final, but she will live on in your hearts and memories.

She will also live on in spirit as she explores the other realm, and eventually when she is ready she will choose to return to Earth to undertake her next adventure in duality. All is okay. Just accept what is and breathe through any emotions.

You know what to do. Just be as kind and patient and accepting as you can be, as everyone will be going through deep emotions as they adjust to the news, and work out what they want to do to assist this beautiful person in her final days on Earth. May you all find peace in your hearts. Blessed BE. Amen.

By Jodi-Anne (11 May 2019).

  • Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.
  • If you found this blog useful you may wish to consider purchasing a copy of Jodi-Anne’s book ‘Advice from a higher Source’ which contains 85 more answers to questions about life. The paperback book or ebook can be purchased online at – http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/JMS2011. (Once you have clicked into view the description of the book, go to the top of the page and choose the flag symbol for your country, this will show you the price in your currency and enable you to purchase it in that currency)

What does it mean to celebrate life? How do we celebrate life?

To celebrate life means to bask in the beauty of nature, to be in awe of life and its mysteries. To see the growth and goodness everywhere, to celebrate diversity and the evolution of consciousness occurring.

See the acts of goodness, kindness and growth that is occurring throughout society, see the love that is spreading, expanding, evolving. Let go of that which you judge as bad or negative, see it all as a part of the evolution and growth in society, all of it is needed. The tragedies break people’s defenses down and get them to feel, it opens their hearts back up, it serves a purpose. It isn’t bad, it is needed.

To celebrate life means to enjoy the little things, the butterflys floating by, the clouds, the rusting of the leaves on the trees. It is a celebration of what is, a being present to all that is around you and being grateful for what is and isn’t in your life. It is a knowing that you have what you need, life provides, harvests grow, short falls lead to connections and supply from others, it leads to community, to pulling together, to growth in love and connection.

Everything you need is provided, what you don’t have you don’t need at this point in your journey. There are no mistakes, all happens to help you grow, heal and evolve. Celebrate that. Let go of your judgement, your resentment, your hate and comparisons. You are all children of God, all supplied for, all taken care of. You are all here to learn your unique lessons through your unique experiences, chosen before you incarnated.

There are no accidents, no mistakes, no favouritism or luck. It is all preplanned, predetermined, and just playing out as it is needed for your evolution and growth. We are all characters in each other’s stories, our plays of life. We all serve a purpose and are here to help and support each other. Live your life, enjoy your life, be simple, do simple things, enjoy the moment.

Don’t complicate life with busyness or over thinking. Savour the stillness, appreciate what is and trust that whatever is coming is for your highest good, no matter what it looks like. Even harsh lessons lead to brighter days. So love, appreciate, give thanks and trust, that is how you celebrate life and honour all that is.

Many of you are way too serious, way too focused on material things and success, your life is passing you by, your heart is calling out to you – feel, feel me, listen to me, hear my call. Take time to listen, to sit quietly and hear the messages of your heart. It will guide you forth to greater peace, enjoyment and happiness. You don’t have to figure it out with your mind. Listen to your body, it will tell you what to do.

Your body holds all the residue from the past. When you release that it is much easier to be present to now, to feel peaceful and happy, contented with what is – to celebrate life. Tension and Trauma Release Exercises (TRE) can help you to release the old residue from traumas and challenges of the past. You literally shake out the stress, tension and trauma, calming your nervous system and body. It helps you to unwind, destress, relax and be more peaceful within. In that relaxed state it’s easier to have fun interacting witih others as your body is no longer in a state of fight, flight or freeze. It’s relaxed, open to interacting and to connecting with others, with life and all there is available to us. That is how you celebrate life – by being open and grateful for all the blessings available and making the most of it.

By Jodi-Anne M Smith (21 March 2017).
Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.

Celebrating life – how to do it?

To celebrate life is to honour and accept all that is. It is to say thank you for all that has been, is and will be. It is saying thank you for all of it. I accept it. I honour it. I allow it to be my truth. I stop fighting against what is. I stop resenting what was. And I stop trying to force what is to come to be what I want. I accept God has a plan for my life and what I need most will come. Life will bring me what I need, so I heal, so I grow, so I evolve into a loving being of high vibration and can be of greatest service while I am here on Earth.

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Celebrating life is acknowledging life knows best. It all happens without my effort, my struggle. I can just relax and enjoy the ride whatever comes, knowing it is needed and meant to occur. The pleasant and unpleasant events, all come for a reason and I ride through them without judgement, without attachment, without misery – my thoughts are calm and accepting of what is – so I don’t feel misery or create drama.

When triggered I use the tools I have learned to process the internal reaction and return to peace. I use my breath to calm my body. I use Tension and Trauma Release Exercises (TRE) to release any stress, tension and trauma. And I talk to and hold the younger me who is in pain or who has surfaced related to the trigger and needs reassurance that she is safe, loved, cared for and seen. I give myself the nurturance I need and sing through the day knowing all is well and I am being led forth by the Universe, through good and seemingly bad challenges that lead to my growth and evolution. Thank you, Universe for looking after me. I have faith that all is working out for my highest good, so I relax, trust, play, knowing all is well in the bigger scheme of life.

Instead I celebrate life. I celebrate the diversity of experiences, the learning, the greater self-awareness and the connection to spirit. I feel the vibration in and around me. I sense the love and beauty in all things. I see God’s touch wherever I go and I know I am guided forth to create my best life, to experience all that I can to evolve and grow while here on Earth.

I celebrate life and sing, not because I got my way or things worked out how I wanted because they have not. I sing because I am free. Free of the tyranny of judgement and fear, free from the misery and drama of questioning and controlling. Free from the pain of feeling stuck, lost, fearful.

I celebrate and sing because I am resting in the arms of the divine, knowing I am held and supported, knowing I walk the Earth with an army of supportive Angels and Guides walking by my side, urging me on into the unknown, into the depths of my heart and soul, into greatness, into wholeness, into unity with Self, God, life, with all there is, recognising, feeling and embodying oneness. I celebrate the lack of separation, isolation, loneliness. I celebrate the oneness that is our true nature and the acceptance of self and life that has finally occurred.

I enjoy each day, waiting to see what will occur, what growth will result, what greater freedom will occur due to healing whatever is triggered this day by the people, things, places, times and events I experience. I trust it is all leading me forth to achieve my highest potential, to embody my higher self on Earth. Such a gift, such an opportunity. For these gifts I am grateful and I celebrate life. Amen.

By Jodi-Anne (17 Dec 2015).

Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.