Personal Development

How to accept the now and not focus on past or future as the source of happiness

Many people are trapped in the past. “I enjoyed life when I was ……., why can’t it be like that again? Why did it have to change?” This is victim thinking. You can’t change what happened, but you can create a life you enjoy now. Let go of resentment, regret, fear and loss by living NOW. Do something you enjoy, rather than wallowing in your mind and on your own. Go outdoors and sing, enjoy your life. It is up to you.

Similarly many people are trapped in the future, always thinking about what will be, what is yet to come, this prevents them living life fully as they are so preoccupied with the future that they don’t take action now. This is pointless. It wastes the now with day dreaming. If your day dreaming feels good and inspires you then it is beneficial, a part of manifesting your desires and bringing them closer to you. But if your day dreaming leaves you sad, longing for what could be and not enjoying or happy with now, then it is detrimental.

There is no guarantee that the future you envision will occur like you want it to, and even if it does, it may not be the perfect panacea you imagine. Life will always have challenges. You just have to move through them and choose to make the best out of every situation you face.

pause be happyTo be happy you need to acknowledge and accept what is. You need to be grateful for all that you do have, rather than resentful because you don’t have what you want most. What you want will come when you clear out your resistance and raise your vibration, so you match the vibration of your desired item, person, place or thing. It can come when you are open fully to love, to receiving, to acceptance and harmony. It won’t come while you are sulky, sad, resentful, bored, glum, depressed, etc. See this. Wallowing in self pity does not move you closer to your goals. You need to train yourself to be happy with now and hopeful of what is to come. But most importantly happy with now.

How do you do that if you are currently unhappy with now? Make gratitude lists, see the benefits of now. You have a home, food to eat, a job to do, friends and may be a partner. You may have pets or family who you love and enjoy spending time with, a sport or a hobby you enjoy doing, there is nature to explore. There are many benefits / blessings all around you. You just have to focus on all of these gifts and accept the now as enough. “I am satisfied with my life”. “I make the most of my life”. “I enjoy my now, every moment”. “I accept my now and what is occurring in my life”. “I accept my life and trust in my future”. “I focus on the now, knowing that is all I need to do”. You don’t have to make the future happen. It will come automatically. There are many core beliefs / thinking patterns to change and replace with the examples given above. It really is about loving what is, not fighting against it.

Your happily ever after is a myth, there will always be challenges and growth occurring. Life is about evolutionary growth and awakening to the light, learning to be peaceful and content in all situations. If you are not content now it just shows you the potential growth you are yet to achieve.

Life does not need to be hard. You do not have to struggle or feel you have missed out on so many things. This is all just flawed thinking. You have experienced exactly what you were meant to experience. You have what you most need to support your growth and evolution. The Universe delivers the people, situations, places and experiences you need to evolve. It occurs without your active involvement. It is like a movie, the destination is preset and is just unfolding around you, revealing itself to you in each moment.

Let go of the struggle and fight, accept what is. Do this by consciously catching yourself whenever you are thinking unhelpful thoughts. Deliberately think positive, supportive thoughts – reprogram your subconscious mind so these are your default thinking patterns. There are many ways to do this – Psych-K, Lifeline Technique, affirmations, etc. Do it so that you do not have to work so hard all the time. Then you can flow with life and accept what is. Life can be a blissful party if you accept it fully and ride the wave of whatever comes. Just accept and move through every situation that comes, trusting there is a reason for it, some evolutionary growth in it. Life just happens. There are no mistakes and no wasted moments. It is all helping you move forward in life.

past-future-thinking-worrying-present-33596555You can fight against it, but it won’t change what occurs, just your experience of it. So choose to enjoy it as much as you can. You are only harming yourself with your thoughts and decreasing your joy and vitality. Choose to enjoy every moment. It is up to you and you can do it. It is a choice, a practice to develop and do so much that it becomes habit and automatic to you, like driving a car. It took a lot of effort, focus and remembering / practicing to drive a car safely and smoothly, but after a while it becomes natural, automatic. You need to do the same with your thinking patterns until they become automatically positive and helpful in creating a joyous experience of the now, of each moment in your life. That is what is needed to let go of focusing on the past or future as your place of happiness.

There is no magic cure. You have to make the effort to change your thinking patterns and take actions to create a more enjoyable experience of now. Do a hobby, visit friends, have fun. Don’t just sit at home wishing it was different. Take action to change your experience of life and be grateful for all you have and all that is to come. Trust God/The Universe to bring you perfect experiences without you having to force it / beg it / make it happen. Life wants you to evolve and will bring you what is needed. Trust in that and relax. Enjoy life now. It is up to you. Blessed BE. Amen.

