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Conscious Evolution Healing from child abuse Personal Development

Snippets of wisdom…

Snippets of wisdom channeled June 2013.

You don’t have to have a complex life. You don’t have to save the world, find the solutions. It is okay to do work you enjoy. It is okay to choose a simple life that fulfills you and brings you joy. This is the goal! To move beyond ego, beyond searching and seeking and be simple and still. To accept and flow with what is. To love life, serve yourself and others being anchored in God’s love.

This was a powerful message for me from my higher self. For most of my life I have felt driven to ‘save the world’, to ‘save Mother Earth’, to find the solutions for sustainability. I have known for a long time that this compulsive drive stemmed from my childhood conditioning – from wanting to save my Mother from an abusive husband (my step-dad), and from wanting to succeed enough that my Dad might take me back, might love me. My Dad loves nature and I spent a lot of time in nature with him when I was a young child, so in my mind it seemed natural to think that if I achieved in the sustainability field it would matter to him. Despite knowing the source of this pattern and the fact that my desire to rescue Mother Earth was just a projection of my needing to save myself, the pattern has remained in place. Partly because I didn’t feel that I was a worthwhile human being unless I was being of service to the Earth or to others. I felt unwanted, unlovable, and unsafe interacting with the world. I hid who I really was behind the work-a-holic, super achiever. This helped me cope, but it didn’t lead to happiness. It led to a lot of seclusion and ultimately depression when I finally faced the fact that success meant nothing.

Since that realisation I have done a lot of soul searching and reprogramming of my subconscious beliefs to know that I am lovable, I am good enough, I am wanted and worthwhile. This helped and for the last few years I have focused more on honouring myself and living a simple life. I have only worked part time and I haven’t focused on achieving very much at all. I live in the country surrounded by nature and I grow my own vegies, collect fire wood for our wood heater and compost our food scraps. This way of living makes my heart sing. I am at peace amongst nature and in the quietude of life. But too much isolation isn’t healthy either! Too much isolation leads to loneliness and eventually depression.

So now I’m venturing back out into the world and aiming to have balance between working and living simply. It is an interesting process watching the old stuff come up and being grateful that I can just lovingly dismiss it. I am not hooked by it. I don’t have to achieve. I don’t have to ‘save’ anyone or anything. It is okay for me to relax and enjoy life. It is okay for me to play and let people close. It is okay for me to love and follow my heart. It is okay for me to marry and have a baby. It has taken a long time to reach this place of peace. There has been lots of resistance, lots of grief and lots of fear. A big part of me would prefer to hide forever and keep people at a distance. But not my heart. My heart wants to love fully and deeply, to honour all who I come in contact with, including myself. I know now it is okay to be me. That it is enough and that it is all I need to do. It’s time to enjoy life and being me!!

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Conscious Evolution Healing from child abuse Personal Development

Snippets of wisdom….

Snippets of wisdom channeled June 2013.

You went through what was needed to get you to God and it worked. Now you must live in both worlds.

You are second guessing the Divine and that is always pointless.

Just because you can’t see how it is going to work out, doesn’t mean it won’t. You are required to trust and have faith.

Sometimes it is tempting to question what the hell is going on here on Earth. I mean, seriously, do we have to go through so much pain and suffering? Do we have to become so lost in despair before we can find peace and happiness? The answer, for me, is yes. If life was all rosy and easy then we wouldn’t turn to God for help, we wouldn’t surrender to a higher power. We would live simply from the ego fulfilling our every desire and focused on achieving more, having more pleasure, and getting more material stuff. This is true for a lot of people. There may be some saints out there who go beyond the ego level without suffering first, but they are far and few in between.

It is often the case that people only open up to a higher purpose in life once they have hit rock bottom. Once they have tried all that they can do to heal themselves or lift themselves up out of the painful situation that they are in. It is when we fall to our knees in desperation and we call out to a God we may not even believe in or believe can help us, that we start to surrender, that we start to separate from the ego and to embrace a new possibility.

For me, and many I know, it was my pain that caused me to open to a wider version of life than I ever knew was possible. I embraced personal growth, spirituality and eventually God. I reveled in the peace, the love, the joy that was found in such communities. The safe space that was created when wounded but loving people joined together in search of healing and happiness. I LOVED THIS! But I embraced it so much I stopped interacting in the real world. I lost focus on my career, on life. All I wanted to do was healing type activities and spend time with healing focused people. I lost balance. I lived in my higher chakras and not my lower chakras.

