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Conscious Evolution Personal Development

Celebrating life – how to do it?

To celebrate life is to honour and accept all that is. It is to say thank you for all that has been, is and will be. It is saying thank you for all of it. I accept it. I honour it. I allow it to be my truth. I stop fighting against what is. I stop resenting what was. And I stop trying to force what is to come to be what I want. I accept God has a plan for my life and what I need most will come. Life will bring me what I need, so I heal, so I grow, so I evolve into a loving being of high vibration and can be of greatest service while I am here on Earth.

celebrate-17Celebrating life is acknowledging life knows best. It all happens without my effort, my struggle. I can just relax and enjoy the ride whatever comes, knowing it is needed and meant to occur. The pleasant and unpleasant events, they all come for a reason and I ride through them without judgement, without attachment, without misery – my thoughts are calm and accepting of what is – so I don’t feel misery or create drama. Instead I celebrate life. I celebrate the diversity of experiences, the learning, the greater self awareness and connection to spirit. I feel the vibration in and around me. I sense the love and beauty in all things. I see God’s touch whereever I go and I know I am guided forth to create my best life, to experience all that I can to evolve and grow while here on Earth.

I celebrate life and sing, not because I got my way or things worked out how I wanted, because they have not. I sing because I am free. Free of the tyranny of judgement and fear, free from the misery and drama of questioning and controlling. Free from the pain of feeling stuck, lost, fearful. I celebrate and sing because I am resting in the arms of the divine, knowing I am held and supported, knowing I walk the Earth with an army of supportive Angels and Guides walking by my side, urging me on into the unknown, into the depths of my heart and soul, into greatness, into wholeness, into unity with Self, God, life, with all there is, recognising, feeling and embodying oneness. I celebrate the lack of separation, isolation, loneliness. I celebrate the oneness that is our true nature and the acceptance of self and life that has finally occurred.

I enjoy each day, waiting to see what will occur, what growth will result, what greater freedom will occur due to healing whatever is triggered this day by the people, things, places, times and events I experience. I trust it is all leading me forth to achieve my highest potential, to embody my higher self on Earth. Such a gift, such an opportunity. For these gifts I am grateful and I celebrate life. Amen.

By Jodi-Anne (17 Dec 2015).

Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.
Categories
Healing from child abuse Parenting Personal Development

How to love yourself fully?

Most people do not fully love themselves. They may like themselves a bit, think that they are okay, but they don’t cherish the precious being that they are. They don’t look at themselves with love and reverence. They don’t honour their bodily needs and treat themselves with the respectful thought, touch and actions that they would do for others.

self-love-healthy

Many of us have been taught to dislike ourselves. Life has shown us evidence that we are not lovable, good enough or okay. This is false evidence. It was just the interpretation of events that were not actually about you, even if it seemed they were.

Parents can rarely meet all needs of a child. It is too much to ask for. That is why traditionally they say it takes a tribe to raise a child. When one is tired and needs to rest, another steps in to care for the child. That way interactions can be mostly positive, loving, nurturing and accepting.

In today’s way of being parents are often trying to do it on their own or with occasional support from family or friends. The parents are tired, coping with work, money concerns, their own stuff as well as caring for the child. Out of exhaustion and frustration it is harder for all their interactions to be loving and kind to the child. There are times when they simply have nothing left to give and may feel resentful of the child and its needs. They may wish the child didn’t exist or they could give them away. This is just exhaustion. Just a lack of support in the way that modern life operates.

The children however can sense the above. They feel that Mum or Dad is not available, distant, angry or upset. They feel the absence of love and joy when Mum is depressed and lonely, struggling to cope. While the parents actions are not really about the baby itself, it will feel like it is. It’s not that it is the baby’s personality, the being that it is, that is the issue. It is the demands of parenthood in a time when that role is undervalued and unappreciated. It could be any baby and it would get the same response. However, as a baby and a child growing up we do assume it is about us personally. We may think ‘if only I was prettier, smarter, more like Mum, Dad, brother, sister – whoever does get the attention more easily – if only I was like them then I’d be lovable. Then I’d be okay’. This is the foundation of self loathing, self rejection and self denial. We start manipulating who we are to please others, to get approval, to fit in and receive love. It is all about LOVE.