By Jodi-Anne (20 Sept 2015).

Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.
Healing from child abuse Health

Everything you think you know about addiction is wrong

I love this video by Johann Harri. In it he explains that the opposite of addiction isn’t sobriety, it is connection. We all need to feel connected to others, to belong, to be loved and accepted as we are. Without that we look for that connection in things or substances.

Healing from child abuse Relationships

Why is the urge to fix others so strong?

When a person has been deeply wounded, they will project that wound out onto others. They will see others as wounded and in need of fixing. When in truth it is themselves that need healing.

Because of the depths of the pain, a person will see wounds everywhere, they will feel the pain of others – it is like they can see it, feel it, smell it. They don’t want to be in it all the time, so they try to fix people or run away, so they don’t have to be surrounded by pain. But you can’t run away from what is inside you. It always goes with you.

Some people are more sensitised to it than others. If you were raised in an abusive home, you learned to watch others closely, to see their dynamics and watch for danger. You could see their pain and see when it would burst out to attack others. You learned to do this to help yourself survive and not be in danger. You focused on the pain of others to protect yourself from their outbursts. In this sense it was a good skill that you developed. However, the habit of watching and feeling other people’s pain never got switched off. So now as an adult, you still see people’s pain and fear it will result in an emotional attack at some stage. So you stay on high alert inside and feel threatened by their pain. This is why you try to fix others, so you can relax and not have to be on guard all the time. That is your own issue. There is no danger. Other people, most people, are capable of managing their pain and not having it burst out and affect others.

It is only because of your past experience as a child in a volatile, abusive home, where your parents didn’t cope with their emotional pain, that you fear it all the time. Alcoholics in particular are known for lashing out with their pain. The drink inhibits their ability to manage the pain and their reactions to it.

Once drunk the pain and their sadness or anger about it comes spilling out and it may get projected onto all those around them. It can be overwhelming as the person has a massive release, a let go of their built up pain. However, because they don’t work through it, they don’t have any insights or forgiveness, it just happens again and again. The pain builds inside them until it topples over the edge and then cascades like a water fall from them to their surroundings.

People who don’t drink excessively, generally don’t react that same way. They can sense the emotions building up and do something constructive to release or manage them. most can heal themselves or at least not explode out affacting others.

The problem with children of alcoholics is they are used to seeing the pain of others as a danger sign, a warning to be careful and watch out. They don’t trust the other to handle it responsibly. Clearly the issue here is this high alertness and expectation of abuse – for that is what the urge to fix others really is. It is as if you have decided that you can’t relax or feel safe unless all the others are okay. Hence you see the problem as them and their behaviour, instead of recognising it as your own issue and wounding that needs resolving.

Once you have resolved your own pain and retrained yourself not to react in advance or expect the worst, then you can relax and be happy. The fixing that is needed is of yourself, not others.

Once you heal the pain in yourself you will not be so affected by others or care about their pain. You will happily live your life doing what you need to do and trust them to resolve their own issues without your help. They don’t need you to rescue them. You need to rescue yourself. The urge to fix others shows you are still drowning in pain from the past or outdated belief systems and defense mechanisms that are no longer needed. Thank them for keeping you safe in the past, and reassure your inner chld and those protective parts of you, that their efforts aren’t needed now. You are safe. You are an adult and you can walk away from anyone who did abuse you.

You are not a child trapped in an abusive, scary, volatile, unpredictable home any more. If you don’t do the work to heal yourself you react as if you are still living in that dangerous home, even though you left it many years, even decades before.

The feelings of pain and the need to protect yourself by watching others and attempting to manipulate situations so explosions don’t occur – is so strong that it will stay with you your whole life – unless you explain to the guard dog that the danger has past. You can take off the armour, put down the sword and relax. It is time to do it. Time to have fun and play.

nature-love-wallpapers-widescreen-6Ultimately that is what we want – for you to play and have fun, and for you to have reprogrammed your subconscious beliefs so that you expect goodness, love and support from others. You feel peace and joy when others approach you, rather than angst and fear. It is your inner work you need to focus on, not what the other is doing. That is their business to resolve and action. Yours is yours. Focus where you can make the most change – in yourself. Do that work and be a positive role model for society – of healing, wholeness and love – that is what we need, more people who have done the inner work and can role model it for others.

Others will heal themselves, when the time is right. That is not up to you or set by your standards or expectations. Let people off the hook. Love them as they are. Support them to grow in their own way and time. Let go of control and choose peace, for it really does exist. It is just a choice you need to make. Blessed BE. Amen.

By Jodi-Anne (12 Sept 2015).

Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.
Healing from child abuse Health Parenting

Childhood trauma leads to brains wired for fear

This is a great article posted on ‘Side Effects Public Media’ website explaining the impact of childhood trauma on a child’s developing brain.

brains wired for fear

Article – chilldhood trauma leads to brains wired for fear

Personal Development

Crystal light bed treatments

John of God Crystal Healing Beds

A crystal light bed is a device enabling deep cellular healing that enables the release of buried emotions and issues that block a person from awakening to all they can become.

Through raising the vibration of the person, the detritus can fall away. That which no longer serves them falls off of them, like bark being shed by a tree. It falls off easily when the time is right.

crystal bed triangleThe person then integrates the shift, releases the emotions and gains freedom from past patterns and beliefs that were locked in their DNA at that lower vibrational frequency.

Freedom comes from accessing the truth of your heart and being. The truth which has just been locked away under layers and layers of conditioning, beliefs and emotional pain.

The crystal bed helps you shift the layers and unfold the pain and the past, so insights surface and freedom from the past occurs. It is a true gift from God and the entities of light who work through it to assist each individual to receive whatever it is that they need at that moment.

The crystal bed frees a person from the emotional, spiritual and physical density that is held within their bodies. It enables this weight to drop off and light to take its place.

Each colour is a different frequency of light that balances the chakras and meridians in the body. The light enters the cells providing the energy required for the body to heal itselfthe resources needed for the body’s own healing mechanism to kick in and come back to life. The body will heal itself when given the resources to do so.

Often emotional and spiritual healing has to be done first to enable the shifts in the physical body. This will all occur naturally in the days following a crystal bed treatment as the entities of light continue to work with the person at the pace the person is ready for.

The process is gentle, however, the emotional residue to resolve can be harsh. This is up to each person to process. Emotional pain can not be magic-ked away. It has to be felt and released, so that the energy leaves the body. In time forgiveness and peace will descend onto the person, but there may be a dark night of the soul experience first as the emotional pain, blockages, repressed memories and experiences long forgotten surface to be healed.

You don’t need to know or understand everything. Just trust what occurs is what is needed to clear out your system to enable it to hold a greater frequency of light.

As you stabilise in the new vibrational level you will notice shifts in your outer life as like attracts like. Heavy painful experiences will not come in the same way, as vibrationally you are no longer a match to them. You are lighter and you attract lighter experiences.

Tragedies will still occur, but you will no longer experience them as such. You will see the light in all things. It will be easier to move through situations and to see the healing that comes from all you experience. For it all truly happens for a reason. There are no coincidences or mistakes. All happens to awaken you to the now and the higher consciousness of life and your purpose while here on Earth.

Your life is not for you to gain egoic wealth and happiness. It is for you to grow spiritually rich and self aware, to come into a state of self love and acceptance, from which true riches will then flow—to be authentically yourself, knowing that is enough. No need to please anyone else or impress them. Just relax and be. Be content and happy knowing you are awakening to God’s love and the God within you.

Casa Dom Inacio, abadiania, Brazil
Casa Dom Inacio, abadiania, Brazil

The crystal bed helps a person to achieve this through dropping away the false layers, the egoic myth. Insights will come, glimpses of the bigger picture of why we are here on Earth. It is a portal to the higher realms and higher consciousness, subtle but profound, fun and easy to do.

When you are ready to face your past, release your feelings and move forward, the crystal bed can help. Lie on it fully clothed and receive the light, open to the healing and surrender to God’s will and purpose for your life. Welcome home. We await you with open arms!

Conscious Evolution Personal Development

More Psych-K videos

Why Psych-K works (4:24 mins video)

How Bruce Lipton & Rob Williams met (6:02 mins video)

High-speed mindset change (7:31 mins video)

Important information about Psych-K balances (7:37 mins video)

What does the term Psych-K stand for? (8:48 mins video)


The psychology of change – explaining Psych-K (73:00 mins video)

The evolution of consciousness (28:35 mins video)


Videos explaining how our beliefs affect our life (Wayne Dyer & Bruce Lipton)

The biology of belief: the power of our beliefs to alter our cells pt1 (7:28 mins video)

The biology of belief: how the subconscious mind is programmed & rules our life pt2 (8:02 mins video)


How to recognise when a relationship no longer serves you?

lovely-friendship-images-4k-image-1Relationships occur to support your growth and expand your understanding of life. Through conflict and challenge in relationships you learn to see your conditioning, your patterning and what it is you need to heal.

Simply leaving one partner and moving to the next one will result in repeating the lesson and confrontation which will surface once again hoping you will heal it and resolve the issue. Once you heal the issue inside you, you no longer need to manifest it in the outside world.