To be truly healthy we need to live in both worlds, to interact with all people and to spread love where ever we go. It doesn’t matter what your job is, you can spread love with those you interact with – be it just a smile, a kind word, a listening ear. You can positively impact all that you come in contact with, just by being YOU, just by being patient, kind and loving. That is being of service. You don’t have to go live in an ashram or give up all your material possessions. You just need balance – a foot in each world. We are spiritual beings in human bodies living an Earthly life.

Categories
Conscious Evolution Healing from child abuse Personal Development

Snippets of wisdom….

Snippets of wisdom channeled June 2013.

Follow your intuition, when it guides you to something but otherwise just BE, turn within – the answers you seek are there.

Don’t force yourself to do anything. Wait until you want to do something then do it.

This advice was given to me by my higher self when I was struggling to do what I felt I needed to do. I felt overburdened emotionally and physically with my to do list. Spirit advised me to be kind to myself, to not force myself to keep doing, doing, doing. This has been one of my biggest patterns this lifetime – I value work and achieving and have seen resting as foolish and lazy. Of course keeping busy means you don’t have to feel the emotions building inside, you can keep shoving them down until of course they explode! Not an effective coping mechanism in the long run.

I find it hard to shut off if I have something I feel I need to do. But I have followed my higher self’s advice often enough to know it is true. If I force myself to mark those assignments or do that task which I don’t really feel like doing, I end up doing it but it s hard work, I’m resentful and exhausted by it. Whereas if I trust that I don’t feel like it for a reason, if I go off and read a book, go for a walk, or call a friend – if I honour my needs first – then sure enough a time does come when I am willing to do the task and I can now do it from a place of love and joy. Sometimes it seems like time is running out, but the task always gets done. A burst of energy comes when needed. I am learning to trust this process and surrender into grace, into God’s timing not my timing.

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Conscious Evolution Personal Development

Snippets of wisdom….

Snippets of wisdom channeled May – June 2013.

Just do what makes you happy.

You don’t need fixing neither does anyone else. Just spread love.

When you feel despair know that you’ve lost resonance – you’ve lowered energy and gone into shadow – so do a balancing process and reconnect to your radiant self, to God and to your heart.

Many of us feel like we need fixing, like there is something wrong with us, that we’re not good enough or not okay as we are. In reality that is just our perception based on a lot of conditioning from the past. When we fall into this way of thinking it is easy to beat ourselves up, to become angry or upset, to fall into despair and grief. The black hole can get bigger and bigger depending on our thinking patterns and the actions we take.

When you start to beat yourself up, stop, take a deep breath and a step back. Try to witness what is going on and to see where you are feeling vulnerable. What is it that has been triggered? What is it that you are afraid of? Send yourself love. Give yourself the consolation and comfort that you need. Be the good parent to your own inner child.

We actually are all perfect as we are. Any damage we carry is just emotional baggage that can be released. We are still whole and complete underneath it. We just have to release the baggage and take off all those layers of protection that keep us feeling small and behaving that way.

To do that all we need to do is to accept our self and how we are feeling. So instead of beating your self up, stop, breathe, recognise the pattern and the thoughts. Send love to your self and the parts of you that are hurting. Breathe into your heart chakra and connect with your emotions. Allow them to flow through you. Just breathe. If you need to scream, scream. If you need to cry, cry. If you need to release rage do so – just do it in a way that does not hurt you or anyone else. Some people yell, some people punch a punching bag, go for a long walk or run, do whatever you need to do to shift the emotion. And know it is just that emotion. Once you release it you can balance back up.

Many of us are afraid to release our emotions, afraid that if we let some of it out, the rest will come pouring out and over whelm us. It’s okay. Support yourself through the process. If you need to have a friend with you, do so or if you need to have someone you can ring if you really struggle then arrange it. If you need to see a therapist to help you learn the skills of emotional release and balancing then do so. Whatever works for you is okay. There’s no need to keep swallowing it and pushing it down. You don’t need to punish yourself any more. Let freedom in. Make space for it by clearing out the old emotions and baggage. Create space for love, joy, laughter and peace. It is well worth the effort!

