A miscarriage is God’s introduction to parenthood and connection. It gives parents an opportunity to process how they feel about being parents without the pressure of actually becoming parents. It is a stepping stone towards parenthood, an opportunity for cleansing of any negaitve energies in each the faterh and mother that may inhibit pregnancy and child birth. It is a practical, purposeful process of nature. It has meaning and reason. It is not random, nor pointless. It happens to many because many have blockages to clear before their bodies are purified enough to carry a foetus full term. There are no accidents. It all occurs as it needs to.
Healing from miscarriage involves accepting this truth – that it was a necessary step towards parenthood for your situation. It is not your fault. There is nothing you could have done to prevent it. You are okay and you will have children in future – if it is part of your life plan to do so. Your life plan was chosen before you incarnated to enable you to learn all the evolutionary lessons you chose to learn in this lifetime. It is set in stone and can not be altered once incarnated. So relax, trust and enjoy, knowing you can’t get it wrong and all that happens is for your good. It may not seem like that, but all of life’s experiences are helping you grow, leading you forth to develop a stronger connnection with your inner self, your heart and your life as a mysterious journey of evolution.
If you are steeped in grief over the loss of your baby then allow the tears to flow. Give yourself time to grieve. Plant a tree or flower on behalf of the child and watch it grow. Nature shows us the cycles of life and seasons of passing. Such a ritual and honouring can be healing. Welcome the child into your heart and talk to them.Thank them for being with you for that short time and wish them well in their next incarnation. Tell them how much you loved them and had looked forward to sharing your life with them. Let yourself carry them with you in your thoughts, day dreams and night time dreams. Let them continue to be a part of your life, for energetically they are. It is only the physical aspect that has ceased.
If you can quiet your mind ask your heart why it had to happen, what was the purpose that the miscarriage served. You may hear that it helped clear your body of dense emotions and vibrations. It raised your vibration by opening your heart to love and joy. It helped soothe your broken heart and not feel alone. The pregnancy may have brought you closer together with your partner and led to more trust and intimacy. Alternatively it may have shown you that you don’t want to be in that situation, relationship or marriage. You may have seen a need for a reordering of your life, a change of focus, work, hobbies, etc. Whatever the reason the pregnancy and miscarriage served a purpose in some way.
Try to find the positive change that resulted from the experience and thank the child for that. Thank it for choosing you as a parent and for helping you to grow in whatever way it has. Trust that it knew it was not to be born, as it was still in energetic form, connected to God/Source/Creator. It knew what was to occur and needed the experience in some way. It may have wanted a taste of life, but not a full life yet. It may have wanted to feel deeply wanted and loved. Or if your pregnancy was not wanted or joyous, it may have wanted to feel the struggle and turmoil of making a difficult decision. Whatever it experienced while with you, served it in some way. Life is not random or meaningless. There is a purpose to all that occurs. We may not understand it, but it is true, and life will be a lot simpler and easier if we accept that fact and accept what occurs. Don’t fight against it. Don’t resist what is. Don’t waste energy complaining or wondering why. Don’t go into victim mode and wallow in depression. There is no need for that. This is just another stepping stone in your life leading you forward to being the greatest version of you that you can be – the embodiment of your higher self on Earth.
If you are struggling with your grief, see a counsellor or therapist to support you and your body throguh it. Massage will help soothe you and connect you with your feelings. You could use processes like Tension and Trauma Release Exercises (TRE) to help release the trauma, tension and stress from your body, so that you can open back up to connection and relaxation. Time in nature will help balance you too.
Talking with friends and others who have gone through this will help you know you are not alone, that miscarriage is quite common and that most go on to have a healthy baby. This is not the end of your parenting dreams. It is just a rock on the road, an obstacle to move through, to get to your goal.
Love yourself through it and look after your needs and those of any other kids you have at this time. They too will need extra cuddles. They will see your sadness, your confusion, your numbness and perhaps your rage if you feel it. Kids are very intuitive. Be honest with them and explain that you are feeling sad and lost after what occurred and you just need some time to feel good again. They too will go through disappointments in life and your role modelling of how to go though such a phase of life can help them greatly.
Don’t burden them with too much detail, but don’t stay silent. If you say nothing they will make up what they think it is and may think it is their fault. So tell them the truth with love and awareness and give them the opportunity to express how they feel too. Accept whatever they say, they may feel guilty as they are relieved not to have to share you with another child. They may feel confused and lost too. Whatever they feel comfort and nurture them. Take time to be together and play a lot. Let life and joy be acceptable. You do not need to stop living just because the child did. Let life go on and the child live in your heart, for energetically they are and always will be with you. Blessed BE.
By Jodi-Anne (01 Sept 2015).