Author: Dr. Jodi-Anne M Smith

Jodi-Anne is a Wellbeing Educator, Counsellor and Healing Facilitator. She shares information via her videos, website, workshops, books, and coming soon online courses. She conducts individual appointments in person and online assisting individuals to heal and find peace. She is a qualified counsellor specialising in healing from trauma and abuse, utilising Family Constellations, Tension & Trauma Release Exercises (TRE), Psych-K, and Crystal Light Bed Therapy. To learn more visit https://www.jodiannemsmith.com/

What is the best way to heal after an abortion?

3 October 201528 August 2021 by Dr. Jodi-Anne M Smith, posted in Health, Personal Development, Self help techniques

An abortion causes a death not only to the fetus, but also inside the parents. The guilt, shame and grief that results is enormous. Some push it away, pretend it didn’t happen. Some get angry and want to blame their circumstances or the other person. Some want to die themselves or punish themselves for their choices. None of this is helpful.

What helps most is to honour the child, to love them, to thank them for choosing you as a parent and to acknowledge the truth that you weren’t willing to accept the role. Thank them for choosing you and make it clear that you were not ready or capable for whatever reasons, but you love and accept them into your heart. You did not reject the child itself. It is worthy of life, of love, of acceptance. You were just not able to provide it at the time. This is the truth that must be heard and honoured, so that soul does not feel alone, abandoned, rejected and lives in pain. Let it live in love inside your heart.

“I honour you for wanting to be with me, to have me be your parent. I honour that and I wish you well. I pray you find soul’s more willing than I, who say yes, next time you attempt to birth into life on Earth”.

Imagining them happy with new parents is beneficial. You give them permission to move on and the same for yourself. There is no benefit from getting sick, dying, staying small or unsuccessful or childless. You are allowed to be happy, successful, healthy and be a good, loving parent when you are ready.

You do not have to miss out on life just because the child did. Choose instead to do something good to honour the child. Donate to an orphanage, honour a foster child, carry a photo of your loved one in your heart, share your story with the world to help others. Make sure something good occurs as a result of the experience and the child’s sacrifice.

“Because of you I have healed my wounds and become a better person. I am no longer focused on my career at the expense of everything else. I am no longer so caught up in my head that I don’t hear my heart. Because of you I have faced my hurt and processed it. I have become a better person and I will use it to help others who also need to heal and hear their heart’s messages. Because of you I am living a healthier life and when I do get pregnant again I will realise how lucky I am and will be grateful. I will never again take it for granted or so lightly. I now realise the seriousness of my choice and the severe consequences that can result. I will not make reckless or thoughtless choices again. I will honour all who come across my path. Because of you and the pain I felt at your loss, I have learned what it is like to suffer needlessly, to be deeply depressed and to regret your choices. I will be better able to empathise with others who also suffer, due to my experiences with you. I will be a better person, Mother and therapist, because of you. Thank you for the many gifts you have given me. May you also receive gifts and blessings throughout your life that lead to your soul’s evolutionary growth. Thank you for being that catalyst for me.”

If you can find some form of the above, some form of value that has resulted from the experience, it can help shift the guilt and blame, pain and sadness. It can help awaken hope, love and light – allowing life again.

Know that every soul gets exactly what it needs to experience for its evolution. They choose what will occur prior to incarnating. So a child knows in advance whether or not it will get born or die young. This is known to the soul/spirit of the child and because it is still in spirit form before birth, it is still connected to God/Source and knows what is occurring.

Those souls that choose to be miscarried or aborted have chosen that experience. They may not be ready for a full life experience and just want a taste. They may choose to go through it to assist the Mother and bring new life into her body – the cells growing and cleansing her body of the old. There can be many reasons. The soul may choose the experience knowing it will be a catalyst to shift the parents out of their current slumber – to improve things or leave the relationship. God and that soul knows the reasons. You will too once you pass over and see the reasons for all events in your life and what they were teaching you and helping you evolve.

There are no mistakes, everything happens perfectly for the evolution of all souls. So forgive yourself, accept your choices, feel the pain and let it go. Vow to do better next time and honour the child that was and those that come after. Choose to honour the child by living your life fully. You are allowed to enjoy your life and be happy. That is what God wants for you and all souls.

You have not sinned or killed. It was not your intent to brutally slaughter the child. It is not the same as murder at all. Your circumstances, your maturity level, all led to your choice. With greater wisdom you would have chosen differently. But at the time you did what you thought was best. Do not ruin the rest of your life over that choice. Let yourself off the hook and be happy. Live fully and be a loving parent when the time is right. It truly is okay and you have been forgiven – by God, by the soul involved. You just have to forgive yourself. You can do it.

If you are struggling seek help and support from loved ones, a therapist or a support group. So many people have experienced this. It is actually quite common, it is just not talked about. You don’t have to suffer alone. Reach out and get the assistance you need.

You can use Tension and Trauma Release Exercises (TRE) to help release the stress, tension and trauma, so that you can relax more, come out of numbness, depression and shut down.

TRE can help you to shake out the pain, teh dense emotion and stuck energy, so that you come back to life more fully. You can use it regularly as part of your self-care routine. Once you have learned TRE and how to self-regulate your shaking you can use TRE for free at home whenever you want to help you and your body to relax and find peace. It is well worth doing.

By Jodi-Anne (05 Aug 2015).

Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.

What is the best way to respond to a disobedient child?

26 September 201530 October 2021 by Dr. Jodi-Anne M Smith, posted in Parenting, Personal Development

A child disobeys when they feel unheard, unvalued, their view not considered important enough to be listened to. A child disobeys when they don’t understand why they are being asked to do a certain thing. They rebel when what they are asked to do ‘feels wrong’ and takes them away from their joy, their heart’s guidance.

Some times it is appropriate for a child to disobey, to learn assertiveness, to set boundaries. Some times disobeying is the healthiest action they can take to honour themselves and their needs. It is not always wrong or destructive to disobey.

If it is a small child, a toddler, the best way to respond is to calmly explain why you need them to do what you are asking them to do.

“Mummy needs you to be quiet now, because she is tired and needs some rest. You know what it is like to be tired and sad, don’t you? How about having a cuddle with Mummy and a nap?”

A child will empathise with this information. They will understand why it is beneficial to you for them to be quiet and what’s more you have created a win-win situation. To the child they now have the opportunity to choose connection and receiving love / affection / nurturing, which feels good to them – and as a bonus they will get to feel proud of themselves for helping Mummy – win, win, win!

Try to create such beneficial solutions so the child gets to choose something that meets your needs and theirs. By creating a win-win there is less need for struggle or resistance.