In the early stages of life we need to be nurtured and looked after by others, mainly our families and friends who care for us and our welfare. Without touch and care babies do not thrive and gain weight. It physically damages them to be left alone and not cared for. Uncontrolled crying, being left to cry, actually releases cortisol into the baby’s blood stream, a stress hormone, that eats away, dissolves parts of the baby’s brain. It actually damages the brain physically.

So don’t let babies cry. Find a way to be there for them. Ask for help and support when you need it. Go outside into nature and let the Earth’s energy support you if noone else is around. Ensure that you do have plans in place for those times when your personal reserves are empty, when your gas tank is on zero. Have someone you can call on or text that can come help.

pets aloneThe breakdown of community and isolation that most people live in, makes this so much harder. So many people are lonely, scared to reach out to others for fear of rejection or further loss and pain. Instead they hide at home with their pets who provide them with their main source of love and affection.

If so many people are feeling lonely, unloved or deep down feeling perhaps they aren’t lovable, don’t deserve love or will never be loved, shouldn’t we just all take the risk to love each other, to meet each others needs? Acknowledge we are all carrying wounds around this and beliefs about ourselves that we need to change, emotional pain that needs to be felt and released, so that we can realise we are perfectly okay as we are. Take a step today and reach out to another human being. Offer your friendship, your love, your time and see what happens. Not all will accept, but some might and you only need one or two to start with. Offer them your heart and say ‘I will love and accept you as you are, will you do the same for me?‘ You may not say this out loud, but energetically it is what you are wishing to portray. Get out there, join social, sporting, art or other types of groups. Do what makes your heart sing and you will start to feel more fulfilled and full of love as you honour yourself and treat yourself in more loving ways.

There is much that you can do to show yourself that you are loved, lovable and deserving of good things in life. Tell your friends how you feel and you will be surprised that they feel that way too. We all have some self doubt and insecurities. We all have issues we are working through. Sometimes sharing with others is good. Other times put that aside and just have fun. Just go out and have fun. This is how you love yourself fully, by honouring your own needs and meeting them. By doing for yourself what your parents could not do. You choose to be there for yourself, to meet your needs, to rest when needed and have fun. You follow your heart’s messages and do what it desires. You risk opening up and connecting with others who feel safe and play together, honouring each other.

Love is not hard. It is our natural state, the most natural thing for us to do. We have just been conditioned to be wary of it due to life experiences. It could be school events where you were bullied or teased. It could be workplace incidents that led you to feel incompetent or not good enough. These issues can occur at any time of our life, but the seed of them is planted during our time in the womb and as a baby.

A foetus knows whether it is wanted or not wanted while growing in the Mother’s womb. The foetus receives the Mother’s blood supply and all the molecules of emotion it contains, through the umbilical cord. It carries this from the start, this knowing, and it forms the start of its identity. Preconception, pregnancy and birth truly are significant and important events which shape the personality of the child and its feeling of being loved or not, safe or not, wanted or not. These are times when tenderness and care are needed. When loving touch is needed. Ensure that these are times of love and joy, and your baby will flourish and grow with less doubts about self and his/her self worth.

deserve good lifeThe important thing to realise is everyone goes through this. We are all carrying degrees of ‘Am I okay?’ questioning. Realise you are. You are enough. You are perfectly enough exactly as you are. Find the courage to show yourself to the world and stand strong in who you are. You don’t need to play games for approval or modify yourself to fit in. Let it go and be yourself. Let it go and be happy with what you have and who you are. As you do so your inner world will flourish and your outer world will alter to match it. You are okay. You are lovable, and you do deserve the best in life. Do the healing necessary so you believe in yourself and live life freely as the beautiful human being that you are. Blessed BE. Amen.

