Month: October 2015

How best to heal after a miscarriage?

by Dr. Jodi-Anne M Smith, posted in Conscious Evolution, Parenting, Personal Development

A miscarriage is God’s introduction to parenthood and connection. It gives parents an opportunity to process how they feel about being parents without the pressure of actually becoming parents. It is a stepping stone towards parenthood, an opportunity for cleansing of any negaitve energies in each the faterh and mother that may inhibit pregnancy and child birth. It is a practical, purposeful process of nature. It has meaning and reason. It is not random, nor pointless. It happens to many because many have blockages to clear before their bodies are purified enough to carry a foetus full term. There are no accidents. It all occurs as it needs to.

Healing from miscarriage involves accepting this truth – that it was a necessary step towards parenthood for your situation. It is not your fault. There is nothing you could have done to prevent it. You are okay and you will have children in future – if it is part of your life plan to do so. Your life plan was chosen before you incarnated to enable you to learn all the evolutionary lessons you chose to learn in this lifetime. It is set in stone and can not be altered once incarnated. So relax, trust and enjoy, knowing you can’t get it wrong and all that happens is for your good. It may not seem like that, but all of life’s experiences are helping you grow, leading you forth to develop a stronger connnection with your inner self, your heart and your life as a mysterious journey of evolution.

weeping-womanIf you are steeped in grief over the loss of your baby then allow the tears to flow. Give yourself time to grieve. Plant a tree or flower on behalf of the child and watch it grow. Nature shows us the cycles of life and seasons of passing. Such a ritual and honouring can be healing. Welcome the child into your heart and talk to them.Thank them for being with you for that short time and wish them well in their next incarnation. Tell them how much you loved them and had looked forward to sharing your life with them. Let yourself carry them with you in your thoughts, day dreams and night time dreams. Let them continue to be a part of your life, for energetically they are. It is only the physical aspect that has ceased.

If you can quiet your mind ask your heart why it had to happen, what was the purpose that the miscarriage served. You may hear that it helped clear your body of dense emotions and vibrations. It raised your vibration by opening your heart to love and joy. It helped soothe your broken heart and not feel alone. The pregnancy may have brought you closer together with your partner and led to more trust and intimacy. Alternatively it may have shown you that you don’t want to be in that situation, relationship or marriage. You may have seen a need for a reordering of your life, a change of focus, work, hobbies, etc. Whatever the reason the pregnancy and miscarriage served a purpose in some way.

miscarriage-quotesTry to find the positive change that resulted from the experience and thank the child for that. Thank it for choosing you as a parent and for helping you to grow in whatever way it has. Trust that it knew it was not to be born, as it was still in energetic form, connected to God/Source/Creator. It knew what was to occur and needed the experience in some way. It may have wanted a taste of life, but not a full life yet. It may have wanted to feel deeply wanted and loved. Or if your pregnancy was not wanted or joyous, it may have wanted to feel the struggle and turmoil of making a difficult decision. Whatever it experienced while with you, served it in some way. Life is not random or meaningless. There is a purpose to all that occurs. We may not understand it, but it is true, and life will be a lot simpler and easier if we accept that fact and accept what occurs. Don’t fight against it. Don’t resist what is. Don’t waste energy complaining or wondering why. Don’t go into victim mode and wallow in depression. There is no need for that. This is just another stepping stone in your life leading you forward to being the greatest version of you that you can be – the embodiment of your higher self on Earth.

If you are struggling with your grief, see a counsellor or therapist to support you and your body throguh it. Massage will help soothe you and connect you with your feelings. You could use processes like Tension and Trauma Release Exercises (TRE) to help release the trauma, tension and stress from your body, so that you can open back up to connection and relaxation. Time in nature will help balance you too.

Talking with friends and others who have gone through this will help you know you are not alone, that miscarriage is quite common and that most go on to have a healthy baby. This is not the end of your parenting dreams. It is just a rock on the road, an obstacle to move through, to get to your goal.

Love yourself through it and look after your needs and those of any other kids you have at this time. They too will need extra cuddles. They will see your sadness, your confusion, your numbness and perhaps your rage if you feel it. Kids are very intuitive. Be honest with them and explain that you are feeling sad and lost after what occurred and you just need some time to feel good again. They too will go through disappointments in life and your role modelling of how to go though such a phase of life can help them greatly.

