Tag: self acceptance

How do we stop fighting against our lives?

by Dr. Jodi-Anne M Smith, posted in Healing from child abuse, Personal Development, Self help techniques

You fight because you resist surrendering your defences and feeling your pain. It feels too big, overwhelming, obliterating. You sense the depths of emotional pain inside and you fight against facing it all.

Yet at the same time you search for solutions so you will feel better. You want it to be gentle, sanitised, easy, but emotional pain has to be felt and transmuted, felt into completion, loved and accepted. You get tired of layer after layer surfacing and wonder whether it will ever end. It won’t. It just changes form.

You are not lost or drowning, you just think you are. It is like you are in water that is deep enough that it has the illusion you can’t stand in. You swim or doggy paddle trying to stay afloat. You know you can only do it for so long. Eventually you have to give in, to let yourself sink. It is only then you realise you can actually stand and you are okay.

That is what you’re doing. You keep swimming or running or hiding when you don’t need to any more. It is safe for you to be still, to rest, to play, to look around and enjoy life, to connect with others. But part of you still flees, still fears bad things happening. Part of you still stays small hoping not to be noticed, worried what others may do to you.

You waste so much energy in fight or flight or trying to figure things out, solve imaginary problems, predict future outcomes in an attempt to avoid those you don’t like. What is meant to be will be. You can’t run away from it or hide. It will happen.

Surrender to your life’s plan and destiny. It was set before you were born. It was agreed to prior to incarnation. The movie starring you has already been made. It’s in the theatre, part way through screening, and you are waving your hands hoping to change it, to alter the script, but it is already done. What is going to occur will occur. You can’t prevent it or alter it dramatically, so stop wasting your energy fearing what is next, trying to control or manipulate it.

Accept what is and trust you will be led forth by God, by love, by your higher self, to experience what you need in order for you to heal and grow, for your soul’s evolution.

What is needed will occur. Some of it will be enjoyable and some of it will not, but it will all lead you forth to growth and integration of your higher self into your body, so you can shine your divine light and a heart full of love into the world.

You are being led to a good place. It is beneficial. You just doubt it, question it, mistrust it. You fight against it, but it is all happening for your highest good.

You know that tragedies lead to rethinking the way you live life. They lead to personal reflection, insight and growth. They serve a purpose. They come when they are needed. You can’t prevent it.

Stop wasting your energy worrying about ‘What if’s’. Half of what you imagine won’t happen and the other half will not be as bad as you imagine. It is all leading you forth to heal and open up to receiving and giving love more easily.

So relax and enjoy your life. Trust God’s plan. Slow down and have fun. Don’t worry so much. Don’t try to figure it all out. You don’t need to see what is up ahead. What matters are the next few steps. Be in this moment and see where your heart guides you. Listen to your body and its messages.

Slow down and BE. Integrate all the shifts and changes you have been through. Let your body adjust to the changes in vibration and your nervous system to relax out of survival mode into being mode. You can do it. You just need to stop. Stop all thinking about the future. Trust what is to come is good for you. Allow what is, to be what it is and know it will change if and when it is meant to.

You don’t have to work so hard. Rest, you deserve it. You need it. Simplify your life and make time for being, for enjoying yourself, doing things you love and spending time with people you can connect with heart to heart.

You are allowed to take time off, time out from work or study or responsibilities. Relax and be, that is what you need most, and that is how you stop fighting against your life. Accept it as it is.

We each have a unique journey designed for our soul’s evolution. Everyone will experience something different. Some people will have it easier than you and some more difficult. It depends what they are here to learn.

Those who experience deep challenges are keen souls, eager to evolve quickly. They have agreed to experience in one life, what other souls may do over 3 or 4 lives. They have chosen to condense it, so they can evolve more quickly, but that means this lifetime will be full of ups and downs, more chaos, more challenges and disasters than usual.

It can seem too much at times and this is why you fight against feeling the pain. You haven’t chosen a gentle path. You’ve chosen a steep and rocky one, and the best way to navigate it is slowly, step by step, taking time to breathe deeply, to connect to nature and its beauty and calming effects. There are lots of supports available as you navigate through your life.