If it is an older child, 6 or 7, then you can explain things in a little more detail. You can ask them how they are feeling and what they need right now. There is a reason for their behaviour. If you can understand the thoughts behind it, you can then discuss alternative ways of seeing situations and choices of how to react. Teaching and role modelling emotional intelligence is important.

“Remember last week when Mummy stubbed her toe on the fridge, she hopped and screamed until it stopped hurting. Mummy was tempted to throw something in anger or to hit the fridge, but she didn’t did she? What did Mummy do? That’s right, Mummy stood still and breathed deeply until the pain stopped. That breathing allowed all the anger to flow out of her and back into Mother Earth. Next time when you get angry let’s try breathing through it and seeing the anger flow out of us back to Mother Earth?

Shall we practice now? When were you last angry? What was it about? Imagine that now, can you see it? How does it feel? What do you want to do? Okay, let’s practice visualising / seeing the anger as energy inside us, see it flowing our our body, down into the Earth. Great! How did you go?”

Doing these types of activities fosters closeness between you and your child, as well as helping them build skills in controlling and releasing their emotions. Remember you are their role model, they learn from what you do. If they see you raging about traffic blocks or income limits or whatever else, then that is how they learn to respond to life’s challenges too.

Be the best role model you can be. And if you slip up and you do something less than ideal explain to them what happened, so you both learn from it and so they are not scared of you and your reactions.

“I am sorry Mummy yelled at you, but this is the third time this week that you have tracked mud inside on your shoes. Mummy doesn’t enjoy cleaning the floors over and over again. I just got upset at the thought of having to do it again, and I felt like you hadn’t listened to me. When you don’t listen Mummy feels hurt like you don’t care about what Mummy says. I know you probably just forgot and you didn’t do it deliberately. And I know you certainly didn’t do it to hurt Mummy’s feelings, but that is how I felt.

Do you remember how upset you got when Tommy kept taking your truck and hiding it? It is the same sort of thing. How did that feel to you? That’s right, you didn’t like it, you felt like Tommy was mean and selfish. Mummy felt like that too, like you didn’t care you were making a mess and that Mummy would clean it up. How about we clean it up together and we put a sign on the door at your height so that you see it before coming inside from playing in the backyard? Should we make the sign together? Yes, okay, how big should it be? What colours do we need? …………”

In this way you are teaching the child problem solving and emotional intelligence skills. You are making it clear it is the behaviour that you dislike. It is not the child itself that you are unhappy with. This distinction is very important. If you imply the child is careless, stupid, lazy, clumsy, inconsiderate, etc, then they will feel bad about them self and naturally will respond with hurt feelings – sulking, tantrum, lashing out. They will feel wounded by your words and feel bad about themselves. This is not helpful, it adds to low self esteem and feeling not good enough.

Make it clear it is the behaviour you didn’t like and you can choose to behave differently. Therefore “It is not you, just your choices that I would like to see change. I love you, I honour you, I am grateful you are my son, I just need you to help me out sometimes by listening to what I say and doing what I ask.”

Of course there are times when it won’t work, no matter what you say. If a child is over tired, exhausted, hungry there is no point trying to reason with them then. Let them rest. Let them rebuild their energy reserves, then you can talk about it.

Sometimes you need to postpone your needs being met and look at what the child is going through. “Honey, why are you so upset? You came in from school and threw your bag against the wall and stormed off into your room. Are you okay? Do you want to talk about it?” This would be a more helpful response than yelling at the child for leaving his or her bag and stuff lying around.

If you take the time to listen to them and their emotions, they are much more likely to listen to yours, when you need to explain something to them. Be compassionate. Be empathetic. Be honest and sincere. And most of all be loving.

If it is a teenager who is being disobedient, you need to pick your battles. Let minor things go and only challenge them on issues that you believe are serious enough to warrant discussion.

Teenage years are very challenging for all concerned. As a teen the child is experiencing volatile changes in their body, raging hormones, they are questioning who they are and their value. “Am I smart enough, pretty enough, am I going to succeed in life or not?” They are going through a deep reflective time where they soul search. They may not like who they are or what they have in life, they may doubt their ability to have a happy life and these are heart breaking questions to grapple with. There is lots of fear, anguish, grief and anxiety. This can bottle up until it explodes out in anger or tears.

They are going through a lot so give them space. Let them know that you love them and you are here for them if they want to talk about it. They may not want to. They may feel too embarrassed to do so or be so confused inside that they can’t put how they feel into words. Honour them and this process.

Let them know you love them regularly. Let them know you are proud of them and believe in them. Compliment them on their abilities and when you see them doing something positive.

“I’m really proud of how you handled that situation. You were very polite and considerate giving that old lady the chance to sit on your seat in the bus. That was a very nice thing to do.” “Thank you for tidying up your stuff without me asking you to do it. It makes me really happy to see that you will be able to keep a neat, healthy home when you are older” “But, Mum, I just needed to find something, I wasn’t doing it deliberately.” “I know honey, I’m just glad you did it”.

If you can compliment children often, you help them to build a sense of ‘Yes, I am okay. I am a good person. I can do things’. These are all positive core beliefs which will help build self esteem and their ability to lead a healthy, happy life.

Children are no different to us adults. Some times they are wiser as they haven’t learned to filter their thoughts or ignore their emotions. They haven’t learned to suppress their needs to please others. They can be more emotionally honest in this sense – even if it is turbulent and explosive!

We all need to build our stress management and emotional intelligence skills. If you are stressed and tense take action to calm your body and nervous system. You can spend time outdoors in nature, use some essential oils, listen to some soothing music or watch a television program you like. You can have a hot bath, go for a walk, do some yoga or deep breathing. There’s lots you can do to quickly calm down and start to feel a little better.

Tension and Trauma Release Exercises (TRE) can help to shift the tension and stress out of your body so that your nervous system calms down and you balance back up. Once you have learned TRE and how to self-regulate you can use TRE at home whenever you like so that your body and mind calms down, worries less and is more peaceful.

When your body is uptight, tense, stressed, it sends messages to your brain as it feels you are in danger and that it is not safe to relax. Hence your brain scans for danger. Your nervous system is hypervigilant looking for the threat. In this wound up state it’s easy to over react to minor things.

When you’re calmer, when your body and nervous system is more relaxed it’s easier to engage with others from a more playful place, a calmer, more peaceful place. TRE can help you to down-regulate your nervous system and be in a more relaxed state which is beneficial for you and your children. TRE is safe for kids to do too, so that they are calmer and can enjoy life more.

If you get upset at your child, ask yourself ‘Why am I reacting? What am I assuming?’ You may find that you are feeling disrespected, not cared for or loved. That is your issue from your past, for you to resolve.