Don’t burden them with too much detail, but don’t stay silent. If you say nothing they will make up what they think it is and may think it is their fault. So tell them the truth with love and awareness and give them the opportunity to express how they feel too. Accept whatever they say, they may feel guilty as they are relieved not to have to share you with another child. They may feel confused and lost too. Whatever they feel comfort and nurture them. Take time to be together and play a lot. Let life and joy be acceptable. You do not need to stop living just because the child did. Let life go on and the child live in your heart, for energetically they are and always will be with you. Blessed BE.

By Jodi-Anne (01 Sept 2015).

Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.

What are the most beneficial actions during pregnancy?

by Dr. Jodi-Anne M Smith, posted in Health, Parenting

foot inside bellyTalk to your child to be and welcome them into your heart and the world. The embryo can hear your thoughts, feel your love and speak your language while growing – the language of love, of light, and harmony. The higher your vibration the more vital the energy flowing to the baby enabling luscious growth and development.

Sing, dance and play with your child to be, tell it what you are doing and why. Introduce it to people and explain who they are and the role they will play in the child’s life once born. In doing this you are introducing your child to its tribe, to build its sense of belonging, of being loved, and of the world being a loving, welcoming place.

Do your best to keep your thoughts positive and have fun. The vibration of joy, love and gratitude are very beneficial. Know that it is okay to feel low, sad or angry at times. It won’t harm the baby’s growth and development, but do your best to bring yourself back to balance and peace when you can. As long as the balance of your time you feel good, then the baby can grow healthily in your belly.

If you are in despair, depression, fear or rage for too long it will affect the baby’s development. Even your science now shows this leads to development of more brawn and less brain, as the fetus develops so it can fight and survive in the harsh world that its parents perceive. So try not to be in that space. If you do feel or think that way then see a therapist to help you shift those negative feelings and come into balance.

The more secure and safe you can feel during the pregnancy, the more the child will feel that when born. Your beliefs and experiences during pregnancy greatly shape the developing child. If Mum is anxious, baby may become anxious in disposition. The baby feels all of the Mother’s emotions and is affected by them. So the more loving and joyful you can be the better.

hands on bellyHave fun with your child. Let them know they are loved and wanted and you will encourage them to be whoever they want to be. Don’t setup pressures or expectations that the child must fulfill. Don’t create drama about how you are going to cope financially or emotionally. Visualise it all going well. Visualise happily ever after. Of course there will be challenges, but the more positive you can be the better. At all times send love to your developing child – just think of them and visualise love going into them. Gold light is good to send to them too. This strengthens the bond and connection.

Eat well and rest when needed. Your body will do the rest of it. Nothing for you to force or make happen. Surrender and allow. Don’t stress too much or fight against what is needed. If you have to rest all day, so be it. Your body is developing a baby. It is doing one of the most important jobs there is. This is where your life force energy is focused at the moment, so accept you may not be able to do everything else you want to at the moment. Let it all go. Trust that what needs to happen will and everything else can wait or isn’t truly needed.

Love, light, rest, play, visualise, have fun, read stories, colour in, sing and dance. All of these things are beneficial as is meditation and stillness. You are teaching your baby how to live by what you do. Are you showing them life is about having fun and being happy? Or are you showing them you have to push hard and work to achieve your goals? Where is your focus – your head or your heart? All of this affects the developing fetus and the personality of your child.

A lot of programming occurs while in the womb and this can affect the person the rest of their lives. So ideally make it good by being happy yourself. Again, don’t get upset if you have a bad day or a time of fear and panic. Just breathe and balance back up and talk to your baby explaining what you are doing and how you are regulating your emotions and thoughts. This role modelling of emotional intelligence and conscious awareness introduces the child to these concepts and abilities. It is a great head start for them and building a positive self esteem. As they grow and live life you can continue to teach these skills in playful ways enabling them to succeed in life – to live consciously, with self awareness and connection to their hearts.

