Healing from child abuse

How do we heal from child abuse?

A child who was neglected, beaten, belittled or raped as a child will have grown with high levels of fear in their body. They will have learned to always be on guard, to watch out for danger, to not trust anyone and be alone. They have learned to focus on survival at the expense of joy, friendship and love. A child abused does not know how to relax and be peaceful. They don’t know how to receive or give love as that doesn’t feel safe. They have shut off from the softer sides of life and hardened themselves to cope with all the pain, grief, loss, anger, shame and rage. They are a powder-keg of emotions that are held together by strong armouring and defense mechanisms designed to protect them from experiencing further hurt.

To heal from child abuse all this damage needs to be undone so light can enter and soothe the dark spaces within, so love can enter and melt the sadness away, so peace can enter and joy can flood their cells returning them to their natural state of being.

Healing is a long process of becoming aware of the conditioning and patterning and allowing it to be dismantled. It takes courage to risk opening back up. It takes bravery to feel and release the buried emotions and it takes great commitment to continue unraveling layer upon layer of beliefs and armouring that have kept the person isolated and safe. It takes a lot of physical energy for the body to process these shifts as each layer drops away.

Children who have been abused often feel worthless, unloved, unwanted and not good enough. Healing involves changing these beliefs to realise the truth that you are loved, wanted, cared for and provided for. Life will bring experiences to help with these awakenings and help the individual to heal. Therapists and other practitioners can help speed the process up or help the person to understand what is occurring, so that they can go through it more easily rather than fighting / resisting the changes occurring.

be ur own heroIt takes great strength to be willing to soften to feel your vulnerability. For that is what is needed so you can access the truth of your inner being and clear out all the blockages within.

All the trauma and painful experiences are stored within the body, locked into the muscles and cells. This is a protective mechanism so that the child can cope / stay on the planet. If the pain / trauma is too much to process when it is occurring it gets locked into the body, to wait until a time when the person is strong enough and ready to process it. So, unfortunately it is all stored inside waiting for the person to feel and release it. This is why abused children can feel so cold, like stone, rigid, because they are literally locked up inside with all these challenging memories and feelings. This will soften in time as they release all that has been trapped inside. But there is no magic bullet, no wiping it all away. It has to be felt and released, the energy processed, so your body can relax back into its natural state of peace and joy. You have to do the work to get back to this.

As unfair as it seems children who have been abused make massive leaps and bounds in their evolution as they heal and reach peace within. A lot is asked of them to heal and find inner peace, but the reward is mighty. Unlike those not affected, those who were abused have a burning desire to heal. The healing process can become the primary drive in their life as they want to escape the pain and find peace, joy, love. It is a force that cannot be stopped. Hence, they evolve quite quickly in that lifetime, as opposed to someone who has had an easy life and feels no need to focus on healing or personal growth. So, as painful as it is, on the larger scale of things it is a gift, an invitation to wholeness, to learn forgiveness, mastery of your thoughts and emotions and connection with your heart and God.

Do not lose hope. Yes, there is a lot of work to do to heal from child abuse, but there is also a lot of help out there. You just have to find what works for you. Most will need a therapist of some type as you have to learn to trust another, to feel your emotions and speak your truth. This cannot be done on your own. Books can only help so much. Support groups are very beneficial as long as their focus is on healing and growth – not just on sharing wounded stories, sympathizing with each other, but not progressing.

quote-holding-on-to-anger-is-like-grasping-a-hot-coal-with-the-intent-of-throwing-it-at-someone-else-you-buddha-26643As anger and rage is worked through you will learn not to blame your parents or others. You will see they knew no better and often received the same treatment themselves. You will learn in time to forgive, not for the sake of the other person, but for your own sake. As if you hold onto resentment it is only your life that is affected with the bitterness and misery. You forgive to set yourself free, to no longer let the past affect you or that person control you.

forgivenessAs you process your emotions layer upon layer of issues related to various topics will arise. Forgiveness is not a once off act, but something you have to keep doing as you gain further insight into how much your life has been affected by the abuse. It takes a lot of strength to reach within and forgive the unforgivable.