Your child was not deliberately disrespecting you when they ate candy before dinner. They saw candy, went yum and ate it. They feel good eating candy and wanted to feel good. That’s as complex as it gets. They didn’t stop to think about the impact or consequences of eating it and they certainly didn’t think ‘I want to piss Mum off, I know, I am going to eat all this candy, make myself sick on sugar, and refuse to eat my dinner. That will upset her. Yeah, I’m going to do that!’

Kids just do what feels good – they play, sing, dance, laugh, roll in the mud, etc. They are not plotting against you. There is no such thing as a willful child. Look at the situation from their perspective and see what they see.

Squeezing the toothpaste all over the floor is fun – it makes noises, it squelches, it comes out in patterns, it ….. If you don’t want them to do it, remove it from their reach. Remove the temptation.

And take care of yourself so that you are not exhausted and reactive. Take care of yourself so you do have the energy to listen to and play with them. Take care of yourself so you can be a healthy role model for them and so you can enjoy life. It is meant to be fun after all. Blessed BE. Amen.

Channeled by Jodi-Anne (05 Aug 2015).

See more answers to pertinent life questions on the Life Insights page of this website.

Why is mental illness increasing?

19 September 20153 July 2021 by Dr. Jodi-Anne M Smith, posted in Healing from child abuse, Health

There are higher rates of mental illness in society as people are living more disconnected lives. Parents are busy working and earning money for possessions, they do not have the depth or quality time required for deep bonding with a child. Without the bonding children do not develop a strong sense of being loved, lovable, acceptable or okay. They are left wondering whether they are lovable or not. This is the seed of mental illness – this questioning of self, this doubt as to one’s acceptability or not. It leads to self hatred / abuse and less ability to connect deeply with others for fear of rejection and loss.

People therefore isolate themselves and feel lonely, cold, separate and this too is emotionally painful. All of these sad, negative feeling emotions get bottled up and become the dominant, most common feelings in their life experience. Naturally this low vibration state results in depression and passivity. The person feels stuck, unable to pull themselves out of the situation.

Poor diet makes the situation worse and can result in sugar and hormone imbalances. Lack of exercise also results in imbalances that could be easily rectified. Serotonin and other brain chemicals can be balanced naturally – rest, spend time in nature, nurture and love yourself. This is hard to do when you feel you don’t deserve love or aren’t worthy of it. It feels like a waste of time to try and improve when it feels so bad and overwhelming.

Clearly it is at the mental level and emotional level that most work needs to be done to clear up negative thinking and expectations and open up to love. The emotions need to be felt and released so the person can balance back up to their natural state of peace and joy. It is possible. They just have to do the healing/transformational work.

False chemicals can help in the short term e.g. antidepressants or hormones/brain chemicals. But it is better if the body heals itself and starts producing the required chemical itself. This can and does happen. Exercise increases levels of serotonin and other endorphins, diet can also influence it, as of course can changes in thinking. The body can rebuild itself.

You live at paces that your body was not designed for. The frantic busyness of modern life leads to stress, fatigue and burn out. More and more people are affected and when they can’t cope internally with the pressure of their life it gets called mental illness. However, the solution in most cases is simple – simplify your lives; heal your emotional pain; learn to love and accept who you are; learn to be the the kind parent to yourself that you needed when little; learn to laugh and play and accept what comes; let go of trying to control life or impress others. Be yourself. That is enough. Life wants you to be your authentic self – live from your heart – follow / act on your passions, be of service to all in your own unique way.

By liberating yourself from the rat race, you show others it can be done and that they also could choose to do it – to choose freedom, simplicity, health, deeper connection with self, others and the Earth. This is healthy. This is how you are meant to live. It is all about love. If children are conceived in love, raised with love, learn how to love and respect themselves, others and the Earth there would be lower rates of mental illness.

Yes the pollution of food, air, water, soil does have some impact, but it is relatively minor compared to the internal pollution from negative, self loathing thoughts and painful emotions locked inside. These eat away at your spirit, your zest for life and leave you feeling flat, exhausted and low – a recipe for lethargy, depression and therefore mental illness.

Have a spring clean of your internal closet and let go of the darkness. Let the light, bright, colourful aspects of yourself come to the fore. You truly can enjoy life more fully. You just have to clean out the old and make room for the new to enter and anchor into your vibration. You can heal all pains with time, energy, love and awareness.

See the bigger picture and purpose of life, realise that ‘negative’ events in your life occurred to help you grow and evolve and are leading you onto something greater in yourself that could not have been achieved without that event.

Life is a mystery. Things happen. You can’t control it, but you can choose how you respond to it. You can choose to wallow in pain and regret and depression or choose to make the most of what you have and live life fully embracing all that comes your way – the choice is yours.

Mental illness or health is a choice in the sense that you can learn the skills to bring you back to balance, back to peace and joy.

Tension and Trauma Release Exercises (TRE) can help you to discharge the tension and stress in your body that has you on hyper alert. It can help your body and nervous system to calm down so that you can see more clearly rather than seeing through the lens of trauma and past experiences.

TRE can help set you free of the emotional pain and discharge it so that you can live in the now seeing life around you from a more open and positive perspective. While the pain and trauma is inside you it taints your view of the world and prevents you from relaxing, feeling safe and enjoying life more fully.

TRE can be done at home regularly to help you slowly, bit by bit to release the tension and flow more freely with life. If you have trouble moving through your emotions when they come up you may need to work with a TRE provider first for a little while so you can learn to self-regulate, but after that you can use it for free for the rest of your life as a tool to help you reduce stress, tension and trauma so you can live life more peacefully doing what you want in life.

You can’t control what happened in your past or what will occur in the future, but you can control how you respond to it and how you let it affect your life. Your reactions are your choice and you can change the way you react by altering your thoughts; altering your emotional balance inside; and by changing your expectations or core beliefs. There are many ways to do this. They are just skills to learn, that all of humanity would benefit from, so you could all live in peace and harmony.

By Jodi-Anne (31 July 2015).

Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.

How to move through depression and find peace

12 September 201519 April 2020 by Dr. Jodi-Anne M Smith, posted in Healing from child abuse, Health, Self help techniques

Depression occurs when a person has not been able to express their emotions and has bottled them up inside. Their bodies are full of sadness, grief, anger and emotional pain – shame, guilt and more. Through life’s many challenges the person has faced the difficulty, but come out of it wounded, disappointed and dismayed – wondering if that is all there is to life.

In their dismay and disappointment they shut down from life and the possibility of joy, love and peace. They come to expect further hurt, loss and pain, so [they] hide away from life and interacting with others who they fear will judge and ridicule them for feeling the way they do.