There is much you can do through pregnancy to help your developing child. Mostly it is all centered around being loving, taking good care of yourself and connecting to your baby. Play music you like, read kids books to your baby in your belly. When they are born that music and those stories will be soothing to them, familiar, a safe space. Make your home a nourishing, beautiful space you enjoy being in, then baby will feel loved and secure there too. Most of this Mothers do automatically. It is easy and natural. Nothing fancy needed. Just love. You will do fine. Enjoy the experience. Blessed BE. Amen.

By Jodi-Anne (22 Aug 2015).

Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.

What is the healthiest response to loss of a loved one?

by Dr. Jodi-Anne M Smith, posted in Health, Relationships

Peaceful-Radio-slider-1The healthiest response to loss of a loved one is to allow whatever emotions you are feeling to flow through you and be released. Death is not annihilation of the person. It is the liberation and expansion of the spirit back to its fullness.

We can only access a small portion of our true self while in the body. We are limited due to our minds, egos, and the distractions of the flesh, which stop us connecting with God, our higher self and innate wisdom. All of that comes back together at the point of death. It is freedom from suffering and re-immersion into bliss and peace, knowing with full certainty that you are loved, accepted and complete, because love is all there really is on the other side. That is what you are immersed in, the vibration of God which is love, so it is a peaceful and joyous occurrence.

For those left behind when someone dies there is temptation to be angry at God for letting it happen; there can be guilt for not seeing the person enough; shame over any resentments you still hold towards the person and of course sadness at your loss. The sadness really is about those who stay, not those who go. It is saying “I will miss having you here to talk to and see, I love you and didn’t want you to go. I am sad for my loss, not yours. You are at peace, with God and your family. You are in a better place than I. I wish you well and I will soldier on in this place, till I too join you in that place”.

The sadness can also be tinged with fear of your own death or others you love. Know we will all die, but we only do so when it is our time – it is planned, pre-set before we are birthed. We have a destiny to fulfil and we cannot avoid it. No one dies before their allotted time. No one goes unexpectedly – they know intuitively, deep within, when it is to occur.

Our time on Earth serves a purpose for our evolution and growth. We come to learn / master certain lessons or experiences, to round out our soul’s knowing of all that is. In each lifetime we experience certain events or aspects of the whole. We keep doing this until we have experienced it all. In one lifetime we may be the villain, in another the hero, and yet another the victim. We get to experience it all. This can only occur if we can end each lifetime once the mission is completed, so we can go on to the next. There is no oblivion or nothingness. Life goes on in a different form and then a different body. So there is no real death. Life continues.

Your loved ones watch you from the other side. They send you love, they cheer you on, they sit beside you when you cry and despair. They are not gone and you are not alone. Know they continue to exist and they want you to enjoy your life as much as possible, to make the most of the gift of life on Earth. So do not wallow in pain and grief for too long. Let the emotions flow.

Talk to your loved ones still here about how you feel or a counsellor if necessary. Spend time in nature and let it soothe your soul. Meditate and connect in with the silence and your heart. Feel your heart and its messages. Let yourself rest and recuperate. Look after yourself well with nourishing food, time for sleep and exercise. Remember to live, it’s okay for you to live on. You don’t have to die too. Don’t shut down or numb out, out of loyalty or longing to join your loved one. They don’t want this. They don’t want their death to harm you. They want you to live fully, to embrace life in honour of them. They want their influence in your life to have led you on to greater things, not hindered you or slowed you down. It helps to say “I will live fully and honour your memory. I will live a while longer, then I will join you at the right time. It is not up to me and I surrender to God’s plan”.

Most of all it is important to honour your needs and emotional reactions. Don’t suppress your feelings or deny them. This just buries them in your body which can eventually lead to illness.

Tension and Trauma Release Exercises (TRE) can help you to release the tension, stress and trauma out of your body. It can help you to stay calm or to calm back down after emotional releases. Don’t let yourself tighten up, shut off and deaden within. No need for you to become numb. No need to push away your emotions, your true feelings. Feel them. Honour them. Support yourself as you move through layer upon layer of buried tension and emotion.

The grieving process empties out of you a lot of old grief, anger, rage and hurt from experiences that have devastated you throughout your life. That’s why it can feel so intense. It is like the flood gates open enabling it all to rise to the surface to be seen, felt and released, to be laid to rest so you can have peace.