Just accept what is and do what is needed to heal and balance up, but do it peacefully, slowly, don’t push too hard. Be kind to yourself and your body. It has been through so much and it needs you to treat it with reverence and love. Be that loving parent and best friend for yourself. That is what is needed, so you can relax and enjoy your life.

You can do it. You are and you will get better at it as you stop fighting against what is and you trust more in what is to come, for it is good, very good indeed. It leads you home to your heart with love. Blessed BE, Amen.

By Jodi-Anne (26 July 2018).

  • Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.
  • If you found this blog useful you may wish to consider purchasing a copy of Jodi-Anne’s book ‘Advice from a higher Source’ which contains 85 more answers to questions about life. The paperback book or ebook can be purchased online at – http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/JMS2011. (Once you have clicked into view the description of the book, go to the top of the page and choose the flag symbol for your country, this will show you the price in your currency and enable you to purchase it in that currency)

Why do we look for approval?

by Dr. Jodi-Anne M Smith, posted in Family Constellations, Parenting, Personal Development, Self help techniques

It is human nature to want to feel loved and secure. Feeling that way occurs when you have a strong sense of belonging – to your family, your tribe, your community, your social supports, friends, etc.

You feel safe and secure when you sense that you belong and are accepted by those around you. When you feel you don’t belong, when you feel excluded or in danger of being excluded, you feel terrified of dying, of being left alone to fend for yourself. This terror relates to tribal days when you did need to band together for survival, to hunt the wild animals that could attack anyone left on their own.

In today’s world it is not so dangerous to be on your own, but loneliness, the sense of isolation, rejection, of not being enough – all erodes your happiness and eventually your health. Studies have shown that those who are lonely and isolated suffer higher rates of chronic illness and shorter lifespans. It is almost like the will to live reduces, because it is so painful to live in isolation and darkness that comes when your thoughts are negative and self-loathing.

It is hard to love and accept yourself when you feel rejected by others. The issue may not be about you. It may be something specific to the group rejecting you, but it still feels bad to be rejected. This is why people will do bad things in a group. They will be immoral and do devilish things that they would not do on their own. They go along with the crowd, they don’t stand up and say “No, I don’t want to hurt that person or break that law. It is immoral and I won’t do it”.

It takes great strength to stand up in such a situation and say no. It risks being ostracised, losing your standing in the group, being rejected and hated. Few people have the courage to do so. Many go along with the crowd and silently regret it for the rest of their lives. This feeds self-disgust and loathing.

Sometimes this gets high enough that a person will leave the group on their own choice, as to stay feels unconscionable. But few people make that choice. Most stay and self-medicate through addiction to numb the painful thoughts and feelings. Others will project the self-hatred out onto their enemy, their chosen other, and this further fuels the conflict occurring.

All of this occurs because each person wants to feel that they belong, that they are accepted, and that they are an acceptable human being. Many of us doubt our worthiness, our goodness, we feel not enough. This comes from childhood conditioning, when our parents weren’t able to be there for us all the time we needed them, and occasionally they looked at us with frustration and tiredness. They gave us looks of desperation and we sensed that they wished we didn’t exist or that we were different to how we were.

This was just their tiredness and stress. It wasn’t really about us. It was about them and their circumstances, but we take those messages to heart and feel that we are somehow unacceptable.

No parent means to do that to their child. They love you and want what is best for you, but they did not have the energy reserves or capability to be always loving and positive in their interactions with us. No one could. It is very demanding being a parent. There are no times off. No vacations from the responsibility for that child and its life.

Most parents do their best to meet the child’s needs. Some do not. Some in their exhaustion and pain will blame the child for their adult problems. Some may even say it to their child, saying “If it wasn’t for you I could have….. If it wasn’t for you I would have….You ruined my life, etc, etc”. Some parents can be very cruel even saying that they wish the child had not been born.

All of this negativity gets taken to heart by the child, who then has such inner turmoil and emotional pain that they may rebel, turn away from the parents and look for love and belonging elsewhere. This is what leads to gang membership. The person finds a group where they are accepted and approved of. They will do whatever they need to, in order to join and stay apart of their new family.

Thankfully most of us just join a sporting club or community activity or friends group where we feel held and safe and accepted.