What they don’t realise is that everyone goes through challenges, disappointments, and disturbances to life as they knew it. Things happen. People die, jobs end, heart attacks occur. These challenges come unexpectedly and can knock a person from peace and balance into a negative spin. Every one goes through it. There is no shame in struggling to cope with life’s pressures. You just need to learn how to process and release the emotions, the pent up energy and pain, so that you return to a state of balance and peace.

Mental work is required to adjust thinking patterns and come to allow hope, positive expectations of the future – to know ‘Good things can and will happen for me’; ‘I am a good person and I deserve good things’.

Often once a person feels blue they start to beat themselves up – to feel less than others, not okay, incompetent. This just worsens the situation as they then get stuck at home not wanting to go out and face the world. They don’t want to reach out for help or tell anyone as they are so embarrassed and ashamed, but really reaching out is what is needed.

Trying something new, making friends, having fun, speaking your truth, feeling your emotions and breathing through them, learning to witness them and not be overwhelmed by them – creating distance between them and you – the emotions and your true self – all help. They are just skills that need to be learned, as is being nice and supportive to yourself – eating well, exercising, moving through emotions with kindness to self, nurturing and nourishing self.

Many people when depressed feel like trash, worthless and that is how they treat themselves. They need to move from that to seeing themselves as someone who has temporarily lost focus and just needs love and support to get back on track.

They need to become the kind, loving parent to themselves – giving themselves permission to rest when needed and to play and enjoy life. It sounds easy to do, but it is very challenging as when you are depressed your energy is so dense, low in vibration, that it is hard to hear your intuition or higher self. It is hard to get guidance from within or from spirit. You don’t feel the spiritual support all around you as your vibration is such that their messages can’t get through.

You can shift your vibration higher by movement – exercise or dance.
You can walk in nature or at the beach and let Mother Nature cleanse you.
You can listen to music that uplifts you or even chakra balancing CDs which help shift the blockages, making it easier to access them and release the emotion.
You can have a relaxing bath with salt in it to cleanse your energy body and release toxins. It helps to relax your muscles as well.
Body work – massage, reiki, etc, all helps as it aids the body to move out of its lethargic state and to let light and energy back in.
Breathing in gold light and seeing it flood your whole body – purifying it and cleansing it, also helps.
There are many activities that can help. Writing a diary, drawing or painting how you feel – it all helps shift the current low vibration of your body to a higher state.

The key is accessing and releasing the buried emotions as this is what keeps a person stuck in depression. They feel they can’t go on, they can’t face anything more as they feel they wouldn’t cope and it’s not worth the effort or risk to try. This type of thinking leads to fear and paralysis.

When your body is full of fear and you feel stuck, paralysed, unable to move forward, you are stuck in a freeze reaction. Your nervous system is overwhelmed and in a sense has shut down, it’s frozen and moved into collapse.

This is a normal process that occurs when a person has experienced or is in the process of experiencing trauma. You move through fight or flight into freeze and then into collapse.

In the frozen state, the body is still hoping the predator threatening you won’t see you and you’ll get to stay alive. You’re frozen, but still on hyperalert ready to flee if you get the chance. This is exhausting for the body as it uses up a lot of energy. It’s like you’ve got your foot on the brake and the gas pedal at the same time primed ready to act but staying still.

If escape seems impossible and death seems imminent you move into dissociation and collapse. Here your body is pumped full of natural endorphins, opioids, to numb you so you don’t feel the predator’s attack and what occurs to your body. This is why when you’re depressed you can feel detached, numb, not really present to what is occurring around you.

All of these bodily reactions are an innate mechanism that occurs at the subconscious level. You don’t choose to be numb and shutdown. Your body does it automatically to protect itself.

To come out of this state you need to calm your body so it feels safe again and can relax. One way to do that is by using Trauma and Tension Release Exercises (TRE). It is the body’s natural tremoring mechanism to release stress, tension and trauma. It can help calm your body down out of hyperarousal back through fight and flight, and down to calm relating, which is our natural baseline when we feel safe and supported.

Learning to witness your thoughts and watch them pass through your mind is another key. You don’t have to respond to the thoughts, be hooked by them, to go into the drama they try to create. Thank the thought and let it go.

Tell yourself positive messages –

‘I choose to be kind and loving to myself now’.
‘Even though I have done things I am not proud of in the past, I am now choosing to behave differently’. ‘
Even though others I cared for didn’t seem to love me, I am choosing to love me now’.
‘I am okay, I am worthy of love and life’.

All of these belief systems need to be programmed into the body and lots, lots more. Every negative self belief or belief about life can be changed. There are many ways to do this.

You can simply repeat the positive belief over and over until it becomes your new habit – like writing and displaying affirmations to help anchor it into your consciousness.
You can see a practitioner of the Lifeline Technique, Pysch-K or other modalities that reprogram the subconscious mind – literally replacing the old belief with the new one.
You can use EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) also called Tapping to tap the new belief into your system

There are lots of ways to do it, but the key is to realise that it is these old, outdated negative thought patterns that keep a person feeling so flat and depressed. If their thoughts are really negative it is hard to motivate yourself into action. So it is here with the negative thoughts that change has to occur.

There are many tools you can use to help shift depression. It is just a matter of trying different things and finding what works best for you.

Know that simply staying stuck won’t work. You need to take action to change your situation. Depression is so common in today’s world that no one will laugh or ridicule you for it. There is lots of help out there.

If your emotional pain is so deep that you become suicidal then it can be useful to go on anti-depressants temporarily to give your body a chance to relax and restrengthen, before you delve into processing the emotions. You will still need to go through them and release them, but building your stamina first can help.

Anti-depressants are not a cure, just a temporary dulling of the intensity of the emotions, so you don’t feel them so much. They numb you slightly to the pain and this can be beneficial for a short while. It is not beneficial long time as it will not help you to find peace, joy or excitement in life. With your doctor’s help you can reduce the anti-depressant while you learn new skills to support yourself to function more effectively.

Depression results from emotional pain and disappointments in life, so people who suffer it need love, support and encouragement from those around them. Be kind to all people you interact with, as everyone is going through their own challenges and all need kindness and love to help them through.

Peace is found once the old thinking and negative emotions are released. These are replaced with joy, passion, fun and happiness. It is possible. It is your natural state of being, just life’s experiences took you away from it. We can all regain balance and peace if we do the work needed to shift that which no longer serves us and to fill the space with that which does. Blessed BE. Amen.

By Jodi-Anne (10 July 2015).

Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.

What are the most beneficial parenting actions?