 

Categories
Conscious Evolution Healing from child abuse

Snippets of wisdom…..

Snippets of wisdom channeled April 2013.

You judged, feared, panicked and it was not necessary. God will always take care of you and provide what you need.

You are struggling because you resist what is.

You are not broken and you don’t need fixing. You forget that when you feel blue. Remember you are perfect as you are.

Expect less, enjoy more…

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Conscious Evolution Personal Development Uncategorized

Conscious evolution – an example through story – The Celestine Prophecy

celestine prophecyThe Celestine Prophecy and the follow on books by James Redfield are a great example of conscious evolution and the process that we all must go through as we open up to our intuition and living life according to synchronicities and flow. Through out the novels James explains his understanding of the way the Universe works and how we are all evolving. It contains great wisdom and every time I read them it reminds me at a deeper level of the beauty and mysteries of life. It helps me to reset my sail and tune in on a deeper level to my internal guidance. I love his books and the insights that come from them. Below is a list of the Celestine Insights and some short videos – one of James Redfield discussing his most recent book in the series titled ‘The twelfth Insight’ published in 2011 and the trailer to the Celestine Prophecy movie which was released in 2006.

The Celestine Insights

Here is a copy of his Celestine Insights as published on – http://www.celestinevision.com/insights.html.

THE FIRST INSIGHT . . . A CRITICAL MASS – A new spiritual awakening is occurring in human culture, an awakening brought about by a critical mass of individuals who experience their lives as a spiritual unfolding, a journey in which we are led forward by mysterious coincidences.

THE SECOND INSIGHT . . . THE LONGER NOW – This awakening represents the creation of a new, more complete worldview, which replaces a five-hundred-year-old preoccupation with secular survival and comfort. While this technological preoccupation was an important step, our awakening to life’s coincidences is opening us up to the real purpose of human life on this planet, and the real nature of our universe.

THE THIRD INSIGHT . . . A MATTER OF ENERGY – We now experience that we live not in a material universe, but in a universe of dynamic energy. Everything extant is a field of sacred energy that we can sense and intuit. Moreover, we humans can project our energy by focusing our attention in the desired direction…where attention goes, energy flows…influencing other energy systems and increasing the pace of coincidences in our lives.

THE FOURTH INSIGHT . . . THE STRUGGLE FOR POWER – Too often humans cut themselves off from the greater source of this energy and so feel weak and insecure. To gain energy we tend to manipulate or force others to give us attention and thus energy. When we successfully dominate others in this way, we feel more powerful, but they are left weakened and often fight back. Competition for scarce, human energy is the cause of all conflict between people.

THE FIFTH INSIGHT . . . THE MESSAGE OF THE MYSTICS – Insecurity and violence ends when we experience an inner connection with divine energy within, a connection described by mystics of all traditions. A sense of lightness–buoyancy–along with the constant sensation of love are measures of this connection. If these measures are present, the connection is real. If not, it is only pretended.

THE SIXTH INSIGHT . . . CLEARING THE PAST – The more we stay connected, the more we are acutely aware of those times when we lose connection, usually when we are under stress. In these times, we can see our own particular way of stealing energy from others. Once our manipulations are brought to personal awareness, our connection becomes more constant and we can discover our own growth path in life, and our spiritual mission–the personal way we can contribute to the world.

THE SEVENTH INSIGHT . . . ENGAGING THE FLOW – Knowing our personal mission further enhances the flow of mysterious coincidences as we are guided toward our destinies. First we have a question; then dreams, daydreams, and intuitions lead us towards the answers, which usually are synchronistically provided by the wisdom of another human being.

THE EIGHTH INSIGHT . . . THE INTERPERSONAL ETHIC – We can increase the frequency of guiding coincidences by uplifting every person that comes into our lives. Care must be taken not to lose our inner connection in romantic relationships. Uplifting others is especially effective in groups where each member can feel energy of all the others. With children it is extremely important for their early security and growth. By seeing the beauty in every face, we lift others into their wisest self, and increase the chances of hearing a synchronistic message.