All of us try to find somewhere, where we will be accepted and gain a sense of approval, a feeling that we are good enough, we do belong, and we are okay.

Some will try desperately to please their parents, bending over backwards doing whatever they ask, in a desperate plea for acceptance and belonging. Some parents will give that to their children and some will continue to manipulate the child well into adulthood in order to get what they want.

All of this could be avoided or reduced if there was more support for parents when they have their children. If parents with newborns were more supported, whether that be by family, friends, community or government services, it would make it easier for them to be more positive in their interactions with their children.

Most parents unfortunately are exhausted, over tired, fatigued and living on adrenaline, coffee or sugar to get by. It is not a healthy way to be, and it is inevitable that problems will occur. It is hard enough coping with children as a couple. It is even harder as a single parent.

Parents need support so that they can enjoy their time with their children more, so that they can have a more balanced life, with time for them to relax, do a hobby, and have some fun. Without this balance the parents will be in deficit and the kids will feel that and absorb it, feeling like there is something wrong with them, when there isn’t.

The above patterning is the reason for so many people desperately seeking approval. There are solutions at the societal level as discussed, but there are also solutions at the individual level.

We need to recognise any self-lacking thoughts and change them to more positive, self-affirming thoughts. We need to feel our emotional pain from past interactions and be loving and supportive of our self.

Doing inner child work is powerful, reclaiming those younger parts of us that split off, that hid or became tough to survive. We need to welcome those younger selves back into our hearts, give them the love that they missed out on, and welcome them home to our hearts, to know that they are okay and they belong with us.

When we integrate these disowned parts within us, we will no longer feel rejected by the world so much. We can do inner visualisations and Family Constellations with our parents to heal that split and to connect in with their hearts, their goodness, and their love for us.

There are many ways to do this, so that we feel more complete, more accepted and have a stronger sense of belonging, knowing we are okay, we are enough and all is okay as it is.

When we can heal our pain from our pasts and come to a place of self-acceptance and acceptance of our life how it was, is, and will be, then and only then will we drop the need for approval, as we know that we are okay.

Approval then becomes something that is nice, but not needed. We can be our authentic, creative self, showing our heart’s true desires to the world, following our heart’s longings without fear of ridicule or rejection, knowing that if it does occur it won’t cripple us, as we know we are okay.

Criticism can then be seen as another person’s opinion, which is about them, it is not about us. Any barbed spears they throw simply bounce off as there is no wound for them to land in.

When we love and accept our self, we go forth into the world and shine our light confidently, lovingly and securely, knowing we are good enough and all beings are. This is what we hope for all beings, to reach this place of love and acceptance, of self-approval. When that manifests we will have a much more peaceful time on Earth. Blessed BE, Amen.

By Jodi-Anne (24 July 2018).

  • Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.
  • If you found this blog useful you may wish to consider purchasing a copy of Jodi-Anne’s book ‘Advice from a higher Source’ which contains 85 more answers to questions about life. The paperback book or ebook can be purchased online at – http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/JMS2011. (Once you have clicked into view the description of the book, go to the top of the page and choose the flag symbol for your country, this will show you the price in your currency and enable you to purchase it in that currency)

Jodi-Anne’s books and ebooks now available

by Dr. Jodi-Anne M Smith, posted in Conscious Evolution, Healing from child abuse, Personal Development, Self help techniques

JMS books Gold Buddha

These two channelled books contain insights on the healing journey that we are all on. We are all learning to love and accept ourselves, to let go of past hurts, and live in the NOW. We are all opening up to love, to feeling our emotions fully, and taking the risk to be seen, heard, and loved as our authentic self.

It feels vulnerable to risk showing who you truly are, to let go of your defence mechanisms and image, to say “This is who I really am. These are my strengths, my weaknesses, my fears. I’m not perfect, I’m human and I’m doing my best to be a healthy, happy person”. These books contain some of the tools I’ve used along the way in my healing journey. I hope you find them useful.

Cover‘The healing journey demystified’ is my healing journey, along with advice on how to proceed through the many layers of emotional density, armouring, and protection mechanisms that form when you have suffered a challenging start to life. It also contains a summary of the stages of healing from child abuse and examples of actions you can use to heal.