Don’t waste energy trying to understand why something was done to you and perhaps not to your siblings. Do not go there! It was not about you. Abuse is about the perpetrator’s pain. They just take it out on you. It is their wounding that they are not coping with and it gets passed onto you to deal with. This happens generation after generation until one person says “Enough, this stops with me”. They commit to healing for their own sake and the sake of their current or future children. They break the link to abuse and heal the family dynamics so that future generations do not have to suffer from the unfinished business of their elder generations. Family karma is completed and the future generations freed from the tyranny. It is a brave soul that takes this healing journey on and there are many such brave souls on the planet now.

Know that you are supported to heal and grow. The right course, book, movie, song will occur to give you the necessary insight or tool to move forward. Time in nature can help soothe your soul and get in touch with what you are really feeling inside. There is a lot of support available today through websites, support groups, government funded programs, private practitioners and more.

You will be guided where you need to go. Trust. Seek help when you need it and go within to learn your truth, to see your freedom and opportunity for growth. Prayer and meditation help greatly, however, many people in the early stages find this hard as they feel foolish going within, speaking to a God who they feel has let them down, who should have protected them and kept them safe. For many there is a lot of rage and even hate for God. Others feel he/she does not exist. Each will work through this in time and come to realise that God is there, loving them, supporting them and smiling at their progress.

As souls we choose to incarnate and experience what we do, so we can grow and evolve. We choose the experiences and the other souls who would hurt us. We chose it to learn from and evolve through. God gives us free will to choose this, to go through these experiences. He/she will not interfere and stop it from happening for that would short circuit our evolution and growth. God sits waiting for us to call out for help and assistance, for us to invite him/her in. Then he/she can assist us, sending us to the right place or person for support, or helping us hear our inner guidance and what to do next.

While healing from child abuse is a long and painful process it is one that leads to liberation and freedom, massive amounts of personal growth and emotional intelligence. It is a path for higher guidance and quick evolution. It is a path only the brave walk and God is there waiting to hold our hand when we ask. Blessed BE. Amen.

By Jodi-Anne (24 June 2015).

Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.
Conscious Evolution

Where does Jesus fit into all of this?

jesus, buddha, krishnaJesus is one of many beings who completed his evolution to Source Energy or God-Realisation. He learned all of the lessons and completed the path to love, peace, Godliness. He mastered the lower emotions and darker densities. He forgave. He didn’t take actions of others personally. He didn’t seek revenge. He loved all. He was a role model of God in-action or Source Energy fully expressed.

Jesus is a role model for all to learn from, an example of how one with an open heart behaves. He shows us how to do so – to open our hearts through prayer and meditation, through contemplation in nature, through faith and trust.

There are many such role models who have ascended, completed their lifetimes on Earth. Many choose to stay a separated aspect of God so they can serve others, assisting humanity with their awakening. You refer to them as Guides, Angels and Archangels. Some have lived on Earth. Some haven’t. It matters not. What matters is there pure intent to serve and assist others in their awakening process.

God loves, cares and wants all his beings to be happy. It is not fantasy. It is fact. The natural state of all energy and therefore all beings is that of peace. We lose that when we incarnate on Earth and experience life’s challenges. God is there waiting / watching / helping us find our way back to the light and love of peace, of high vibration, of Source Energy or Godliness.

There is no mystery or contradiction here. God is not a person/being in the clouds. It is an energy, a vibration from which we are born and into which we return. We just choose to experience duality on Earth so that we can know what it feels like to experience different aspects of life. In spirit form we have no sense of up / down, high / low, happy / pain – as it is all just one, one energy, one wholeness, completeness. Souls choose to incarnate on Earth to experience these states, to learn and evolve into wholeness, the oneness of God / Source Energy.