THE NINTH INSIGHT . . .THE EMERGING CULTURE – As we all evolve toward the best completion of our spiritual missions, the technological means of survival will be fully automated as humans focus instead on synchronistic growth. Such growth will move humans into higher energy states, ultimately transforming our bodies into spiritual form and uniting this dimension of existence with the after-life dimension, ending the cycle of birth and death.

tenth insightTHE TENTH INSIGHT . . . HOLDING THE VISION – The Tenth Insight is the realization that throughout history human beings have been unconsciously struggling to implement this lived spirituality on Earth. Each of us comes here on assignment, and as we pull this understanding into consciousness, we can remember a fuller birth vision of what we wanted to accomplish with our lives. Further we can remember a common world vision of how we will all work together to create a new spiritual culture. We know that our challenge is to hold this vision with intention and prayer everyday.

Eleventh insightTHE ELEVENTH INSIGHT . . . EXTENDING PRAYER FIELDS – The Eleventh Insight is the precise method through which we hold the vision. For centuries, religious scriptures, poems, and philosophies have pointed to a latent power of mind within all of us that mysteriously helps to affect what occurs in the future. It has been called faith power, positive thinking, and the power of prayer. We are now taking this power seriously enough to bring a fuller knowledge of it into public awareness. We are finding that this prayer power is a field of intention, which moves out from us and can be extended and strengthened, especially when we connect with others in a common vision. This is the power through which we hold the vision of a spiritual world and build the energy in ourselves and in others to make this vision a reality.

James doesn’t list what the twelfth insight is yet, but he provides this introduction to it on the twelfth insight webpage – http://www.thetwelfthinsight.com/

the twelfth insightTHE TWELFTH INSIGHT . . . ?????  – I believe  a new, very exciting time is beginning in human history. I call it the 12th Insight. The Mayan Calendar calls it the Ninth Wave of Creation. But whatever it is called, it is a new clarity about the nature of the universe, and how we, as individuals, can put spiritual knowledge into very practical application to find a higher path through life. Think about it. We have been pursuing spiritual knowledge in a mass way for decades. And finally we’ve reached the clarity to put it into action, to live it everyday! As we act individually, we create together a new cultural  approach to life that is the key to solving all the problems facing human society. I believe we can already sense what is occurring. There is a new call for civility and honesty in politics and business. It’s the new urge we feel to live a more authentic life of integrity. The emerging Twelfth Insight represents a spiritual life that the best of every religious tradition has always held true, and that, in fact, points the way toward peace. There has never been a more exciting time to be alive. In spite of all our problems, this new awareness can be contagious, moving from person to person and can resolve everything. We just have to consciously share the truth of what we are doing. Remember, it’s not the end times. We’re just beginning. It’s morning in the world!

[youtube=http://youtu.be/JsjjfoTJrD4]

The Celestine Prophecy Movie

James Redfield’s first book the Celestine Prophecy was made into a movie several years ago now. It is a good summary but of course like all movies it can only contain some of the material from the book and some of its wisdom. It is well worth a watch and the books are well worth reading once, twice or many times! Here is the movie trailer.

[youtube=http://youtu.be/yUdDvrAFI1k]

Categories
Conscious Evolution Healing from child abuse Health

What is love?

This is a beautiful 6 minute video about the healing power of love. The video contains quotes from wise scholars and prophets and is set to images of nature’s beauty and glory. Uplifting and meaningful, it is worth watching. Love heals.

[vimeo http://vimeo.com/35407335]

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Conscious Evolution Healing from child abuse Health Parenting

Nurturing children

Some thoughts on parenting – combining insights from neuroscience, new biological sciences, conscious parenting, and psychology.

Children learn what they liveChildren need love and affection

Children need to feel loved and accepted in order for their brains to develop optimally. Even prior to the formation of your egg or sperm your thoughts about yourself, the world and your desire or not to have a child and your ability to care for that child or not, start shaping the personality of a possible child. Your thoughts affect what genes are selected and programmed on your egg or sperm. So even prior to conception you have the ability to affect the personality and intelligence of your child.