‘Advice from a higher Source’ contains 85 answers to questions I’ve asked about life. The answers are channelled, downloaded from the Universe/God/Life/Whatever you want to call it. They are loving messages of support to help us through the challenging moments that we face. I’ve asked questions such as ‘How do you heal from the past and enjoy life?’, ‘What is our purpose?’, ‘How do you recognise when a relationship no longer serves you?’, ‘How do you accept the now, and not focus on past or future as the source of happiness?’ ‘Why do we have to go through so much pain?’ and many, many others.

CoverI randomly open it each morning and read the answer I’ve opened to. It amazes me how it is always the one most relevant to how I’m feeling at that time. This book gives us hope and understanding of what is occurring and why. It helps us to see the bigger picture unfolding on Earth, as we all consciously evolve into loving, heart-felt human beings.

Both books and ebooks can be purchased online at – http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/JMS2011. (To purchase in your country’s currency, once the link opens, go to the top of the page and choose the flag symbol for your country 😊😊😊)

Happy reading, many blessings, Jodi-Anne

What to do when you feel broken?

by Dr. Jodi-Anne M Smith, posted in Personal Development, Self help techniques

There are days when you wake up and feel broken, like it is all too hard. Sometimes these will be rare and sometimes common. It just means you are in a process of change. Old muck is surfacing to be released – old pains, fears, doubts, disappointments and hurts. When this occurs it can feel like nothing is changing and life won’t get any better, but it already is better. You are just releasing the old, to see more clearly.

Your lives are okay as they are, it is your judgement of them that creates the pain. There may be things you would like to have change, this will occur in time, but dwelling on it, getting upset, angry or depressed about it, doesn’t resolve it in anyway. Feel and release the emotion, then take steps to create what you want – action is needed for change to manifest. Action on releasing your hurts, altering your thinking and action to change your every day habits and behaviours. If you always do what you have always done, is it surprising that you get the same outcome. Change is inevitable, it will come in small or large ways, chosen or forced on you by life events.

If you are feeling low, broken, sad, angry, hurt, know your body is asking for your attention, for your help to clear out the old and refill your body with lighter energy, a higher vibration outcome for all concerned.

If you are feeling so flat that you can’t be bothered doing anything, accept that and rest. Don’t fight it. If you are feeling lost and confused, wait for clarity, pray for guidance, meditate. There is no point trying to make a decision, it is not the right time. Wait for clarity to dawn, then act.

You can take baby steps towards improving your life, but in reality your life is okay, it is the way you are thinking about it, judging it that is causing you stress and anxiety. So what if you don’t love your job or you are alone or your friends don’t treat you the way you would like. Are you treating yourself kindly? lovingly? Work on your self first, on self love and when you anchor that in, you will see more goodness in the world and attract it in.

If you are exhausted, recovering from illness or a disappointment in life, of course you are going to feel flat. Don’t judge it, fight it, resist it. Accept it and honour your body’s needs. If it need rest, then rest. If it needs nourishment then eat some yummy, feel good, hopefully healthy food. If you need some fun, have it, even if it is just reading a comic or watching TV or chatting to a friend on the phone.

Do what you need to do to let your vibration rise and for you to start to feel better. A bath, a walk on the beach or out in nature will help wonders. Soothing music, candles, aromatherapy – lots can be done to life your mood simply and cheaply.

It is not always going to feel like this. Your body is processing past hurts and issues that you are remembering. If you are doubting your abilities, don’t wallow, find a way to build your skills if that is the issue, or to practice what you are concerned about, so that you feel more confident doing it. There’s always a way forward, you just have to be prepared to take it.

Choose kindness to yourself and others, and know that there is support around you at all times. Seen and not seen, physical and non-physical. There are beings of light watching over you, encouraging you, caring for you, holding your hand from afar. You can call on them, your ancestors and others who have passed over to assist you, support you, to hold you while you are feeling vulnerable. There is lots of support out there. Reach out for it when you need it and give it when you are feeling better. Everyone has their ups and downs, know it is just a phase and choose peace. Don’t fight against what is, just ease your way forward, helping your body in whatever way it needs. So be it. Amen.

By Jodi-Anne M Smith (14 October 2017).
Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.

