When someone is given a bad diagnosis it is tempting to try and fix them, to take control and try to rectify it all. This is not what is needed. Drop through the defensive reactions and feel the pain leading you to step into rescuing. It is your pain – your sadness that your friend is sick or dying or has suffered some great loss. It is your anger at feeling helpless and unable to resolve it. It is your fear of upsetting them by not doing enough or doing the wrong thing, saying or not saying the right thing. Stop trying so hard. This is not about you.
Your friend is in pain, just be there for them. Just hold their hand, comfort them, listen to them. Ask them what they need or want from you and do what they say. They may not want to rush off seeking miraculous cures half way around the globe. You would, but they might not. They may choose to spend whatever remaining time they have with their loved ones, enjoying their home, pets, favourite food and spaces. They may want to slow down, surrender, accept their fate and die peacefully with those they care most about.
Yes, you could research diets, treatments, cures on their behalf and share that information. You could do that and it is indeed kind and coming from a loving space. But can you do it peacefully or are you losing your peace, your balance, your self-alignment in your desperate quest to help the other?
What is it deep down that you are afraid of facing: your friend’s demise, your own, your buried emotions from the past? Work through whatever arises for you with kindness and compassion. You don’t have to suffer or feel guilty for being alive. You don’t have to stop living your life, just because they are unwell. You don’t have to drop everything to be there all the time. Send love, do what you can do peacefully and rest. You do not need to make yourself sick too.
We all die at some time. We will all perish one way or another. Sometimes it happens slowly, sometimes quickly, sometimes unexpectedly and sometimes way too soon. That is life. There are no guarantees here, so do what you can to enjoy your life, to love fully and have an open heart, spreading joy wherever you go. If you live this way you are making a positive impact with every breath and step you take, with all who you interact with. When you live this way, with an open, loving heart, you are being of great service to the planet and to humanity who will remember you fondly when you do return to Heaven and to those loved ones waiting for you on the other side.
Remember that when people die they re-enter the realm of unconditional love, of peace and contentment, of non-duality. They reunite with their loved ones, with God, their Guides and Angels. They get to be home in Heaven; to review their life just lived, to see how they did throughout their journey, where they grew and evolved, and where they still have room to grow. This then becomes the focus of their next life, so they can heal and master that issue.
It is all a progression to being able to embody your higher self on Earth, a growing to perfection and completion, so that you can be unconditionally loving and united with God while in the body. So this is not the end. It is just one transition in many that occur as a Soul evolves from one incarnation to the next.
So it is not a tragedy, not something to be mourned. It just means your friend is coming to the end of this lifetime. She has learned her lessons, experienced what she needed to experience and is ready for the next step on her adventure. And if she is not yet complete, then she will live on despite the diagnoses.
People do defy their clinical diagnoses every day. People live longer than they are told they will. Some do experience unexplainable cures – from the medical perspective. Some live on and some die. It is not up to you. It is up to the person and God, and what they chose as their life plan before incarnating on Earth.
So let go of trying to rescue or fix or deny your feelings of helplessness. Accept the truth: you are sad your friend is sick. You wish it wasn’t happening and that you could make it all better. Part of you wants to cry, to yell, to fight, but the best thing to do is to surrender, to accept what is, and to accept your friend’s choices, no matter what they choose. Whether it be to rest and go out gracefully or to search for a cure and more time. It is their choice, not yours. So let go of control and breathe. Breathe through all the emotions and fears and come back to love. Come back to love and just be there, willing to do whatever your friend wants you to do.
Yes you can provide some information on cures, diets, healers, etc, but then let go. Let them choose in their own time. This is their journey, their process and much is occurring inside them. A serious health diagnosis is a catalyst for great change within a person. It causes huge amounts of self-reflection, realisations and insights. It leads to great spiritual growth and Soul healing. This is its purpose. It is a phase of massive, rapid shifting of core beliefs, attitudes and ways of being. It is a catalyst for growth and change. It is not meaningless or random. It has great purpose and it is serving the person, even if it looks like it is not.
All who are affected, who know the ill person will be altered. Their process causes great shifts and evolution in all they know. Each person will be triggered in different ways due to their past. They will face and work through these triggers to find balance and love, or they will fall further into disconnection, loss and addiction. Each will grow as a result of their love for the person who is sick and their response to it. See how big a catalyst for change these situations are.
Each person will grow, will reflect on how they are living their life and make changes to operate more in accordance with their heart.
Some will do so out of fear, thinking they need to enjoy life as much as they can while they still can.
Some will want to create a positive legacy to be remembered by, to do good and feel like their life has helped others, made a difference.
Some will start to live more simply, letting go of stress, busy-ness and consumerism, realising you can’t take it with you and your time is more precious than the things.
Some will focus more on connecting heart to heart with others, deepening friendships and connections as these are what last in the long term, as opposed to things.
There can be many different reactions, but see how they all lead to growth. See how your friend’s illness not only is a catalyst for her, but for all those who love her and wish her well. See how much she is being of service to you all with what she is going through. See how perfect the design of life is. You may not like what occurs, but it all occurs for a reason and that reason is evolution and growth.
Remember you are not your bodies, you are Souls having a vacation on Earth to learn and grow, and at some stage the vacation ends, and you return home to those who love you and celebrate your growth and evolution with you, until you choose your next incarnation and adventure on Earth. Death is not the end, just a stepping stone in a path of many lifetimes, leading you home to love and peace within. Blessed BE, Amen.
By Jodi-Anne (21 July 2018).