5 September 2015 by Dr. Jodi-Anne M Smith, posted in Parenting

Anything that parents do which makes a child feel loved, accepted, wanted and cared for is beneficial. There is no set formula, it will be different in each household.

Basic ingredients include listening to the child, telling them they are loved, spending time with them, complimenting them when they do something right / behave appropriately. Praise creates a sense of pride in the child who will want to do the right thing again to receive further praise. It helps to build healthy self esteem and a sense of ‘I can do things, I am capable’ which are great core beliefs to have.

Spending time together outdoors in nature is powerful connector for the child to Source and to the flow of life. Children love to play in nature, to watch the plants and insects go through their life cycle. Have a vegie and flower garden that kids can help you with. Teach them to value and respect the Earth as well as each other.

It is important for children to interact with others their own age, but it is preferable if this is unstructured play so they can use their imaginations and creative side of the brain. Too much structured play and competition with self – to do better each time, or competition with others forces a more linear, rational side of the brain to become dominant. Then a child is less spontaneous, more robotic, more determined to succeed at the expense of all else. Let them be children. Let them play.

Don’t set goals to achieve or place pressure on them to learn languages, music, etc if they have not expressed an interest in it or they don’t enjoy it. Let their lives be joyous and if that is their foundation it will be easier for them to be joyous throughout their lives. Don’t deaden them to achieve, work hard and sacrifice their dreams and desires to fit in or to be ‘realistic’ and succeed in life.

A successful life is one where the person is happy within and is being of service to the whole / to the community, doing something they love. It may be music, art, gardening, sport or a hobby that fills their heart and others hearts with joy – an act of beauty that touches people. It doesn’t have to be financially successful. That is a poor measure of a successful life. Yes, you want them to be comfortable and able to support themselves and any future family they have, but it is best done through a job that they enjoy, rather than one they feel they should do.

Give them the freedom to do what they want and they will succeed. Encourage any natural talents and tendencies they show from a young age – that is often their gifts showing through. If they show great interest in building things then help them through buying them the kits to construct different devices. If they show aptitude in music then buy them the musical instrument of choice for them to use. Support them to follow and maximize their passion, then they will enjoy life more fully. They will know it is okay to do what they want and that they deserve to have what they want.

Don’t worry about making them an all rounder. Some kids are athletic, some aren’t. Don’t try to force a square peg in a round hole. It hurts kids quite a lot when they are forced to do something they don’t like. They often feel pathetic, not good enough, not capable, etc which is not a beneficial set of core beliefs to foster. Better off to let them revel in what they are good at. It is okay to help them build the skills in other areas in a fun, playful way – just don’t force them to spend lots of time on it, don’t be too serious about it and make it clear that you love them no matter what. They need to know they are loved for who they are, not for what they can do. Give lots of positive feedback and tell them they are loved and special. Then they will grow with a strong sense of self esteem.

It is good for kids to do chores, to help around the house, to learn that you all have certain tasks to do to help the family enjoy life. Do not make these boring or hard work. Make chores fun by playing games as you clean up rooms or do dishes. Teach them to use their imaginations when doing a repetitive task. You can have quite a fantasy going through your mind as you do a simple task such as weeding the garden or mowing the lawn. Thank them for helping. Tell them you are proud of their kindness and support their passions.

Most children will thrive under these conditions. It is only when they are yelled at, belittled, left alone too much, etc, that they develop a low sense of self esteem and that makes everything harder as their starting thoughts are ‘I can’t’ instead of ‘I can’.

You set up their core beliefs from what they experience in the first 6 years of life. Everything they see, hear, feel gets absorbed into their minds and forms their core conditioning. Help it be positive through providing a loving home, kind words of praise and acceptance, and a fun atmosphere in which to learn and grow. Then the kids will thrive.

It’s okay for the parents to work or for a child to go to day care. It is not about quantity of time together as much as quality. If a child feels safe and loved at home and at child care then they will thrive. If they feel unsafe then they won’t. So find the right place and people to care for your child so he/she has fun, feels loved and thrives regardless of the fact that you are not there. When you do get time together make sure you do pay attention and connect deeply with your child, listening to how their day has been, asking questions and sharing stories. Cook tea together or do dishes together so that you get to have enough time connecting. Once a child feels seen / heard, their cup is full of love, then they are content to be on their own or with others. They don’t need to be with you all the time or even interacting closely with you. A child who has had their needs met will happily go play by himself or with others, as he/she is content, fulfilled, knows they are loved, accepted and okay. And that is what we wish for all children. Blessed BE. Amen.

By Jodi-Anne (25 June 2015).

Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.

How do we heal from child abuse?

29 August 201526 July 2021 by Dr. Jodi-Anne M Smith, posted in Healing from child abuse

A child who was neglected, beaten, belittled or raped as a child will have grown with high levels of fear in their body. They will have learned to always be on guard, to watch out for danger, to not trust anyone and be alone. They have learned to focus on survival at the expense of joy, friendship and love. A child abused does not know how to relax and be peaceful. They don’t know how to receive or give love as that doesn’t feel safe. They have shut off from the softer sides of life and hardened themselves to cope with all the pain, grief, loss, anger, shame and rage. They are a powder-keg of emotions that are held together by strong armouring and defense mechanisms designed to protect them from experiencing further hurt.

To heal from child abuse all this damage needs to be undone so light can enter and soothe the dark spaces within, so love can enter and melt the sadness away, so peace can enter and joy can flood their cells returning them to their natural state of being.

Healing is a long process of becoming aware of the conditioning and patterning and allowing it to be dismantled. It takes courage to risk opening back up. It takes bravery to feel and release the buried emotions and it takes great commitment to continue unraveling layer upon layer of beliefs and armouring that have kept the person isolated and safe. It takes a lot of physical energy for the body to process these shifts as each layer drops away.

Children who have been abused often feel worthless, unloved, unwanted and not good enough. Healing involves changing these beliefs to realise the truth that you are loved, wanted, cared for and provided for. Life will bring experiences to help with these awakenings and help the individual to heal. Therapists and other practitioners can help speed the process up or help the person to understand what is occurring, so that they can go through it more easily rather than fighting / resisting the changes occurring.

It takes great strength to be willing to soften to feel your vulnerability. For that is what is needed so you can access the truth of your inner being and clear out all the blockages within.

All the trauma and painful experiences are stored within the body, locked into the muscles and cells. This is a protective mechanism so that the child can cope / stay on the planet. If the pain / trauma is too much to process when it is occurring it gets locked into the body, to wait until a time when the person is strong enough and ready to process it. So, unfortunately it is all stored inside waiting for the person to feel and release it. This is why abused children can feel so cold, like stone, rigid, because they are literally locked up inside with all these challenging memories and feelings. This will soften in time as they release all that has been trapped inside. But there is no magic bullet, no wiping it all away. It has to be felt and released, the energy processed, so your body can relax back into its natural state of peace and joy. You have to do the work to get back to this.