If you find this information useful consider donating to support the sharing of more useful information, even $5 is a great help.

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How to shine your light brightly?

by Dr. Jodi-Anne M Smith, posted in Conscious Evolution, Personal Development, Self help techniques

Most of you think you have to do something special to shine your light, to make a difference to the world. You think you need to wait until your gifts have awoken, you have finished that course, read that book, achieved some goal. Those are all mind-activities, judgements on self that in essence say “I’m not good enough as I am, I am not special, unique, capable or interesting enough, I have to be more“.

We tell you there is no more needed, you are enough. You are all enough exactly as you are. When you can rest in your heart you will know this fully. When you are in your mind you doubt it. Drop into your heart. Take a deep breath and sit there. Sit there with the whisperings of your heart. What do you feel? What messages do you get? Breathe through any emotional pain and let your heart open wider. You may experience some physical pain in your body when you do this.

Most of us have put layer upon layer of armour around our hearts to protect our vulnerability, to stop us feeling the pain, the hurts from life. To awaken our vitality, our joy, our essence we need to let the armour go, let our hearts shine brightly to be seen, heard, felt. When you do this you radiate love, joy and peace. You uplift those around you just by your vibration.

You don’t have to do anything special, have any particular gift or ability, just a loving, open heart radiating peace out into the world. When you heal your hurts and align with your heart you are a powerful gift to the planet and all whom you interact with.

Each of you is this right now. You are just in the process of taking off your armour, the layers of density around your heart, to shine your light so brightly that it awakens others to feel their hurts, clear their hearts and sit in peace and essence.

You do not have to do anything in particular to reach this place. Life does it to you. Life brings you the situations, people and experiences you need to crack open your defenses and to melt back into oneness with your heart and all life. Life does it to you. You don’t need to do it. You don’t need to search, build yourself up. The process is the opposite. It is a stripping away of all that is false, all that is projected, to come back to your core, to see you are perfect as you are.

We each have our own specialness, our uniqueness, our own vibratory essence that serves the world just by existing. Follow your heart, let it guide you forth, to live a life that is meaningful to you, that sets your heart on fire, your mouth alive with anticipation, that has you dancing on the inside. You can and you will. Life is guiding you there.

Trust that what occurs to you is occurring for a purpose, there are no mistakes, no punishments, no luck – just life helping you shed that which no longer serves you, so you can show your true self, your essence to the world. It is enough to just be you. It is enough to be alive, breathing, coping with all that comes your way. It is enough to choose to live with love and kindness as your beacon guiding you through.

Most of us find it easier to be loving and kind to others, more so than we are to ourselves. You are learning to love and accept yourself. You are learning to honour who you are and to see it is enough. Just by being born – you are enough – you have a right to exist and be happy. Life will guide you to that place. So don’t fight against life and its events, know they are guiding you home, into your heart, so you can shine your light brightly, effortlessly being who you truly are. Blessed BE. Amen.

There’s no rush. This is life’s process. It is not up to you. Your core, your soul essence is in control, not you. Accept this and live peacefully. Fight against it and you will have unrest all your days. You cannot make yourself other than who you really are. You cannot make yourself better. You are perfect as you are.

Yes, you can learn and grow and that is the whole point of life, to evolve in love and happiness for all. But you are not changed at the level of the Soul. You just are that already. You are awakening to the realisation that you are already whole and complete, the work is already done, so you can relax and BE. There truly is nothing you have to achieve. Let your heart guide you forth and you will always feel at home, connected to love, life and all that you need. So be it. Amen.

By Jodi-Anne M Smith (3 July 2017).
Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.

If you find this information useful consider donating to support the sharing of more useful information, even $5 is a great help.

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Why do we worry so much?

by Dr. Jodi-Anne M Smith, posted in Healing from child abuse, Self help techniques

Worry is a form of self denial. Humans do it to negate their circumstances and keep themselves feeling small. If they would boldy choose, make a decision, act, life would proceed much more smoothly, but this would enable greater rates of change and change can be scary, confronting and uncomfortable. Worry therefore avoids this future discomfort by creating discomfort now!