If you fight against all of the tension and emotion rising you create frozen trauma energy in your body. You lock the pain into your muscles and cells, hence our muscles tighten, contracting around the trauma to hold it down. This results in dis-ease and physical pain. Our muscles hurt being clenched tight. Better to use TRE to help you to naturally release, to shake out all of this tension, so that your body can relax, be calm and it is easier for you to move through all that arises when you have lost someone you love.

If you have to go to work or care for young children, then make sure you do take some time each day for yourself, to sit with your feelings and honour your needs. You can’t give constantly to others and not burn out. You need to also receive – let other’s assist you. Let go of your perfectionistic tendencies – it is okay for the house to be a little dirtier than normal; it’s okay to eat take-away food for a while, rather than cooking yourself.

Honour yourself and your needs. Be kind to and comfort yourself, like you would if it was a good friend going through the experience. Be that friend to yourself and let people in. Don’t isolate yourself thinking people won’t understand. They will. Everyone goes through this at times – be it the death of a pet; a close friendship or relationship; or death of a loved one. It is all similar – a dying of what was known and a moving into the unknown. That is what people fear, the unknown. They worry what will occur and whether or not they will be able to handle it. Know that you will. Whatever comes you will handle it. You are strong enough. Otherwise it would not be occurring.

It is through adversity we learn to accept, surrender, let go of control, to open up to God and the mysteries of the Universe. It is through challenge that we see how strong we can be, when we need to be or events force us to be. It all leads to our spiritual growth and evolution and that is what we are here for. Life on Earth continues until we have learned what we wanted to learn, what we chose as our focus, prior to incarnation. When the learning is complete, so are we, and we let go of the body and return home to God, to our fullness and to those who came before us. It is a celebration and graduation all at once. A time of joy and love, so choose peace when someone you love crosses over. Know they have gone home and they are okay. Honour yourself and your needs and know it is all happening as it is meant to. There are no accidents or mistakes. Trust in life and keep living. It is not your time to go yet. Blessed BE. Amen.

By Jodi-Anne (12 Aug 2015).

Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.

How to heal after childhood sexual abuse

by Dr. Jodi-Anne M Smith, posted in Healing from child abuse, Personal Development, Self help techniques

light of godThis is a gigantic topic that can not be addressed in one blog. We will give some general guidance and cover other aspects in future blogs. Childhood sexual abuse is a heinous act that takes away a child’s sense of innocence and trust in the world. Whether the act was done in a violent or loving manner it rips apart a child’s identity. They are no longer a child living in a world of mystery, awe and learning. They no longer can lose themselves in the moment, they lose spontaneity and joy for life. In its place come watching, scanning for danger, for fear of it happening again. Confusion terrifies – is it good, bad, dirty, evil? Am I a bad person because of it? Why is it a secret? Why mustn’t others know? All of this takes a child out of a child’s mindset and experience of life. It robs them of their freedom to live life innocently and openly connecting with self, others, nature and life.

Each experience is different, based on the particular circumstances, but none of them are beneficial to the child. The child may feel some pleasure in the physical touch. They may feel love towards the perpetrator who is giving them special attention. They may become jealous of the other parent and sharing the perpetrator with them. This sets up an unhealthy competition between mother and daughter (if that is the scenario). Or mother may be depressed, father/stepfather unhappy and the child steps in to compensate, hoping father will stay, not leave.

There are many combinations and the above relates to incest by family members or friends of the family. These are the most common forms of incest. Strangers molesting children is much rarer. It is usually a person known to the child. Someone they trust and this also has a massive impact on their ability to trust others.

Whatever the situation, healing from childhood sexual abuse is a long and tedious process. All the various emotions have to be felt and released. The dysfunction of the family and the complicity of those involved has to be seen and acknowledged. Your parents / the adults should have been protecting you, but they didn’t. Shame, anger, rage, grief, loss, isolation, pain, all has to be worked through, before light can start to enter.

Because these events were so painful and confusing it is automatic to push the memories and feelings away when they surface, but suppressing them does not help. It just keeps them locked inside the body and the person numbed out from feeling fully. This means that they can not experience great joy or happiness either, as their feelings are numbed, on auto pilot, shut down to the bare minimum.