By Jodi-Anne (8 Dec 2015).

Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.
Categories
Healing from child abuse

Coping with loved ones with addiction or mental illness

The below is a wonderful post by Ally Hamilton explaining how to cope with a loved one who has addiction or mental illness. It is wise advice about not sacrificing your own life trying to rescue someone who does not want to help themselves. Thank you Ally x

drive you crazy

Yogis Anonymous

People can only drive us crazy if we let them. A person can spin his or her web, but we don’t have to fly into the center of it to be stunned, stung, paralyzed and eaten. Remember that your time and your energy are the most precious gifts you have to offer anyone, and that includes those closest to you, and also total strangers. Your energy and your time are also finite, so it’s really important to be mindful about where you’re placing those gifts.

It’s hard not to get caught up when someone we love is suffering, or thrashing around, or in so much pain they don’t know what else to do but lash out. It’s hard not to take that to heart, or to defend yourself, or to try to make things better for them, but you’re not going to walk into a ring and calm a raging bull with your well-thought out dialogue. You’re just going to get kicked in the face, at best, and I use that analogy intentionally. People in pain–whether we’re talking about people with personality disorders or clinical depression, people suffering with addiction, or people who are going through mind-boggling loss–are dealing with deep and serious wounds. They didn’t wake up this way one morning. Whether it’s a chronic issue, or an acute and immediate situation, when you’re dealing with heightened emotions including rage, jealousy, or debilitating fear, you’re not going to help when a person is in the eye of the storm. If someone is irrational, trying to reason with them makes you as irrational as they are; you can’t negotiate with crazy. I’m not using the word as a dagger, I’m saying we’re all crazy sometimes, we’re all beyond reason sometimes. We all have days when we feel everyone is against us, whether that’s based in any kind of reality or not.

You can offer your love, your patience, your kindness and your compassion if someone you care for is suffering. You can try to get them the support they need. You can make them a meal, or show up and just be there to hold their hand, or take them to the window to let in a little light, but if someone is attacking you verbally or otherwise, we’re in a different territory. You are not here to be abused, mistreated, or disrespected. You are not here to defend yourself against someone’s need to make you the villain. You don’t have to give that stuff your energy, and I’d suggest that you don’t. It’s better spent in other places.

We can lose hours and days and weeks getting caught up in drama or someone else’s manipulation. That’s time we’ll never have back. Of course things happen in life; people do and say and want things that can be crushing sometimes, but the real story to examine is always the story of our participation. If someone needs you to be the bad guy, why do you keep trying to prove you’re actually wonderful? Are you wonderful? Brilliant, get back to it. If someone has a mental illness and they are incapable of controlling themselves, keeping their word, or treating you with respect, why do you keep accepting their invitation to rumble? You already know what’s going to happen. Don’t you have a better way to spend your afternoon? My point is, life is too short.

When a person is in the kind of pain that causes them to create pain around them, your job is to create boundaries if it’s someone you want to have in your life. You figure out how to live your life and honor your own well-being, and deal with the other party in a way that creates the least disharmony for you. That means you don’t get in the ring when they put their dukes up. You don’t allow yourself to get sucked in. Do you really think this is the time you’ll finally be heard or seen or understood? People who need to be angry cannot hear you. It doesn’t matter what you do or say, they have a construct they’ve built to support a story about their life that they can live with; it doesn’t have to be based in reality. Not everyone is searching for their own truth or their own peace; some people are clinging to their rage, because that feels easier or more comfortable, or because they really, truly aren’t ready to do anything else yet. You’re not going to solve that, but you can squander your time and energy trying. You can make yourself sick that way. I just don’t recommend it.