It is like a brake on a car. It gets stomped on to slow things down. And just like pushing the accelerator and brake at the same time results in no movement, just wasted fuel and strain on the vehicle, the same occurs to the human body which feels pulled forward to act and worry stops it doing so.

Worry creates strain in the body, it improves nothing and in that sense is useless. Instead speak the truth to yourself. When facing potential conflict or a decision you are scared to make, simply say “I am unsure of what to do here. Instead of being nervous or worrying, I give myself permission to go slow until I have clarity on what to do”. That way you can still feel good and take the time you need. You don’t have to worry and feel bad to slow down taking action.

Likewise if the worry is due to fear of conflict or rejection, you can say to yourself “I am scared of being hurt in this situation. I am going to nurture myself and be kind to myself, knowing I feel vulnerable. I will love and accept myself, and that is what matters most. Whatever else does occur, I will be okay, because I will be loyal to myself and treat myself well. I am strong enough to cope with whatever occurs because I am my own best friend. If I sense danger I will simply leave and I will let someone know where I am going so they can check in with me after to see if I’m okay. I won’t force myself to do things I am not ready for. It is okay to take small steps towards my goals. It is okay to do what I need to do when I can and to wait and rest until I am able”.

Many of you push yourselves too hard. You simply expect too much of yourselves and then wonder why your body is feeling fatigued or less than 100% well. If you toss and turn at night, instead of sleeping, it is your body’s way of telling you – choose peace, choose calm, choose rest. If you toss and turn at night it is a sign that your nervous system is wound up tight, activated in fight or flight or worse in freeze or collapse. You can use Tension and Trauma Releasing Exercises (TRE) to help down-regulate your nervous system, to discharge the stress and tension. When your body is more relaxed and your mind quieter it is easier to sleep.

As your body relaxes through tremoring your nervous system calms and you start to feel safer in your body, less danger signals get sent to the brain, so your defences soften. You don’t need to be hypervigilant worrying about things so much. The body is only hyped up, worrying because part of you feels unsafe.

Honour yourself. Heal the part of you that is worrying, comfort and reassure them, they need your love. For it is just a part of you that is worried or scared. It is not your whole self. Just a part, a younger part that needs to feel safe, protected and looked after. That is your job, to support that younger, inner part of you, so they don’t need to sabotage your efforts to protect you from what they fear will happen. Send them love, thank them for caring about you and bathe them in healing golden light, so they can drop their burdens and cares. Invite them into your heart, hug them and welcome them home, to rest and recover in your heart centre, your sacred room of love. There they can rest and recover feeling safe, loved and at peace. They no longer need to be afraid as you will take care of things, they can relax. You will listen to their concerns and take any appropriate measures as a result.

There are many parts of you that have strong feelings or preferences as to how you act and listening to their concerns, befriending them and then deciding after weighing up their input, will result in much smoother outcomes. They won’t need to shout at you any more or keep you small. The loud inner voices which may have kept you in pain will quieten, as they feel heard, valued, and supported. You can then go about your life without negative interference from within.

In this sense you can see worrying is a form of protection, a part of your inner guidance system that you can learn from. When you do so, the worry drops away and life becomes much more peaceful and enjoyable. Blessed BE, Amen.

By Jodi-Anne M Smith (03 February 2017).
Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.

Why do we stay small?

by Dr. Jodi-Anne M Smith, posted in Conscious Evolution, Healing from child abuse, Health, Personal Development

There are many reasons for choosing to stay small – less risk, more comfort, safety from abuse or attack or ridicule, less effort required, less challenge faced. There are many reasons, but life won’t let you stay small for long. Outside events and inner forces will combine to propel you forward, to jettison you into the next greater version of yourself.

Life is about growth and expansion, it is about stepping beyond your comfort zone and doing what you love. To stay small is to shrivel and decay, to rot, to not grow and that is impossible.

Some stay small because that may have been a time when they received love, when life was simpler, less confusing. For others it was a time when they felt good things happened, when they trusted life and felt taken care of. There are many reasons people would prefer to stay child like or to bask in younger years, as opposed to truly being present and facing their now.

For many people the now is scary, too intimate, too confronting. To be fully present requires facing your feelings, acknowledging how you feel and if you are happy with your life. Much easier to be distracted, too busy, then you don’t have to think about it, feel too deeply into it.