Tension and Trauma Release Exercises helps hugely with this release of blocked, trapped energy within the body. TRE is a process that activates the body’s natural mechanism for releasing stress, tension and trauma. The body will systematically shake out the contractions and release the stiffness enabling the body to come back to life more, to move through the emotional residue and open back up to love, laughter and play.

As the buried tension and emotions are released the body starts to feel safer, no longer under threat as the old trauma activations are completed. The past is known as the past. It no longer feels like it could happen again at any moment. The hyper-vigilant defensiveness softens and the person is able to be in the now more fully, not distracted by the past or worrying about the future.

The safer the body feels, the more space there is to focus on what you actually want to do and be in life, instead of automatically reacting to triggers from the buried trauma and pain.

It is worth the effort to heal the trauma so you gain that freedom to be you, to enjoy your life and have fun. TRE is a great tool to help with this. With consistent use of TRE your body will slowly unwind the tension and trauma patterns so you can move forward.

As unfair as it seems children who have been abused make massive leaps and bounds in their evolution as they heal and reach peace within. A lot is asked of them to heal and find inner peace, but the reward is mighty. Unlike those not affected, those who were abused have a burning desire to heal. The healing process can become the primary drive in their life as they want to escape the pain and find peace, joy, love. It is a force that cannot be stopped. Hence, they evolve quite quickly in that lifetime, as opposed to someone who has had an easy life and feels no need to focus on healing or personal growth. So, as painful as it is, on the larger scale of things it is a gift, an invitation to wholeness, to learn forgiveness, mastery of your thoughts and emotions and connection with your heart and God.

Do not lose hope. Yes, there is a lot of work to do to heal from child abuse, but there is also a lot of help out there. You just have to find what works for you. Most will need a therapist of some type as you have to learn to trust another, to feel your emotions and speak your truth. This cannot be done on your own. Books can only help so much. Support groups are very beneficial as long as their focus is on healing and growth – not just on sharing wounded stories, sympathizing with each other, but not progressing.

As anger and rage is worked through you will learn not to blame your parents or others. You will see they knew no better and often received the same treatment themselves. You will learn in time to forgive, not for the sake of the other person, but for your own sake. As if you hold onto resentment it is only your life that is affected with the bitterness and misery. You forgive to set yourself free, to no longer let the past affect you or that person control you.

As you process your emotions layer upon layer of issues related to various topics will arise. Forgiveness is not a once off act, but something you have to keep doing as you gain further insight into how much your life has been affected by the abuse. It takes a lot of strength to reach within and forgive the unforgivable.

Don’t waste energy trying to understand why something was done to you and perhaps not to your siblings. Do not go there! It was not about you. Abuse is about the perpetrator’s pain. They just take it out on you. It is their wounding that they are not coping with and it gets passed onto you to deal with. This happens generation after generation until one person says “Enough, this stops with me”. They commit to healing for their own sake and the sake of their current or future children. They break the link to abuse and heal the family dynamics so that future generations do not have to suffer from the unfinished business of their elder generations. Family karma is completed and the future generations freed from the tyranny. It is a brave soul that takes this healing journey on and there are many such brave souls on the planet now.

Know that you are supported to heal and grow. The right course, book, movie, song will occur to give you the necessary insight or tool to move forward. Time in nature can help soothe your soul and get in touch with what you are really feeling inside. There is a lot of support available today through websites, support groups, government funded programs, private practitioners and more.

You will be guided where you need to go. Trust. Seek help when you need it and go within to learn your truth, to see your freedom and opportunity for growth. Prayer and meditation help greatly, however, many people in the early stages find this hard as they feel foolish going within, speaking to a God who they feel has let them down, who should have protected them and kept them safe. For many there is a lot of rage and even hate for God. Others feel he/she does not exist. Each will work through this in time and come to realise that God is there, loving them, supporting them and smiling at their progress.

As souls we choose to incarnate and experience what we do, so we can grow and evolve. We choose the experiences and the other souls who would hurt us. We chose it to learn from and evolve through. God gives us free will to choose this, to go through these experiences. He/she will not interfere and stop it from happening for that would short circuit our evolution and growth. God sits waiting for us to call out for help and assistance, for us to invite him/her in. Then he/she can assist us, sending us to the right place or person for support, or helping us hear our inner guidance and what to do next.

While healing from child abuse is a long and painful process it is one that leads to liberation and freedom, massive amounts of personal growth and emotional intelligence. It is a path for higher guidance and quick evolution. It is a path only the brave walk and God is there waiting to hold our hand when we ask. Blessed BE. Amen.

By Jodi-Anne (24 June 2015).

Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.

Where does Jesus fit into all of this?

22 August 2015 by Dr. Jodi-Anne M Smith, posted in Conscious Evolution

Jesus is one of many beings who completed his evolution to Source Energy or God-Realisation. He learned all of the lessons and completed the path to love, peace, Godliness. He mastered the lower emotions and darker densities. He forgave. He didn’t take actions of others personally. He didn’t seek revenge. He loved all. He was a role model of God in-action or Source Energy fully expressed.

Jesus is a role model for all to learn from, an example of how one with an open heart behaves. He shows us how to do so – to open our hearts through prayer and meditation, through contemplation in nature, through faith and trust.

There are many such role models who have ascended, completed their lifetimes on Earth. Many choose to stay a separated aspect of God so they can serve others, assisting humanity with their awakening. You refer to them as Guides, Angels and Archangels. Some have lived on Earth. Some haven’t. It matters not. What matters is there pure intent to serve and assist others in their awakening process.

God loves, cares and wants all his beings to be happy. It is not fantasy. It is fact. The natural state of all energy and therefore all beings is that of peace. We lose that when we incarnate on Earth and experience life’s challenges. God is there waiting / watching / helping us find our way back to the light and love of peace, of high vibration, of Source Energy or Godliness.

There is no mystery or contradiction here. God is not a person/being in the clouds. It is an energy, a vibration from which we are born and into which we return. We just choose to experience duality on Earth so that we can know what it feels like to experience different aspects of life. In spirit form we have no sense of up / down, high / low, happy / pain – as it is all just one, one energy, one wholeness, completeness. Souls choose to incarnate on Earth to experience these states, to learn and evolve into wholeness, the oneness of God / Source Energy.