This all releases in time as the person learns to feel the emotions and release them. This can be done willingly or not. The body will trigger releases when it feels you are ready for them – be it flashbacks, memories surfacing, body aches / rashes, pain or emotional outbursts. It surfaces in many ways and it will impact your ability to function in your day to day life. Surrender to the process and allow the emotion to be felt and released. It will take time, a lot of time, but it will get easier as you learn how to deal with an emotional release and support yourself through the process.

Eat well, rest and get lots of sleep. Your body is undergoing massive shifts and changes. If the trauma or emotional pain was too intense it gets locked inside the body and it all has to come back out. It needs time for this to all occur. There are no miracle cures or quick answers. It has to occur bit by bit so you can cope and process the emotions that surface.

  • You will need to work through feelings of loss and its impact on your life.
  • You will have to work through feelings of betrayal and perhaps a desire to punish those involved for what happened, and for not looking after you.
  • You will have to work through any shame you feel and learn that it is safe to open back up to love, sexuality, passion and joy.
  • You will need to learn to trust others and allow yourself to be vulnerable again.

There is much healing to occur and it does take many years to fully resolve. That is the sad truth of it. It is a major impact on a person’s life and they have to deal with it the best they can. It does lead to lots of personal growth and insight, which is a good thing, but it is a hard way to get it. Especially when others around you may seem to be having a happy, easy life. So jealousy and feelings of ‘Why me?’, of victimhood, also have to be worked through.

be what you needIt is a tumultuous ride and no wonder the body may struggle at times to cope with it all. Depression is common as people work through the issues. Do your best to support yourself with kindness, love and friendship. Be the loving parent to yourself that you wished your parents were. Be patient and kind to yourself, you are doing the best you can. Know it will shift in time and while frustrating, your feelings and experience is normal. It is part of the process. That is why we said it is a heinous act. It is one that destroys a person’s natural ability to live and enjoy their life. It dominates their reactions to life and the way they interact with others. All this damage, this processing and conditioning, has to be worked through and released.

Many people become over weight, even obese, as a result of childhood sexual abuse. They hide under the layers or weight, feeling more protected and safe. At some level they hope they are safer as they feel less attractive and hope no one will attack them again.

Some remain extremely thin, afraid to exist, and not accepting nourishment. They hope if they look weak, thin, like a child, people will take pity on them and hopefully look after them. The self loathing, shame and rejection of self can lead them to self harm, to punish themselves and therefore not nourish their bodies appropriately.

Some people armour up. They put layers of energetic and physical armouring on their body, which hardens them. It makes them rigid and cold and deflects off anyone or anything that approaches them. It acts as a defense, but keeps them isolated as no one can get close enough to give them love. Love would melt the armour and help the emotions to surface. But until a person is ready this feels threatening so they would push away anyone who comes close and tries to love them. They may judge those who come close as unacceptable, untrustworthy – finding some fault in them to justify their actions and rejection of them. This can be a very lonely and sad way to live.

Some channel their anger and rage into their work. They may fight for some cause, some charity, in an attempt to protect the vulnerable in society or the planet itself from abuse by man. This fight, this burning passion to save others or the Earth is due to their own buried pain and the need for themselves to be saved, rescued, loved and supported. It is a projection outwards of what they actually need. They need to allow themselves to be vulnerable, weak, and to be looked after by others. They have been trying to be strong for so long that eventually they will collapse and burnout. They will need to rest and face what is inside. They can’t go on fighting forever as they are depleting their energy reserves and no matter what they achieve in their work it will never feel like it is enough, because it isn’t what they really need. What they really need is to look inside themselves, feel the emotional pain and release it, so they can then enjoy their lives as much as possible.