Yes, let’s be busy, busy, busy – then we don’t notice our vitality and joy dropping, we don’t notice the stress building and ill health creeping in. Keep busy, busy, busy, with lots of noise and competing demands, that way you don’t have to face the truth of your life, your inner depths or your heart’s requests. So many people live like this.

Of course it is not ideal, but it is understandable, especially if you don’t feel you have any power to change things for the better. The truth is you always have the power to do so, just most don’t realise it or fear taking that first step into self leadership, self mastery, creating your life how you want it to be.

Resistance to being present in the now occurs when your body feels uptight, anxious and restless. There’s this baseline energy that you can feel when you slow down. For most people that energy isn’t calm and peaceful. It can be a slight unease, a feeling of being unsafe, anxious, uncertain of what to do or what’s needed to feel better. This is your nervous system in low level activation of fight or flight. If the activation is stronger then it can literally feel wrong, dangerous to be still. Your legs may bounce when you’re sitting down. Internally you’re agitated, wanting to move, to run away.

These activations occur at the subconscious level. We’re not even aware of them and we’re certainly not consciously choosing them. They result from the built up tension, stress and trauma in your body that sends signals to your brain telling it you are in danger, even if you’re actually safe right now.

The body isn’t at ease, hence many of us distract ourselves from being still, present in the now, which would lead us to feel that unease. Rather than distracting yourself from it by escaping or keeping busy, there is another choice. You can use embodiment practices like Tension and Trauma Release Exercises (TRE) to shake out the tension, stress and trauma, then your body will calm down and it will be easier to be present, to enjoy your now as your body will know it is safe to do so.

When we just keep busy we don’t heal the underlying issues. With TRE you can slowly shake out the unease bit by bit, gently and easily in your own time and space. Once learned you can use TRE whenever you like as part of your self-care routine. It is well worth learning so you can relax more, worry less and enjoy your now.

You are allowed to say no. You are allowed to decline that invitation and take time to rest. You are allowed to work less and live more simply. You are allowed to do what you want, not what is expected. You are allowed to honour yourself and do what you want. It is not selfish, not wrong. As long as you aren’t harming another, it is okay to choose self, to honour self. Our society would be a lot healthier if people did.

Because when you honour yourself and drop into your heart, what your heart wants is peace, harmony, stillness, connection, and love. The heart beats fast for love, for pleasure, for joy. It doesn’t have a selfish bone in its body, it is all about love and kindness for all. And when more people are resting in this state, there will be a lot less violence in the world. There will be a lot more sharing, compassion and understanding, a lot more assisting each other, accepting we are all the same race, the same species. We all suffer and go through loss and pain. We all grow and heal and need support. We all want to be loved and accepted for who we are. We all want to be seen and accepted, heard and valued, cared for and loved. That is our deepest need.

Many hide because they fear it won’t happen – they won’t be loved or accepted, they will be ridiculed or hurt in a myriad of ways. But to hide keeps you stuck, small and hurting. To come out into the light of day enables change, enables freedom, enables peace.

If you take the risk you will be guided forth to love and happiness. There will be obstacles to overcome along the way, but you will get there. You will find your tribe and your home, deep within your heart, connected to the mysteries of life and all that occurs here on Earth.

May we all stand up and shout “Here I am“. May we all be seen and valued. May those around us yell back “We see you and you are magnificent. Welcome home!” May we all find peace as quick as possible. Blessed BE. Amen.

By Jodi-Anne M Smith (24 January 2017).
Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and HEALING FROM CHILD ABUSE pages of this website.

Why do we isolate ourselves?

by Dr. Jodi-Anne M Smith, posted in Conscious Evolution, Personal Development

You isolate yourselves out of fear – fear of rejection mostly. You fear being seen and held accountable for all your sinful actions, however little they are. Most people believe they are bad, wrong, have things to be shameful of. This comes from your childhood conditioning where most of you were constantly told “Don’t do that, you’re a bad little boy or girl, etc.” This constant or common negative feedback leads to an internalisation of thinking that you as a person is bad, as opposed to just your behaviour, which may have been less than desirable.

self_isolation_2014__sergei_tuninIt hurt to feel bad, to feel like you were actually bad or wrong, broken or flawed, so you learned to hide those aspects of yourself and to go within more, to withdraw from life, from showing your whole self and acting spontaneously.