It is hard for you humans to understand all of this. Your minds fight against it / fear it. The ego likes to think it is in charge and to accept the larger picture shows the ego is not in charge, not important and in fact that the mind and ego conditioning actually hinders you, slows you down from reaching Source Vibrations. Hence, the mind and ego resist acknowledging this truth and would prefer you just focused on day to day life. Then the ego would be in control and not threatened by the higher forces at play in the Universe.

The ego tries to keep you asleep as long as it can. It fuels fear, mistrust, doubt and shame. It uses these tactics to keep you away from the truth, which is that you are whole and perfect as you are There is no need for fixing or healing anything. You were born whole. It is just your judgements, unexpressed emotions and conditioning that needs to drop away, so that you can see your perfection, see that you are loved, cared for and complete.

Each awakens to this truth at the right time for that soul, then the evolutionary impulse drives you forward to completion of your life’s purpose and journey. The ego cannot stop you once you have realised your power, your connection with Source Energy / God. That connection is stronger than any trick the ego can use to distract you, make you feel small or unworthy. Because once you are connected to God in your heart you know you are worthy, you are loved and you are okay. There is nothing you need to do or be to earn God’s love. You are loved regardless of what you do or think. He/She simply waits for you to awaken to this knowing and then you can tune into the frequency of God, of Source Energy, of divine love and bliss. Your true state of being. Your home within.

Jesus, like Buddha, Krishna and many others was and is a role model for humanity to follow or use as a guide in their evolution to Godliness. They are beings who came before us to lead the way. In spirit they continue to help humanity and can be called on for advice.

In essence we are all one, all born of God, just discrete aspects that get to separate and evolve back into wholeness of God. There is not but God. It is all from the same energy. So no need for fighting over whose leader is best or whose version of religious doctrine is accurate. It is all just different stories of the same process described in the language of that time that resonated to that group of people. Same story, different tellings of it to suit those who listen.

Many people share these truths. Different segments of society will be drawn to different authors. Find the version which feels right to you, that resonates as truth and read that. Take it into your heart and reflect on it, listen for your inner guidance, your insight in relation to the information. The more you do this, the more you strengthen the connection with your heart and the more you will be able to access your own soul’s wisdom. You truly do have all the answers within, you just have to quieten the mind and strengthen the connection with your heart so you can hear it. Blessed BE. Amen.

Remember there is no need to figure it all out. That is just the mind / ego trying to make sense of it all, so it can feel some sense of control and mastery. Let it go and just BE. Enjoy life trusting that what you need to know will be revealed to you when the time is right. So relax and trust and enjoy your life. Blessed BE. Amen.

By Jodi-Anne (24 June 2015).

Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.

Image from: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Mystical-Rose-Studios

What is the pull to evolve?

15 August 2015 by Dr. Jodi-Anne M Smith, posted in Conscious Evolution

The pull to evolve is the desire to vibrate at the rate of Source Energy. Being stuck in painful emotions keeps you at a lower vibration. This is not your natural vibratory state and the tension between the two is like a stretched rubber band pulling your vibration back up to its natural state.

The urge to grow, heal and find peace is simply the urge to reunite with Source Energy. We all know subconsciously that our natural state is one of peace and it is only life’s dramas that pull us out of it. The urge to evolve is to escape that drama and come back to centre, to peace. It is homeostasis of our vibration – our set-point – that the body tries to regulate itself to.

We take ourselves further and further away from it when we are focused in our heads rushing about and busy. When in that state we don’t notice nature and its stillness, its peace. We are moving too frantically. Ironically moving so fast in an attempt to have time at the end of the day to relax and be at peace, to unwind and be still. We could be that all the time if we chose a less hectic lifestyle, if we focused more on our hearts and our connection with self, Source/God/Universe/Whatever. When we feel that connection we feel at ease. Like when you have spent days in nature – you automatically slow down and feel peaceful. This is how nature helps us heal. It slows us down and raises our vibration. Sitting in nature allows density to drop away and vibration to raise.

So the urge to evolve is simply the body-mind trying to recapture its natural state of peace and bliss. When you do connect in at that higher level your mind is quiet enough that you can access guidance from your soul or higher self – the parts of you that are vibrating at a higher level and they guide you as to actions you can take to align yourself with Source. Each person has a different destiny, a different activity or purpose for their life.

What may be peaceful to one person may be boring or hard to another. We each have to find what it is that makes our heart sing, the activity that when we do it time flies by and we don’t even notice it passing. That is a sign of deep immersion or connection with Source. So each person’s path is different based on their joys, their passions, their ideas. It will vary lifetime to lifetime based on what the soul is focused on learning or completing. There is no God up there directing the show as such. It is just Source Energy evolving through us, reaching towards completion and that occurs when we manage to vibrate at that higher level and match Source Energy as much as we can. It takes many lifetimes to achieve and that is the evolutionary process, that is what is occurring and why so many people are drawn to esoteric studies, to personal growth and spirituality.

They know there is something more to life than the mundane rat race. They know they could feel a lot better than they do. They know they could enjoy life more than they have. This is the evolutionary pulse pulling everyone forward. It is like clock work, all proceeding at the right time and space as was designed prior to incarnation. It is all set ready to be played out. Therefore you can not mess it up or miss out on anything you were meant to experience. So relax and let life lead you to where you need to go. Don’t exhaust yourself trying to figure it all out. Relax, trust, quieten your mind and listen to your intuition and your heart. Hear its messages and take actions that you feel guided to take and which bring you greater joy. Life is about joy. We forget that. We forget how to play and enjoy life. As kids we know it is important and just do it. As adults we have been taught to be more serious, responsible and deadened – energetically we are deadened when we do not follow our heart, our aliveness, our joy and passion.

So let your heart open, let your vibration rise and have fun in life. That is how it is meant to be. God/Source will pull you forward to become all you are meant to be. The jobs, people, etc will appear at the right time and place. You will be guided to them. Trust. All is taken care of. All is organised. You just haven’t realised it. So enjoy it – all the good and the bad – and allow life to lead you forward, to help you raise your vibration and evolve to Source Consciousness, then your lifetime is complete. Not everyone will reach it this lifetime. It depends on what each person is here to learn.They may learn those lessons then leave, returning at a later date to continue their evolution towards Source Consciousness.

We are all walking the same path. There is no higher or lower beings. It is just a scale of consciousness and all people will complete the scale at some point. It is our destiny. It is the evolution of consciousness within our species. It is life on Earth. Blessed BE. Amen.

By Jodi-Anne (23 June 2015).

Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.

What is God / Source Energy?