It is hard for you humans to understand all of this. Your minds fight against it / fear it. The ego likes to think it is in charge and to accept the larger picture shows the ego is not in charge, not important and in fact that the mind and ego conditioning actually hinders you, slows you down from reaching Source Vibrations. Hence, the mind and ego resist acknowledging this truth and would prefer you just focused on day to day life. Then the ego would be in control and not threatened by the higher forces at play in the Universe.

The ego tries to keep you asleep as long as it can. It fuels fear, mistrust, doubt and shame. It uses these tactics to keep you away from the truth, which is that you are whole and perfect as you are There is no need for fixing or healing anything. You were born whole. It is just your judgements, unexpressed emotions and conditioning that needs to drop away, so that you can see your perfection, see that you are loved, cared for and complete.

Each awakens to this truth at the right time for that soul, then the evolutionary impulse drives you forward to completion of your life’s purpose and journey. The ego cannot stop you once you have realised your power, your connection with Source Energy / God. That connection is stronger than any trick the ego can use to distract you, make you feel small or unworthy. Because once you are connected to God in your heart you know you are worthy, you are loved and you are okay. There is nothing you need to do or be to earn God’s love. You are loved regardless of what you do or think. He/She simply waits for you to awaken to this knowing and then you can tune into the frequency of God, of Source Energy, of divine love and bliss. Your true state of being. Your home within.

Jesus, like Buddha, Krishna and many others was and is a role model for humanity to follow or use as a guide in their evolution to Godliness. They are beings who came before us to lead the way. In spirit they continue to help humanity and can be called on for advice.

In essence we are all one, all born of God, just discrete aspects that get to separate and evolve back into wholeness of God. There is not but God. It is all from the same energy. So no need for fighting over whose leader is best or whose version of religious doctrine is accurate. It is all just different stories of the same process described in the language of that time that resonated to that group of people. Same story, different tellings of it to suit those who listen.

Many people share these truths. Different segments of society will be drawn to different authors. Find the version which feels right to you, that resonates as truth and read that. Take it into your heart and reflect on it, listen for your inner guidance, your insight in relation to the information. The more you do this, the more you strengthen the connection with your heart and the more you will be able to access your own soul’s wisdom. You truly do have all the answers within, you just have to quieten the mind and strengthen the connection with your heart so you can hear it. Blessed BE. Amen.

Remember there is no need to figure it all out. That is just the mind / ego trying to make sense of it all, so it can feel some sense of control and mastery. Let it go and just BE. Enjoy life trusting that what you need to know will be revealed to you when the time is right. So relax and trust and enjoy your life. Blessed BE. Amen.

By Jodi-Anne (24 June 2015).
Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.
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Conscious Evolution

What is the pull to evolve?

as above so belowThe pull to evolve is the desire to vibrate at the rate of Source Energy. Being stuck in painful emotions keeps you at a lower vibration. This is not your natural vibratory state and the tension between the two is like a stretched rubber band pulling your vibration back up to its natural state.

The urge to grow, heal and find peace is simply the urge to reunite with Source Energy. We all know subconsciously that our natural state is one of peace and it is only life’s dramas that pull us out of it. The urge to evolve is to escape that drama and come back to centre, to peace. It is homeostasis of our vibration – our set-point – that the body tries to regulate itself to.

We take ourselves further and further away from it when we are focused in our heads rushing about and busy. When in that state we don’t notice nature and its stillness, its peace. We are moving too frantically. Ironically moving so fast in an attempt to have time at the end of the day to relax and be at peace, to unwind and be still. We could be that all the time if we chose a less hectic lifestyle, if we focused more on our hearts and our connection with self, Source/God/Universe/Whatever. When we feel that connection we feel at ease. Like when you have spent days in nature – you automatically slow down and feel peaceful. This is how nature helps us heal. It slows us down and raises our vibration. Sitting in nature allows density to drop away and vibration to raise.