So how to tell if the conflict you face in a relationship is leading to beneficial growth and therefore is still a useful, supportive relationship or if it is time to leave? That is the million dollar question.

If your relationship is generally happy, filled with love and supportive of you and your growth, then it is beneficial. If your partner accepts you as you are, cares for you and wants the best for you – then it is clear that this is a beneficial relationship in which you can continue to grow.

Life will never be completely easy and relationships wil always have their ups and down. The challenge is not to run away too early or throw the baby out with the bath water, so to speak.

It is a time of tumultuous growth on Earth. Much is being asked of you all and you are clearing out dense emotions and energy at a rapid rate. There are going to be times when you or your partner are bogged down in their stuff, where they are not able to see the light of day, where they appear stuck and hopeless. Will you love them at this point or leave them? Love stays. Love heals. Love reconnects the wounds within to the light of love and freedom.

Love and support each other through these challenges. See the good in each other, not the weaknesses. See the growth and changes occurring in all beings you interact with.

While there is love and support a relationship is worthwhile. When the love is gone or there is meanness, harshness and selfishness, then perhaps it is time to part. But not before hand and don’t go too soon, as it may just be a healing crisis that can be worked through resulting in elevated energy / vibration for all.

Trust life to guide you forth. If you are meant to leave you will get a clear message. If you are confused then it is not time to go. Look at your own stuff to heal, focus their and keep healing your own stuff, raising your vibration and welcoming greater love and light into your heart, body and mind.

You are a being of love. It is only the wounds that stop you from seeing it and feeling it. Don’t reject yourself or others. Love them. Love them all. It is love that heals and reunites us.

If you are being abused by a partner by all means leave. But if there is love there, support and encouragement – see it, value it, appreciate it. If you can talk heart to heart and connect deeply that is a gift, a powerful healing opportunity guiding you both to wholeness. Don’t turn away from such a love because it is not your version of perfection.

All relationships will have challenge, that is what they are designed for. They help you clear out your conditioning and patterning. Will you love or reject the other when they are less than perfect? You too are less than perfect. Do they accept you? Are you being less loving than them?

It can be very complicated to see through all the projections and wounded aspects to see into the heart of the other. But try to do so. In their heart they are still pure, innocent souls. Each just needs love and acceptance to help them unlock the door to their heart and let their light shine.

That is why we bond in relationship. We are looking for someone to love us as we are, which gives us permission to consider that we are worthy of love and are okay even with our wounds. When we feel this, we can let our guard down, the defenses and walls dissolve and we can be vulnerable, authentic and intimate. Without that acceptance we don’t feel safe to expose our tender hearts and heal our deepest wounds. It is the love and safety that comes with intimacy – seeing into another’s true essence, that heals us both, all who participate in it. Be that loving. Be that supportive of each other and your relationship will continue to grow and evolve.

That is the goal of life – to evolve into conscious and loving light beings while living here on Earth. If you can still your mind and go deep within to the still place of your heart, you will hear the truth about your relationship and you will know what to do. The answers are within you, you just have to have the courage to hear them and the sense to patiently wade through all the static like noise that comes from your projections and mind chatter.

Never take action rashly. Never leave or attack the other when you are feeling threatened / defensive / rageful. Breathe through those emotions and work through your stuff, so you come to a place of balance before talking to your partner or friend about the situation. In this way you respond with honesty and love for both of you, as opposed to reacting full of initial emotion, which does not necessarily represent how you really feel. Trust life to lead you forth. Let go of needing to control it all or figure it out. If you are confused it is not time to leave. It is time to look within and heal the buttons being pushed and the wounds beneath them.

Relationships are not meant to be warm and fuzzy all the time. They are tools for growth and learning how to love fully, accepting another as they are – not directing them to be your ideal man or woman. They are who they are, accept them. Don’t try to change them or control them. That will only result in resentment and frustration on both sides. No one likes to be told they are not okay or not good enough. No one deserves to be treated that way.

Love everyone you come in contact with. That is what we all need, to open our hearts and become our true, authentic selves. So choose peace and happiness. Don’t take things personally and accept each other as you grow and evolve in love. That is how it should be. Blessed BE. Amen.

By Jodi-Anne (11 Sept 2015).

Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.

How to overcome disappointment with your life?

pathDisappointment comes from wishing things had been different, from being unhappy with what was. But as you hold yourself in that place of unhappiness your future can not be happy. So to overcome disappointment with your life you need to learn to be happy and accept what is.