Children need your time and attention

Even in the womb children benefit from you connecting with them, talking to them, telling them they are loved, wanted, welcomed, that the world is a safe place, that you look forward to sharing your life with them. This prenatal attachment helps your baby’s brain to grow in optimal ways.

foot inside bellyBlood flow from the Mother crosses the placenta carrying all the Mother’s beliefs, emotions and stressors. The baby gets the lot. It is as nature intended it – shaping the baby to learn and survive in the world as the Mother sees it. If the Mother sees a loving world and experiences that (hence the role of the Father is also key here) then the foetus will grow optimally. If she sees a harsh, scary, dangerous world the foetus will develop differently. The blood flow will be diverted from brain development to muscle development so that the child will be able to survive, be a fighter in the world, able to fight or run away from danger. In this way 50% of IQ can be diminished if the foetus is carried in fear during pregnancy. (Bruce Lipton talks about this, see his material if you want to learn more).

If the Mother is very stressed then her body is full of cortisol and this is toxic to a developing baby’s brain. It actually eats away / dissolves the brain cells. (The same happens when a baby is left to cry – cortisol is secreted and can damage the brain). What you do during your pregnancy has a major impact on the development of your child-to-be’s IQ and physiology. Up to half of their personality is already formed before they are even born.

Children need loving births and to bond with you immediately

The birth process also affects the child and its experience of the world. Is it stressful, noisy, loud and invasive – like a hospital can be? Was the birth traumatic with the Mother and Father in fear? Were there any complications? Was the baby taken from the Mother and tested for various things – pricked in the foot for blood tests, immunised, a plastic scapula stuck down its throat to sample its stomach contents, weighed on a cold scale? All of these things affect the child’s perception of the world and whether it is safe, welcoming or not.

bonding with dadIf drugs were used during the labour these have also entered the baby across the placenta. This can leave a baby unaware, not fully present for the first few days. And this time is some of the most crucial time for bonding and attachment with the parents. The baby needs to be held, loved, nurtured, have lots of eye contact and skin to skin contact with both the Mother and the Father. Without it bonding does not occur and this sets the baby up with abandonment issues, feelings of being unloved, etc. These early moments are so, so important. Science is now confirming what those with open hearts have always known. Babies do feel, are sensitive to pain from the very start, from their time in the womb. All that you do impacts them. Your role as parent is so, so important shaping their health and personality and the role they will play in society.

It is now being fully recognised by politicians and community health personnel that if you raise babies in a more loving and nurturing way those children will grow up with a healthier sense of self esteem and connection with society. Poor care giving leads to more crime, ill health, poverty and other undesirable characteristics. That is why Governments, including Australia, are introducing policies to support parents and improve early care giving. We will continue to see more and more early care services for families as this recognition becomes widely accepted in society.

Parents need help to look after their babies optimally. Parenting is a hard job. It requires you to give and give and give. If you are stressed, resentful, depressed or even just unhappy with your life – your baby absorbs that and may believe it is their fault. Setting up beliefs of “I’m a problem”, “I’m not good enough”. Even if they don’t do that, they learn about life from you, so they will automatically expect their life to be the same.

Children learn from your every move

From 0-6 years of age their brains have not developed conscious functioning – the ability to question data. From 0-6 years they simply believe everything that they are told or what they see and sense about the world from watching you. If they see you sad or scared or stressed, they absorb it. If they hear you say that they are bad, unwanted, have spoilt things, are selfish, stupid, you wish they were never born, etc, they absorb it and believe it. This forms their core belief system that will then affect them for the rest of their life.

Parents, most anyway, do not set out to damage their children, but when they are stressed and exhausted such statements can slip out. Especially if that is what you were told when you were little. Your parents programmed your beliefs from 0-6 years of age as you do with your children. These patterns can repeat through the generations unless you make a conscious decision to heal and change those beliefs – then your actions can be different.

Conscious parenting is a great start, learning what you can about loving and nurturing methods to promote a baby and child’s self esteem, individuality and emotional intelligence. The knowledge is key. You will be able to apply it when you are calm, centred and feeling good. But when you are stressed you may be shocked to find that you revert back to not so ideal ways of talking to and treating your baby or child. You may hear your Mother’s of Father’s words coming out of your own mouth. Because when you are stressed you react more from the subconscious mind, on auto pilot. And this is the part of the brain that was programmed from 0-6 years old. It contains all the memories, feelings, beliefs form those times and plays them like tape recordings over and over. It does not judge or think it just plays over and over. Changing these tapes to more loving ones about yourself, your ability to be a good parent, about your child is crucial to good child rearing. It is this information which is now leading to greater support for families. With less stress it is easier to be more loving and kind to your child.