From a young age children learn to guard against unwanted attention and criticism. They carefully choose their words  and how to behave in different situations. Instead of being themselves, they be and do what they think the other person wants them to be. They resent doing this and feel a little fake, but the fear of criticism, rejection and feeling bad about self is so strong that they want to avoid it at all cost.

The result is modified behaviour to fit in, feeling you are not really liked for who you really are, you are not really known and the belief that if someone did see all of you then they would probably reject you. When in fact, the truth is you have rejected you. You stopped showing who you were, because you judged it not good enough, not acceptable and not okay. Others may have fed this, but you took it to heart and rejected yourself.

The rejection leads to the isolation and a lot of loneliness and depression. In a world where so many people live side by side, it amazes us that you don’t connect with each other. You show these false images and put on these false performances, attempting to impress each other and gain approval. You don’t need to do it. You truly don’t.

Just be yourself. Gift yourself with your own approval. It is okay to be you. It truly is. You are all beautiful human beings, who are living their life journey the best they can. You may have made some poor choices along the way, that is okay. No need to regret it or punish yourself. You don’t need to make amends, just learn from it, do better next time. That is how we learn and grow as people. So let yourself off the hook for past deeds. You have punished yourself long enough. Stop.

It doesn’t have to be this way. That self-loathing and judgment is just from the past hurts and pain of your experience. If you release the pain, the buried tension and emotions, then your body will relax and open back up to more loving interactions with yourself and others.

Each time we experience a hurt emotionally it is like we contract. We withdraw our energy within to protect our self. We curl up inside instead of being open and outwardly focused with our energy and life force. We dim it and contain it to protect it, locking ourselves up within. This leads to tight muscles, physical soreness and pain as those parts of our body are clenched, storing that painful emotion and tension within.

To heal we have to release these contractions and tensions, so that our muscles relax and release the stagnant energy. When our body releases this tension it is easier to face life with a positive outlook as we no longer feel under threat. We no longer want to avoid conflict at the cost of not living life. We’ve realised we can cope with whatever comes as we can ‘shake off’ the tension and stress, complete the trauma activations and discharge the emotions. Yes, life may bring us some challenges, but we know how to deal with it, so we no longer need to hide and isolate.

We can use tools like Tension and Trauma Release Exercises (TRE) to ‘shake out’ the tension, stress and trauma, so we can face life and live, instead of hiding to protect our self from further pain. With regular use of TRE we realise we can embrace life and live fully instead of hiding and protecting our self to avoid further pain, loss or danger. It is well worth using TRE to heal and build your resilience to face life and live it more fully.

Choose kindness. Choose love. Treat yourself with the tenderness and affection that you long for. Meet your own emotional needs. When you do this your body can relax, your heart can open and you can show more of your true self to the world again. It will feel a bit scary from time to time and you will feel vulnerable, but that is okay. Breathe through it and know whatever happens, you are okay, you are loved and you are enough. You truly are. You don’t need to isolate anymore. None of you do.

rainbow-bridge-in-heartYou are precious children of God. You are loved and perfect as you are. No flaws, no mistakes, no bad eggs. You are all made in his image and all evolving into beings of love and light. What you see as flaws are just the areas yet to mature or evolve into a  place of love and acceptance, of self, others and the planet. It truly can be a planet of peace, but you need to find it within, through self love and acceptance and then it will mirror out into the world.

Peace will come when enough people are living from their hearts and that vibration becomes the dominant force here on Earth. That time is near. Each of you is bringing it closer as you heal and find peace within you. You help the world and others more than you know. It is not selfish to focus on healing and consciousness. You are serving the whole when you do so and we applaud you.

We watch you and cheer in your successes. We stand near and comfort you when you are sad and we keep you safe when you are panicked or angry. We are always here watching you. We are your loved ones, your guides, angels and ascended masters, the great white brotherhood, here to assist humanity with its awakening. Blessed BE, Amen.

By Jodi-Anne (13 June 2016).
Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.