So the urge to evolve is simply the body-mind trying to recapture its natural state of peace and bliss. When you do connect in at that higher level your mind is quiet enough that you can access guidance from your soul or higher self – the parts of you that are vibrating at a higher level and they guide you as to actions you can take to align yourself with Source. Each person has a different destiny, a different activity or purpose for their life.

What may be peaceful to one person may be boring or hard to another. We each have to find what it is that makes our heart sing, the activity that when we do it time flies by and we don’t even notice it passing. That is a sign of deep immersion or connection with Source. So each person’s path is different based on their joys, their passions, their ideas. It will vary lifetime to lifetime based on what the soul is focused on learning or completing. There is no God up there directing the show as such. It is just Source Energy evolving through us, reaching towards completion and that occurs when we manage to vibrate at that higher level and match Source Energy as much as we can. It takes many lifetimes to achieve and that is the evolutionary process, that is what is occurring and why so many people are drawn to esoteric studies, to personal growth and spirituality.

They know there is something more to life than the mundane rat race. They know they could feel a lot better than they do. They know they could enjoy life more than they have. This is the evolutionary pulse pulling everyone forward. It is like clock work, all proceeding at the right time and space as was designed prior to incarnation. It is all set ready to be played out. Therefore you can not mess it up or miss out on anything you were meant to experience. So relax and let life lead you to where you need to go. Don’t exhaust yourself trying to figure it all out. Relax, trust, quieten your mind and listen to your intuition and your heart. Hear its messages and take actions that you feel guided to take and which bring you greater joy. Life is about joy. We forget that. We forget how to play and enjoy life. As kids we know it is important and just do it. As adults we have been taught to be more serious, responsible and deadened – energetically we are deadened when we do not follow our heart, our aliveness, our joy and passion.

So let your heart open, let your vibration rise and have fun in life. That is how it is meant to be. God/Source will pull you forward to become all you are meant to be. The jobs, people, etc will appear at the right time and place. You will be guided to them. Trust. All is taken care of. All is organised. You just haven’t realised it. So enjoy it – all the good and the bad – and allow life to lead you forward, to help you raise your vibration and evolve to Source Consciousness, then your lifetime is complete. Not everyone will reach it this lifetime. It depends on what each person is here to learn.They may learn those lessons then leave, returning at a later date to continue their evolution towards Source Consciousness.

We are all walking the same path. There is no higher or lower beings. It is just a scale of consciousness and all people will complete the scale at some point. It is our destiny. It is the evolution of consciousness within our species. It is life on Earth. Blessed BE. Amen.

By Jodi-Anne (23 June 2015).
Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.
Conscious Evolution

What is God / Source Energy?

light of godGod is an energy that created all things. It is not a man in the sky or a woman for that matter. It is an energy that pervades all things and is part of it all. It does not judge, condemn or think like we do. It is simply a vibration of love, of wholeness, of completion. In that energy you feel complete and at peace, there is nothing you have to do or prove or become. It is just a state of peace that you relax into when you connect with Source/God.

So many of you have bizarre beliefs around God, but none of them are true. Humans judge. God doesn’t. Humans fear and get angry. God doesn’t. In this sense it is helpful to talk of Source Energy rather than God as people have less baggage around that term or concept.

God is just an energy that is constantly expanding and growing through us and the changes we make in our lives. As we grow and expand so does the energy or God. It is the evolution of consciousness, of life on this planet.

There is no Heaven or Hell other than that which we create for ourselves with our thoughts, our judgements and self depreciation. Source energy just is, it just is love, peace, happiness, etc. It is just a vibration you can tune into or become as you clear out your negative thinking and judgements, as you find peace within yourself by letting go of old emotions and baggage.

Heaven is that vibration of God, love, peace and we can have it now if we clear out the baggage and fear. Peace is our natural state of being. It is how we are born and how we die. Our minds just complicate things in between.

Babies are inherently peaceful, inquisitive and joyful, as they live in the moment and as such they live connected to God/Source Energy. They are in bliss most of the time. Until their thoughts take them out of the moment, their hunger or bodily discomfort takes their attention away from Source and onto the issue that does not feel the same as Source Energy. It is that shift in vibration, in feeling, that they cry about. “Heh, I was feeling great, now I don’t. What happened? What has gone wrong”.