Parents need support

Whether it just be friends or family who can help around the house – getting drinks, meals, cleaning up, taking older kids out so that parents can bond with a new baby or family and friends helping to hold the baby when it cries so the Mother and Father can rest.

Crying is a natural biological process for releasing tension and stress. Sometimes your baby just needs to cry. There is nothing that they need other than to be held and loved while they cry. This can be challenging to a parent, especially a first time parent, who assumes that they are doing something wrong. Their belief tapes play “I’m not good enough”, “I’m a bad parent”, “My baby doesn’t like me” or “My baby/toddler is deliberately trying to upset or disobey me”. (Some people do have these beliefs, believing that babies and toddlers are deliberately trying to upset them, but this is not possible, their brains have not developed that much yet. They are not wilfully disobeying, they are just being babies/toddlers. They don’t need judgment or punishment, they need love and acceptance.)

A constantly crying baby can wear a parent down and it is important that another caregiver is present to take over and hold the baby when the parent can no longer do so in a loving way. This does not occur in a lot of families and what happens instead is that the baby senses your stress, anger, desperation = danger. You may have started to pat or bounce them a little harder. You may have shoved a dummy or food in their mouth. You may have put them down and walked away. All of these responses tell a baby it is not safe to express my emotions. They learn to bury the tension inside their bodies, setting up a lifelong pattern of emotional regression and inability to ask for what they need. Using food to comfort a child can set it up for obesity and eating disorders in the future.

Children need to express their emotions

This pattern is usually reinforced during toddler years and beyond if the child is not allowed to express it’s emotions to you. Often a child will be unhappy with something that you have done or something you won’t let them do. Few parents let their child express this. It leads the parents to feel hurt or guilt, and they can’t handle it so they stifle the child instead. “Don’t talk back”. “Respect your elders”. “Because I said so”. Are all ways parents use to stop a child expressing itself.

Ideally children from a young age are taught it is okay to express their emotions. This can be role modelled using I statements. “When you do ….. I feel and I’d prefer …….” This is healthy. Children can also draw, write about what they feel. They can be taught to punch a pillow or kick the bed when they are angry and get their emotion out. Teach them that is okay but hitting a person or animal is not.

tantrumTantrums are an overflow of emotion that they don’t know how to express. They literally lose control of their senses as their body is flooded with hormones and chemicals. It is very scary for a child to experience. What they need when this occurs is for you to stay present, talk calmly to them, and wait for the chemicals to pass, for their nervous system to regulate, so they regain their bodily control. Do not walk away, yell at them or shame them. Abandoning them during such a time teaches them they can’t rely on you or anyone to be there for them in their time of need. Remember from 0-6 years old they don’t have the ability to question data, it just gets absorbed. They can’t rationalise and say “Mummy’s just upset or tired, that’s why she walked away”. They see you walk away angry and assume it is their fault, that they are a bad person, not good enough, etc. If you do need to walk away say why. Say you are tired, stressed, need some time to yourself or to rest. Say this so the child knows it is not because they are bad.

Children need boundaries not discipline

It’s perfectly okay, desirable and healthy even, for you to assert your needs and desires with your toddler and older children. Let them know you have needs. For instance “I need you to go to sleep now, so Mummy can rest too”. “I need you to tidy your room as it is getting hard for me to walk around and that upsets me”. “I need some time with Daddy now so please go to sleep. I’ve enjoyed our day together, now it’s sleep time”. A child is more likely to go to sleep hearing this than if you try to tell them “You need to sleep so you will be refreshed in the morning or so you can concentrate at school tomorrow”. The child doesn’t care about these things, they are in the future, not now. Explaining your needs helps them learn that you are human, that you have needs too, that you won’t always be able to give to them. That is good. It helps them learn to be considerate of others and to be a caring member of society.

