How to accept the now and not focus on past or future as the source of happiness

Many people are trapped in the past. “I enjoyed life when I was ……., why can’t it be like that again? Why did it have to change?” This is victim thinking. You can’t change what happened, but you can create a life you enjoy now. Let go of resentment, regret, fear and loss by living NOW. Do something you enjoy, rather than wallowing in your mind and on your own. Go outdoors and sing, enjoy your life. It is up to you.

Similarly, many people are trapped in the future, always thinking about what will be, what is yet to come, this prevents them from living life fully as they are so preoccupied with the future that they don’t take action now. This is pointless. It wastes the now with daydreaming. If your daydreaming feels good and inspires you then it is beneficial, a part of manifesting your desires and bringing them closer to you. But if your daydreaming leaves you sad, longing for what could be and not enjoying or happy with now, then it is detrimental.

There is no guarantee that the future you envision will occur as you want it to, and even if it does, it may not be the perfect panacea you imagine. Life will always have challenges. You just have to move through them and choose to make the best out of every situation you face.

To be happy you need to acknowledge and accept what is. You need to be grateful for all that you do have, rather than resentful because you don’t have what you want most. What you want will come when you clear out your resistance and raise your vibration, so you match the vibration of your desired item, person, place or thing. It can come when you are open fully to love, to receiving, to acceptance and harmony. It won’t come while you are sulky, sad, resentful, bored, glum, depressed, etc. See this. Wallowing in self-pity does not move you closer to your goals.

If you are feeling stressed, unhappy with your now, restless or anxious, then Tension and Trauma Release Exercises (TRE) may help you to unwind all that tension so that it is easier to be in the now. TRE can help you to let go of old trauma activations, to complete them by tremoring out and moving through all those stored emotions and energies in your body from past challenging moments.

When you complete the old trauma activations, the fight or flight moments, the frozen in terror moments, the collapsed in defeat, resignation and despair moments… when these are cleared out of your body it is easier to face the now and welcome in the new.

When you are clogged up with all the old feelings, fears and traumas of course it’s hard to be here now, present, open and enjoying life.

It’s not that you’re broken, flawed, lazy, etc. You just have baggage inside you to clear up, to sort through and to discard that which no longer serves you. It’s just a task to be done. Like cleaning house. the longer we delay doing it the bigger the job is, and it can become overwhelming.

It’s best to just start. Choose one thing to do to change your circumstances and start. That might be exercising more, eating better, meditating, going out with friends or starting a hobby. Choose one thing you know you will feel better after doing it and do it. This is how you start to enjoy your now more.

You need to train yourself to take action so you will be happier with now and more hopeful of what is to come.

How do you do that if you are currently unhappy with now? Make gratitude lists, see the benefits of now. You have a home, food to eat, a job to do, friends and maybe a partner. You may have pets or family who you love and enjoy spending time with, a sport or a hobby you enjoy doing, there is nature to explore. There are many benefits/blessings all around you. You just have to focus on all of these gifts and accept the now as enough. “I am satisfied with my life”. “I make the most of my life”. “I enjoy my now, every moment”. “I accept my now and what is occurring in my life”. “I accept my life and trust in my future”. “I focus on the now, knowing that is all I need to do”. You don’t have to make the future happen. It will come automatically. There are many core beliefs/thinking patterns to change and replace with the examples given above. It really is about loving what is, not fighting against it.

Your happily ever after is a myth, there will always be challenges and growth occurring. Life is about evolutionary growth and awakening to the light, learning to be peaceful and content in all situations. If you are not content now it just shows you the potential growth you are yet to achieve.

Life does not need to be hard. You do not have to struggle or feel you have missed out on so many things. This is all just flawed thinking. You have experienced exactly what you were meant to experience. You have what you most need to support your growth and evolution. The Universe delivers the people, situations, places and experiences you need to evolve. It occurs without your active involvement. It is like a movie, the destination is preset and is just unfolding around you, revealing itself to you in each moment.

Let go of the struggle and fight, accept what is. Do this by consciously catching yourself whenever you are thinking unhelpful thoughts. Deliberately think positive, supportive thoughts – reprogram your subconscious mind so these are your default thinking patterns. There are many ways to do this – Psych-K, Lifeline Technique, affirmations, etc. Do it so that you do not have to work so hard all the time. Then you can flow with life and accept what is. Life can be a blissful party if you accept it fully and ride the wave of whatever comes. Just accept and move through every situation that comes, trusting there is a reason for it, some evolutionary growth in it. Life just happens. There are no mistakes and no wasted moments. It is all helping you move forward in life.

You can fight against it, but it won’t change what occurs, just your experience of it. So choose to enjoy it as much as you can. You are only harming yourself with your thoughts and decreasing your joy and vitality. Choose to enjoy every moment. It is up to you and you can do it. It is a choice, a practice to develop and do so much that it becomes a habit and automatic to you, like driving a car. It took a lot of effort, focus and remembering/practising to drive a car safely and smoothly, but after a while, it becomes natural, automatic. You need to do the same with your thinking patterns until they become automatically positive and helpful in creating a joyous experience of the now, of each moment in your life. That is what is needed to let go of focusing on the past or future as your place of happiness.

There is no magic cure. You have to make the effort to change your thinking patterns and take action to create a more enjoyable experience now. Do a hobby, visit friends, have fun. Don’t just sit at home wishing it was different. Take action to change your experience of life and be grateful for all you have and all that is to come. Trust God/The Universe to bring you perfect experiences without you having to force it / beg it / make it happen. Life wants you to evolve and will bring you what is needed. Trust in that and relax. Enjoy life now. It is up to you. Blessed BE. Amen.

By Jodi-Anne (20 Sept 2015).

Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.

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