8 August 201526 July 2021 by Dr. Jodi-Anne M Smith, posted in Conscious Evolution

God is an energy that created all things. It is not a man in the sky or a woman for that matter. It is an energy that pervades all things and is part of it all. It does not judge, condemn or think like we do. It is simply a vibration of love, of wholeness, of completion. In that energy you feel complete and at peace, there is nothing you have to do or prove or become. It is just a state of peace that you relax into when you connect with Source/God.

So many of you have bizarre beliefs around God, but none of them are true. Humans judge. God doesn’t. Humans fear and get angry. God doesn’t. In this sense it is helpful to talk of Source Energy rather than God as people have less baggage around that term or concept.

God is just an energy that is constantly expanding and growing through us and the changes we make in our lives. As we grow and expand so does the energy or God. It is the evolution of consciousness, of life on this planet.

There is no Heaven or Hell other than that which we create for ourselves with our thoughts, our judgments and self depreciation. Source energy just is, it just is love, peace, happiness, etc. It is just a vibration you can tune into or become as you clear out your negative thinking and judgments, as you find peace within yourself by letting go of old emotions and baggage.

Heaven is that vibration of God, love, peace and we can have it now if we clear out the baggage and fear. Peace is our natural state of being. It is how we are born and how we die. Our minds just complicate things in between.

Babies are inherently peaceful, inquisitive and joyful, as they live in the moment and as such they live connected to God/Source Energy. They are in bliss most of the time. Until their thoughts take them out of the moment, their hunger or bodily discomfort takes their attention away from Source and onto the issue that does not feel the same as Source Energy. It is that shift in vibration, in feeling, that they cry about. “Heh, I was feeling great, now I don’t. What happened? What has gone wrong”.

Nothing has gone wrong, they are just experiencing life and the ongoing challenge to stay connected to Source Energy regardless of what you are experiencing. If you can just witness whatever it is that is occurring, from a flat tyre on a car or the death of a loved one, then you can breathe through the emotions, let them flow through you rather than bottle them up, then when the storm has passed you can reconnect with Source Energy quickly and return to your natural state of bliss and peace. It is only your thoughts about the event that drag it out and keep the pain going. If you let thoughts play out such as “Why me? Why does this happen to me? It always …. blah, blah, blah” then you keep yourself stuck in low vibration and painful emotions.

Learn to control your thoughts and witness them. Learn to change them to be more positive and supportive of yourself and others, then your vibration can raise and you can be connected to Source/God/Universe/Whatever more of the time. You are always connected, but when you are in turmoil you don’t feel the connection, the peace, the bliss. But it is always there for you to tap into. It is this underlying energy that is God – an energy force constantly evolving through us and expanding the light in the Universe. Blessed BE. Choose peace in all you do. Amen.

NOTE: I was curious about the wording that God is constantly evolving through us, so I asked a follow up question “Is God evolving through us?” Here is the answer I received.

No, not in the sense that it is wholeness that breaks into discrete parts to feel and heal and become whole again. So it starts whole and returns to wholeness. But all the experiences that you each have does add to the vibrational whole, to the collective consciousness, to the energy surrounding you all, and as that purifies, lifts its’ vibration, it gets easier for all of you to move forward to feel the peace of God, the universal energy which is there and available to all at all times. You just need to be quiet enough and still enough within to feel it and that requires the healing work so you can sit peacefully resting in your heart with a quiet mind and listen within. So God isn’t evolving as such. We are, the energy is evolving back to the wholeness it started from. Blessed BE. Amen.

By Jodi-Anne (23 June 2015).

Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.

Why is it hard to love others fully?

1 August 20153 July 2021 by Dr. Jodi-Anne M Smith, posted in Healing from child abuse, Relationships

How do you love another fully? By not fearing losing them or being rejected by them. By accepting them fully as they are – good points and bad points. We all want to be loved and trusted, but we fear showing our true self to others for fear of rejection, loss, pain.

It is sad but true, most people keep a wedge between themselves and others. They only let people in close enough to connect, but far enough away they feel safe. Then they wonder why they feel alone.

To live life is to love fully. You need to fully love to live fully. To hold back out of fear means you never experience the fullness of being seen, held, known and loved. It would be sad to miss out on that greatest of gifts. Choose to love fully, choose to risk your heart breaking. It will only break open. Do not see loss of loved ones as inevitable. See it as destined timing for being together and apart. You share in each others lives for a time and then others come into your life.

You will always love someone, something and hopefully yourself as well. For when you love yourself fully you do not feel so alone, nor does separation with another feel so devastating as you still have your own love to sustain you as well as God’s and that is a lot of love.

So take the risk and love fully, let people close, know they can’t really hurt you. Even if they leave how you think about it is what determines your reactions to it. You can choose to celebrate what you shared and be grateful. You can choose to be excited knowing the Universe will bring you another great love in time. You could choose to mourn the loss of this love or be devastated by it. You can choose to see the time alone as a chance for self reflection and growth. It all depends on what you think about the situation and how you choose to react.

Know that death is not the end, but the beginning. Death is a reuniting with your whole self – soul energy with God’s energy and your higher self, the part of you that is God-realised. Death is a coming home to the fullness of who you are. It is a celebration of light not encountered while on Earth. It is rhapsody and pleasure. It is bliss.

We all will die. We all must awaken to that truth and celebrate life while we have it. Make the most of your interactions with others. Love fully so you will not be alone at the end, but surrounded by all who hold you dear. Celebrate their lives and yours and all you have shared. Do not hold back out of fear. Do not isolate yourself or stay stuck in pain. Let go of the past and any hurt from relationships.

There is much you can do to clear out stress, tension and trauma from your body. As you do so it is easier to relax and enjoy life. Your body will be less reactive, less hyper vigilant, more willing to connect and socialise when your nervous system is calm. Tension and Trauma Release Exercises (TRE) can help you to discharge the old stagnant energy so that you can open to being more playful and for life to be more enjoyable. When you look through stressed or traumatised eyes you see danger and threat, you see more negatively. When you look through relaxed eyes you see beauty and love everywhere, you see more positively, because your body and nervous system is calmer, more peaceful, more relaxed and open. It’s not closed off out of fear or hurt.

Start a fresh each day choosing love and laughter. The choice is up to you. In the end that is what it comes down to, a choice – to love or not to love and how much to love. Choose to love fully and you will experience life more fully.

Let the guard down and love. No need to protect yourself, defend yourself, keep a distance between you and others. Let people close. Love them and their flaws and they can love you and yours. We all have areas for growth. We all have habits we could improve. That is okay. We all deserve love, we don’t need to be perfect. We don’t need to earn love. We all deserve it because we are alive and being alive is an opportunity to love – to give and receive love. So let the guards come down and love. Blessed BE. Amen.

By Jodi-Anne (21 June 2015).

Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.

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