Letting your child walk all over you, treat you poorly, get away with all sorts of undesirable behaviour is damaging to them and to you. They need boundaries. They need to be taught about morals and care for self, others and the planet. These things can be done naturally and easily if you use such positive communication processes as I statements, as you role model healthy emotional intelligence and teach them the same. Make activities and chores fun, a chance to connect, then they will gladly tidy their room, help with the dishes, etc. Show your appreciation of their help. Your genuine praise warms the heart of your child and builds their self esteem. They will do more of what you want to get that warm, good feeling about themselves. If you have this connection and bond, you don’t need to coerce, manipulate or shame a child into doing the right thing. They will do it because they love you, you love them, you’ve made it fun, you’ve explained why it is important to do and they will get that yummy feeling. This is the reward that means the most to them.

If however you use star charts and rewards like chocolate, toys or special outings, the child may do the desired behaviour but they do it because they want the reward. Not because it is the right thing or considerate thing to do. They don’t learn the moral. They learn to focus on achieving, success, consuming / materialism. This is not healthy or desirable for them or society or the planet. There are already too many people wasting their lives working hard to get material possessions they don’t really need, which pollute the Earth. What is needed or more beneficial is people recognising that what really matters is family, friends, love, connection with self and others, doing what you want, being yourself, enjoying life and honouring the Earth. This is much more balanced, much healthier.

We can role model this for our children. Choose to spend more time with them and go without the fancy gadget. Your child will benefit immensely as will you. With strong connection discipline problems don’t occur and any minor issues can be resolved quickly and easily through talking about each person’s needs, feelings and desires. Get children to problem solve – identify different options and choose one. Get them to reflect on what happened, why and what could be done differently next time. This is a respectful and honouring way to resolve conflicts.

A_father_is_threatening_his_little_boy_with_a_fingerUsing traditional disciplining methods (hitting, spanking, yelling, shaming, punishing) just drives a wedge between you and your child. If they aren’t allowed to express their feelings they bury it inside. But be warned you will hear about it when they are teenagers! The brain starts to grow again in teenage years and all their unmet toddler needs surface. The hormones and hurts lead to a volatile combination fuelling teenage rebellion. They are now old enough to question your behaviour and to see where you have been less than ideal. They may not respect you or listen to you as you didn’t show them respect or listen to them when little. If you treat them lovingly and nurturingly when little teenage years can be a lot easier.

If a child is refusing to dress use natural consequences. Let them go outside without a jumper. When they get cold they’ll ask for it and they will have learnt why it is a good idea to wear one. Don’t fight and struggle. Find ways to make it easy, fun. Give a child a choice – “Today you can wear this or this outfit, which would you prefer?” Or let them choose out the wardrobe. Be prepared that they may not dress the way you like – a dress up outfit, mismatched clothing – but if they are happy, dressed and warm why should you care if it doesn’t match? That’s just societal conditioning about how we should do things. It does not mean you’re a bad parent if your child isn’t dressed traditionally. Let go of such thoughts.

Let your child play and their imaginations flourish. Don’t deaden life into routine and boring normality. Let their individuality shine through. This makes you a loving parent, one others could learn from. Do what your heart tells you is right, not what your head or mind says. If negative beliefs come up, look at them, heal them. There are a range of techniques that can be used to reprogram your subconscious mind with more positive and self supportive beliefs. Psych-K, the Lifeline Technique, even affirmations if done regularly, with feeling, looking into your own eyes in the mirror can do this. They can change the belief which leads to a rewiring of your brain. Science has now shown the truth of all this.

No parent can meet all their child’s needs all the time. Everyone falls short of the parenting ideal at times. Please do not beat yourself up about anything that may have happened in the past. You can’t change what has happened but you can commit to being a more conscious and nurturing parent now. Know that love heals and leads to reconnection.

For more information see:

Association for Prenatal and Perinatal Psychology and Health (APPAH) www.birthpsychology.com

The Alliance for Transforming the Lives of Children (ATLC) www.atlc.org

Natural Child www.naturalchild.org

Robin Grille’s 2005 book ‘Parenting for a peaceful world’ and 2008 book ‘Heart to heart parenting’

Bruce Lipton’s 2002 ‘Nature, nurture and the power of love: the biology of conscious parenting’ DVD. Bruce’s 2001 ‘The biology of perception’ DVD and 2005 book ‘Biology of beliefs’

Steve & Sharon Biddulph’s 2000 book ‘Love, laughter and parenting’

Thomas Gordon’s 1975 book ‘Parent Effectiveness Training’ – still one of the best!