Finding peace after childhood sexual abuse is possible. It is just a long journey. Call on the Angels and your Guides to help you. Find practitioners to support you – energetically with healing; your body physically with releasing; and nutritionally with vitamins. There are many different tools and techniques that can be used to support you through the process. Try different things and see what works for you. The key is to remember to be patient, loving and kind with yourself. You have suffered enough, so don’t burden yourself by feeling not good enough or getting mad at yourself.

inner childInside you is the scared, wounded, confused child who went through the experience. He/she needs your love and support. They need to be talked to, listened to and reassured. They need to be helped to feel safe again and to trust that you, the Adult you, will look after them. Then they can relax and play again, they can become a natural child again – free, spontaneous, in awe of life and full of joy at what they see. This then unlocks the door to your freedom to enjoy life more fully. So love yourself through it all. Talk to your inner child regularly. Tell him/her that you love them, you will protect them and you are sorry about what they went through. In time they will trust you more and open up. You can visualise with your eyes closed and imagine playing in the park with your inner child. You can eat ice-cream together and do all that you missed out on. You can have fun and form a strong connection and feeling of safety, of being loved, accepted and safe. That is important to do. It brings light into your life and the ability to have fun and play.

Life is meant to be enjoyed. Just this and other experiences get in the way. Do the work to free yourself from the past, so that you can enjoy the rest of your life and make the most of it. You can do it and it’s worth doing.

Don’t keep pushing the emotions away that prolongs the process.

  • Breathe through emotions as they arise.
  • If it is really intense you can scream or yell.
  • You may want to hit cushions against your bed or lounge to release the anger.
  • Buried emotions within my body
    Buried emotions within my body

    You may draw pictures of how you feel releasing the energy onto paper. Whatever method works for you to get it out of your body.

  • Some people like to go the gym or run until they are exhausted and the energy has shifted.
  • Hot, salt baths help to cleanse and soothe the body after a release.
  • Massage and other body work can help muscles to relax and the body to let go of tension and being in constant fight or flight mode ready to defend itself.
  • Time in nature helps ground us and strengthen us to cope with what we are going through.
  • Feel the Earth’s energy and allow her to hold you, support you. Imagine her energy coming up through your feet and filling you with love and support. See all that you don’t need draining out of your feet, back into the Earth – give her your heaviness, your pain, your emotions, she can process them for you, turning them into positive energy. The Earth is fertilised with our crap and that of all animals. It is why we put manure into the soil. You can do the same energetically. She can cope with it all. Do this visualisation daily or whenever you feel you have something to release.

Counselling can help if you find a therapist who is familiar with these issues and the complexities involved. It is not completely necessary, but for many people they have isolated themselves enough they have no one they trust or can talk to about what they are going through. If this is the case a counsellor can be that person and someone you experiment being vulnerable with, revealing your secrets and your fears, desires and truth.

Happiness is an inside job!

Each person’s journey will be unique to them and it all takes time. Go easy with yourself. You don’t need to dig through your past trying to find clues about what did or didn’t happen. it will surface when it is meant to, when you are strong enough and ready to process it. So just enjoy your life as much as you can and know that you will remember or be triggered by others when the time is right for you to complete the next part of your healing journey.

Know that you do deserve peace, love and happiness, and you can get it. In time you will be free and you will be so grateful for that. You are brave souls on a massive journey. We cheer you on from the sidelines and we watch your progress. We hold your hands when you cry, and laugh along with you when you laugh. We are always here, supporting and encouraging you, whispering in your ear helping you to intuitively know what you need to do next. You are never alone. You are held in the arms of God and the angels. You are cherished and cared for by those of us assigned to you this lifetime. We see your beauty. We see your strength, your innocence and goodness. It is our job to help you to see them too. We love you. Blessed BE. Adieu.

By Jodi-Anne (09 Aug 2015).

Here are links to Part 2 and Part 3 of How to heal after childhood sexual abuse. Each post deals with a different aspect of how to heal.

Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.

What is the best way to heal after an abortion?

by Dr. Jodi-Anne M Smith, posted in Health, Personal Development, Self help techniques

yellow roseAn abortion causes a death not only to the fetus, but also inside the parents. The guilt, shame and grief that results is enormous. Some push it away, pretend it didn’t happen. Some get angry and want to blame their circumstances or the other person. Some want to die themselves or punish themselves for their choices. None of this is helpful.

What helps most is to honour the child, to love them, to thank them for choosing you as a parent and to acknowledge the truth that you weren’t willing to accept the role. Thank them for choosing you and make it clear that you were not ready or capable for whatever reasons, but you love and accept them into your heart. You did not reject the child itself. It is worthy of life, of love, of acceptance. You were just not able to provide it at the time. This is the truth that must be heard and honoured, so that soul does not feel alone, abandoned, rejected and lives in pain. Let it live in love inside your heart.