No matter what life brings you, you can always choose happiness. It is a choice. You can choose to celebrate the gifts you do have – food, shelter, friends, a job. Even if you don’t like the job or the home, at least you have one. Appreciate them. Appreciate all the good in your life, then things can improve.

are you happyLiterally, as you chose to focus on what you want and taking steps towards it, you create the future anew and positive, supportive chemicals in your body. As you focus on the old, on the fact that nothing changes or that you have missed out on so much, you are creating sad, depressive chemicals in your body, which is why your body will then feel lethargic, at a loss, no motivation to do anything. You are bogging yourself down with heavy baggage. You have to let it go.

Doing so involves living in the moment, creating fun and joy. Do this. It can be as simple as playing some music that uplifts you or makes you laugh and want to dance. Light candles, incense and decorate your home in such a way that it feels a peaceful, happy place to dwell. Colour can really help to brighten things up. Spending time in nature also helps lighten the load – the green of the grass, trees, shrubs, etc opens our heart chakra back up, so we can feel connected, held, supported.

Your parents did the best they knew how and while you may wish that was different, it is the truth, and what occurred is what happened. You can’t change that and no matter how much you wish it was different, it can’t be. It has happened. Your choice is to waste your now upset about it or to use your energy to create an enjoyable now and a future you will enjoy and be proud of.

If nagging thoughts, sadness and preoccupation with the past continues to haunt you, then see a therapist to help you ‘unhook’ from it. There are many ways to do this – EFT, Psych-K, Lifeline Technique and more. Lots of ways to change subconscious beliefs and patterning that keeps you stuck in the old way. Family constellations can help shift the dynamics in the family so love can flow freely from the ancestors to the current generation. These are energetic processes that can help free you from what was and find peace. They don’t change the past but help you to see them and react to them differently. It doesn’t matter what the others involved do now. They don’t have to change for you to be happy. It is you who has to change, to see the truth of what is and to take responsibility for creating a life you desire.

be what you needAcknowledge the sadness of your inner child who is waiting for you to love him/her and to play with him/her. You can be the best parent to yourself. You can talk nicely to yourself, buy yourself presents, take yourself on excursions and outings to fun and interesting places. You can nurture yourself with massage and treats. You can cook yummy, healthy food for yourself and go on adventures. You are the one who can free yourself and give yourself the love that you need.

Literally, you can talk to your inner child and comfort him/her, give him/her a hug and hold her close. You can bring him/her into your heart chakra and tell him/her how much you love him/her and how precious he/she is. If you don’t have time to go on an actual outing, you can do a guided visualisation with your inner child and see yourself having fun.

It is up to you, you have to choose to prioritise time for having fun, for making your life how you want it to be. Next time a disappointment thought comes up change it to something more positive and take action to have fun – to do something you always wanted to do but didn’t get to do. Go dancing, play a sport, go camping, have an adventure. Do it. Do it. Do it.

If you are finding it difficult to choose to do things differently, to see the goodness around you, it can be because you still have emotional pain inside – be it sadness, anger or resentment. This creates stress and tension in your body.

It helps to release the stress and tension so that your body relaxes more, you feel lighter and then it is easier to do something different. While you are weighed down with the heavy baggage you feel sluggish, lethargic and like there’s no point trying, it’s too hard.

There are many ways to release stress and tension out of your body. One that I use and teach others is Tension and Trauma Release Exercises (TRE). TRE is literally a process for activating the body’s natural stress, tension and trauma releasing process. Your body will shake out all that no longer serves it over time, freeing you of the density and enabling you to lighten up and have fun. To see examples of TRE in use and to learn more about it visit the TRE page of my website.

The mundane can be made extraordinary when you release your stress and emotional pain, change your self-talk and subconscious programming.

bad attitude flat tire change itWho says your life should be any different? Why does life owe you more? Who do you think you are to know more than God? Your life was set before you incarnated. You chose the lessons you wanted to master and the people and situations to help you do so. It is all unfolding as it needs to and life brings you the events, people and situations to help you grow. When you accept this and flow with what is, life is much easier. It is only when we resist this, fight against it, etc, that we struggle. So let go of the struggle and flow with life. It really is okay to do so and you deserve it. You deserve to be happy and enjoy your life. Let go of expectations and accept what is. Choose to enjoy each day, to see the beauty all around you, to see the smile and joy of children, animals and nature. It is up to you – choose to see and feel the joy or choose the gloom and doom. You are harming yourself if you choose to stay stuck. You can move forward as soon as you are willing to let go of the past, be in the now, and take action to create the future you desire. You can do it. It is worth the effort. Blessed BE. Amen.

By Jodi-Anne (10 Sept 2015).

Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.