Nothing has gone wrong, they are just experiencing life and the ongoing challenge to stay connected to Source Energy regardless of what you are experiencing. If you can just witness whatever it is that is occurring, from a flat tyre on a car or the death of a loved one, then you can breathe through the emotions, let them flow through you rather than bottle them up, then when the storm has passed you can reconnect with Source Energy quickly and return to your natural state of bliss and peace. It is only your thoughts about the event that drag it out and keep the pain going. If you let thoughts play out such as “Why me? Why does this happen to me? It always …. blah, blah, blah” then you keep yourself stuck in low vibration and painful emotions.

Learn to control your thoughts and witness them. Learn to change them to be more positive and supportive of yourself and others, then your vibration can raise and you can be connected to Source/God/Universe/Whatever more of the time. You are always connected, but when you are in turmoil you don’t feel the connection, the peace, the bliss. But it is always there for you to tap into. It is this underlying energy that is God – an energy force constantly evolving through us and expanding the light in the Universe. Blessed BE. Choose peace in all you do. Amen.

By Jodi-Anne (23 June 2015).
Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.
Healing from child abuse Relationships

Why is it hard to love others fully?

4209049-end-of-love-normalHow do you love another fully? By not fearing losing them or being rejected by them. By accepting them fully as they are – good points and bad points. We all want to be loved and trusted, but we fear showing our true self to others for fear of rejection, loss, pain.

It is sad but true, most people keep a wedge between themselves and others. They only let people in close enough to connect, but far enough away they feel safe. Then they wonder why they feel alone.

To live life is to love fully. You need to fully love to live fully. To hold back out of fear means you never experience the fullness of being seen, held, known and loved. It would be sad to miss out on that greatest of gifts. Choose to love fully, choose to risk your heart breaking. It will only break open. Do not see loss of loved ones as inevitable. See it as destined timing for being together and apart. You share in each others lives for a time and then others come into your life.

You will always love someone, something and hopefully yourself as well. For when you love yourself fully you do not feel so alone, nor does separation with another feel so devastating as you still have your own love to sustain you as well as God’s and that is a lot of love.

So take the risk and love fully, let people close, know they can’t really hurt you. Even if they leave how you think about it is what determines your reactions to it. You can choose to celebrate what you shared and be grateful. You can choose to be excited knowing the Universe will bring you another great love in time. You could choose to mourn the loss of this love or be devastated by it. You can choose to see the time alone as a chance for self reflection and growth. It all depends on what you think about the situation and how you choose to react.

Know that death is not the end, but the beginning. Death is a reuniting with your whole self – soul energy with God’s energy and your higher self, the part of you that is God-realised. Death is a coming home to the fullness of who you are. It is a celebration of light not encountered while on Earth. It is rhapsody and pleasure. It is bliss.

We all will die. We all must awaken to that truth and celebrate life while we have it. Make the most of your interactions with others. Love fully so you will not be alone at the end, but surrounded by all who hold you dear. Celebrate their lives and yours and all you have shared. Do not hold back out of fear. Do not isolate yourself or stay stuck in pain. Let go of the past and any hurt from relationships. Start a fresh each day choosing love and laughter. The choice is up to you. In the end that is what it comes down to, a choice – to love or not to love and how much to love. Choose to love fully and you will experience life more fully.

Let the guard down and love. No need to protect yourself, defend yourself, keep a distance between you and others. Let people close. Love them and their flaws and they can love you and yours. We all have areas for growth. We all have habits we could improve. That is okay. We all deserve love, we don’t need to be perfect. We don’t need to earn love. We all deserve it because we are alive and being alive is an opportunity to love – to give and receive love. So let the guards come down and love. Blessed BE. Amen.

By Jodi-Anne (21 June 2015).

Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.
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