“I honour you for wanting to be with me, to have me be your parent. I honour that and I wish you well. I pray you find soul’s more willing than I, who say yes, next time you attempt to birth into life on Earth”.

Imagining them happy with new parents is beneficial. You give them permission to move on and the same for yourself. There is no benefit from getting sick, dying, staying small or unsuccessful or childless. You are allowed to be happy, successful, healthy and be a good, loving parent when you are ready.

You do not have to miss out on life just because the child did. Choose instead to do something good to honour the child. Donate to an orphanage, honour a foster child, carry a photo of your loved one in your heart, share your story with the world to help others. Make sure something good occurs as a result of the experience and the child’s sacrifice.

“Because of you I have healed my wounds and become a better person. I am no longer focused on my career at the expense of everything else. I am no longer so caught up in my head that I don’t hear my heart. Because of you I have faced my hurt and processed it. I have become a better person and I will use it to help others who also need to heal and hear their heart’s messages. Because of you I am living a healthier life and when I do get pregnant again I will realise how lucky I am and will be grateful. I will never again take it for granted or so lightly. I now realise the seriousness of my choice and the severe consequences that can result. I will not make reckless or thoughtless choices again. I will honour all who come across my path. Because of you and the pain I felt at your loss, I have learned what it is like to suffer needlessly, to be deeply depressed and to regret your choices. I will be better able to empathise with others who also suffer, due to my experiences with you. I will be a better person, Mother and therapist, because of you. Thank you for the many gifts you have given me. May you also receive gifts and blessings throughout your life that lead to your soul’s evolutionary growth. Thank you for being that catalyst for me.”

If you can find some form of the above, some form of value that has resulted from the experience, it can help shift the guilt and blame, pain and sadness. It can help awaken hope, love and light – allowing life again.

Know that every soul gets exactly what it needs to experience for its evolution. They choose what will occur prior to incarnating. So a child knows in advance whether or not it will get born or die young. This is known to the soul/spirit of the child and because it is still in spirit form before birth, it is still connected to God/Source and knows what is occurring.

Those souls that choose to be miscarried or aborted have chosen that experience. They may not be ready for a full life experience and just want a taste. They may choose to go through it to assist the Mother and bring new life into her body – the cells growing and cleansing her body of the old. There can be many reasons. The soul may choose the experience knowing it will be a catalyst to shift the parents out of their current slumber – to improve things or leave the relationship. God and that soul knows the reasons. You will too once you pass over and see the reasons for all events in your life and what they were teaching you and helping you evolve.

highest-self-1There are no mistakes, everything happens perfectly for the evolution of all souls. So forgive yourself, accept your choices, feel the pain and let it go. Vow to do better next time and honour the child that was and those that come after. Choose to honour the child by living your life fully. You are allowed to enjoy your life and be happy. That is what God wants for you and all souls.

You have not sinned or killed. It was not your intent to brutally slaughter the child. It is not the same as murder at all. Your circumstances, your maturity level, all led to your choice. With greater wisdom you would have chosen differently. But at the time you did what you thought was best. Do not ruin the rest of your life over that choice. Let yourself off the hook and be happy. Live fully and be a loving parent when the time is right. It truly is okay and you have been forgiven – by God, by the soul involved. You just have to forgive yourself. You can do it.

If you are struggling seek help and support from loved ones, a therapist or a support group. So many people have experienced this. It is actually quite common, it is just not talked about. You don’t have to suffer alone. Reach out and get the assistance you need.

You can use Tension and Trauma Release Exercises (TRE) to help release the stress, tension and trauma, so that you can relax more, come out of numbness, depression and shut down. 

TRE can help you to shake out the pain, teh dense emotion and stuck energy, so that you come back to life more fully. You can use it regularly as part of your self-care routine. Once you have learned TRE and how to self-regulate your shaking you can use TRE for free at home whenever you want to help you and your body to relax and find peace. It is well worth doing. 

By Jodi-Anne (05 Aug 2015).

Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.