You really don’t have to allow other people to steal your peace, whether we’re talking about those closest to you, or people you don’t even know, like the guy who cuts you off on the freeway, or the woman talking loudly on her cellphone at the bank. You don’t have to let this stuff get under your skin and agitate you. You don’t have to let someone’s thoughtless comment or action rob you of a beautiful afternoon. Of course we give our time to people who need us. I’m just saying, don’t get caught up in the drama. Sending you love, Ally Hamilton

 

Categories
Conscious Evolution Personal Development

What is impatience?

Impatience is not accepting God’s plan for your life and assuming that you know better what should occur in it.

Impatience is arrogance, wondering why you don’t have all that you want and getting angry or frustrated as you feel you have missed out. But you haven’t missed out on anything. You have experienced exactly what you needed to experience in this life time, for the greatest evolution of your soul. Trust in this. If you do trust God / the Universe to bring you exactly what you need then you can relax and flow. You can be peaceful and content. You can be happy right now in whatever circumstances you are in.

Impatience is an unwillingness to accept what is or to accept divine timing. What you want may or may not eventuate, it depends on what will lead to the most growth for you as a soul. Sometimes painful experiences are needed to help us separate from our ego mind and being totally focussed on ego goals e.g. career, success, wealth, advancement.

God works in humble ways and through humble means. There is no fanfare when flowers blossom, even though it is a miraculous achievement, one worthy of singing and exalting. Likewise when a limb falls off of a tree there is no mourning, no solemn exchange or grief. Nature just flows and accepts what is.

tree and flowerNature shows us the transitions in life, the process of birth, growth, decay, rotting and death. It shows us what we all must go through. What we all must learn from. We cannot avoid these stages completely. We can certainly go through them with ease and grace, but it is hard for most to accept the loss of their vitality or ability to do all that they used to be able to do. Many people fight death and old age, try to deny it, resist it, but that doesn’t work. Accept it as part of life, love yourself through all stages of life, all shapes of your body, trim and athletic or round and pudgy. It doesn’t matter which.

What matters is love. Are you able to love yourself and others at all times? Can you remain kind and patient when people need your help? Are you still loving when you don’t get your own way? Are you still happy and peaceful in amidst chaos, trusting it will shift and accepting it as God’s will? These are the signs of spiritual mastery. These show you your progress. The other material stuff does not matter. God does not care if you own 3 houses and a sports car. He cares if you can give your time and attention to the poor and destitute making them feel loved and accepted, and worthy of life. God cares how loving we are to ourselves, others and the Earth. God is love and wishes us to become that too.

There is no rush in mastering this. Life is our learning ground and we evolve at a rate we can handle. We will get there this lifetime or another. There is no rush, so relax, enjoy what comes, knowing it is helping you evolve. That is all you need to do.

Follow your heart’s guidance. If it is telling you to leave your job or relationship then do it. We fight so hard against the heart’s messages out of fear. What if it isn’t the right thing to do? What if i’m mistaken or naive? Most of society doesn’t listen to their heart. They are conditioned not to, so it does feel risky to listen to it, to follow its urges, especially when that requires letting go of security and control, which in reality are illusions, but strong ones the ego mind holds on to.

Will I be safe if I follow my heart? Most certainly yes. God and the angels will be by your side, singing and celebrating as you move into your true profession, being of service in whatever way makes your heart sing and your eyes water with gratitude. Noone is holding you back from this except yourself. Trust the process. Trust in life and have faith that all is working out as it needs to for your highest good and the highest good of all.

We are all evolving into loving, light filled beings. This is what life on Earth is about. It’s not about achieving material wealth or success at ego tasks. Those are distractions from the true task. The task to love more fully every day and stay connected both to God and your heart as you move through each day. So let go of impatience; and trust, accept what is and listen to your heart. It will guide you home to peace and happiness. Blessed BE, Amen.

By Jodi-Anne (01 Dec 2015).

Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.
Categories
Family Constellations Healing from child abuse Personal Development

The impact of a lack of nurturing and stress on the brain

This (4:15 mins) video by Madhumita Murga explains how a lack of nurturing when we are young can limit our ability to cope with stress and creates changes to the way our DNA is expressed. These changes are passed on to future generations resulting in them having a sensitivity to stress.

Chronic stress damages the brain in several ways, which are explained in the video. The good news is that the damage can be reversed by releasing the stress and healing the trauma that caused it. Many stress reduction techniques can help including exercise and meditation, while therapies like Psych-K and Family Constellations can assist in healing any trauma and emotional pain underneath it.

Categories
Conscious Evolution Healing from child abuse Personal Development

What does it mean to be free of the past?

To be free of the past means to no longer be affected by it, which means you no longer think about it, cling to it, or be affected by it in your current day to day actions. It no longer informs your thinking, attitudes or expectations of what is to occur in the future.

To be free of the past means you are completely present to the moment, living now. Your energy is here now, not split between worry about the past and future, with only partial attention on the now.

When you are present now you can notice the signs and synchronicities that occur all around you, giving you feedback about how you are progressing in life and guiding you forward as to what to do next.

When you are present to life in the moment you notice your inner guidance, your intuition, and your body’s signals about what it wants from you. Your body will tell you what food is most beneficial to eat at each meal. If you are lacking a particular vitamin or amino acid you will get an inkling to eat a specific vegetable or meat if you need protein. Your body will tell you. You just have to be quiet enough in your mind to hear it.

Likewise, your body will tell you whether or not someone is being honest with you, or whether or not you should trust them. You will get messages to go certain places with no explanation of why. If you follow the inner advice you may be shocked that you bump into someone important to your goals at that place or find the perfect book to help you along your path.

Living in the now enables you to meet people a fresh – to not have tainted views of them based on past experiences. It means you can be friendly and kind to all with no baggage or preconceived notions of who they are.

There is much to gain from living in the now and breaking free of the past. But how do you do it? How do you let the past go? You do so with every breath, every thought, every action. You do so by paying attention to your now and calling your mind back to now whenever it wanders to the past or future. You do so as a loving discipline, centering yourself back to the now with your senses – focusing on what you see, feel, hear, taste and smell.

Your interactions with people will feel more satisfying and fulfilling as you will be connecting more deeply, intimately, seeing into each other’s soul, your essence, rather than distracted, surface chit-chat. Such deep interactions fill your cup with love and attention – you feel seen, heard, valued, loved and this fills you up.

You no longer need to scream out for attention or to be heard. You are seen and heard, first by yourself, then others. So make the effort to be more in the now. You will be surprised how much more enjoyable the day is, how much less stressful it is, and how much more productive it is. Achieve one task at a time without pressuring yourself by worrying about getting it all done. One step at a time is enough.

synchronicityYou don’t need to see the whole path in front of you, just the next few steps. When driving at night the car’s headlights illuminate the way in front of us, but we can only see a short distance ahead. We drive on trusting the next part of the road will be illuminated when we approach it. We don’t waste energy worrying if the road is there or not. We trust it is. Similarly life leads us forth and we cannot get lost. The path we are to take is determined and we are guided to it. It is predestined, chosen before we birthed. It just plays out like a movie. We are the lead character and live through each scene, each chapter of our life. We are all held safe in God’s arms as we journey forth on this path of evolution and growth.

There are pot holes and obstacles on the road, but we are guided around them. Sometimes one’s car breaks down and we have to rest and repair it. This is all part of life. Some journeys are long and tedious, some are short and joyful. You never know what is going to occur each drive. It is part of the mystery and adventure. Even unexpected setbacks, accidents and tragedies are part of God’s plan, leading us forth, on this evolutionary journey.

Through pain we wake up to what is truly important in life. We let go of the mundane, rat-race and focus on what we really care about, what we are passionate about and makes our heart’s sing. Life is that journey to our singing hearts. Before the music is pitch perfect we have to clear out the baggage of the past and be able to live in the now. It is worth the effort. Blessed BE. Amen.

By Jodi-Anne (26 Nov 2015).
Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.