Louise Hay’s 2007 ‘You can heal your life’ DVD, books and online courses

Rob Williams’ 2001 ‘The psychology of change’ DVD and 2004 book ‘Psych-K the missing piece peace in your life’.

Joe Dispensa’s, 2007, Evolve your brain: the science of changing your mind, DVD and book.

Categories
Conscious Evolution Healing from child abuse Health Sustainability

The evolution of consciousness

This is a great video focused on all the topics I love! Rob Williams who created it describes it as ‘The world is in crisis and transformation. Now, our civilization has the opportunity to evolve it’s thinking. We are beginning to realize that the old ways of competition and “survival of the fittest” are not sustainable, for individuals, businesses, or the planet. Nature may be our most qualified life coach, with millions of years of experience in creating sustainability. It’s time to look to Her wisdom for some answers. It’s time to do something different! The evolution occurs when we try smarter- not harder!’

The video explores what we can learn from ancient wisdom from indigenous cultures, from nature and from neuroscience. It shows how we can change and create a more sustainable world for us all. One of the things I love out of the video is its acknowledgment of the principles of nature including interconnectedness. Rob shares some of the many cultural greetings that acknowledge this interconnectedness including:

  • India – “Namaste” – the divinity within me recognises and honours the divinity within you
  • Mayan – “In’ Lakesh” – I am another you
  • Africa – “Eh-ti-zain” – How is your soul perceiving the world
  • Lakota / Native American – “Mitakuye Oaysin” – All are related
  • Polynesia – “Aloha” – I recognise the presence of divine breath in you
  • German – “Gruss Gott” – Greetings God

He shares findings from neuroscience, physics and biology to show that scientific minds also believe in these principles of nature. For instance, Erwin Schrodinger, Nobel Prize Winner in Physics 1933, is quoted as saying “The total number of minds in the Universe is one.” While Albert Einstein is quoted as saying “A human being is a part of the whole called by us universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feeling as something separated from the rest, a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty. Nobody is able to achieve this completely, but the striving for such achievement is in itself a part of the liberation and a foundation for inner security”

Rob explains how our subconscious beliefs affect what we think, feel and do. He shows how much of current society is based around beliefs of separateness, survival of the fittest, greed is good, etc and how these have led to the state of the world we see. He explains a scientifically proven process for changing subconscious beliefs called Psych-K and encourages people to change their subconscious beliefs to align with the principles of nature – such as cooperation, collaboration, harmony, balance, and interconnectedness. This would dramatically change the way that we operate in the world.

Psych-K is just one of many techniques now available that enable change of subconscious beliefs. I am trained in Psych-K and use it on myself on a pretty much daily basis to change any negative, self defeating or just unhelpful beliefs that I discover. It has been one of the most significant tools I’ve used in my healing journey.

Categories
Conscious Evolution

Heart Matters: Our goal is joyous living

Life is a surprising twist of events each leading you to where you need to be, for nothing happens by accident. What we perceive as misfortune is actually a gift helping us turn within and seek answers in the only true place they exist.

Outside sources can give us glimpses of truth, of messages of the workings of the Universe – for these do exist, but each person has the specific insights that they need. Their soul speaks their language and can give the appropriate medicine at the perfect time. Trust in your soul and higher self – for they are you. You can not escape them. You can not disconnect from them. You may not feel or sense them when you are emotionally distraught, but they are always there encouraging you on, encouraging you forward on your evolutionary journey – to open and be all that you can be, to let go of fear and open to love. Love of self, of others, of Planet, of God and the Universe – love of the glories and mysteries of life.

This is bliss, this is connection and this is JOY ABSOLUTE. This is your purpose on Earth to reach that state of fullness, to shine so brightly you inspire others to awaken just by being next to them. This is the goal to live so joyously that your joy is contagious. What a great way to be! Follow your heart beloveds, follow your heart and find your freedom. We love you, you are always loved and held in the embrace of the Divine, for we are all around you cheering you on.

This message is from the heart of the one called Jodi-Anne, a message from her higher self, her soul to humanity. There is nothing unique in her ability to write these messages, for any body can do this if they become still enough to hear our whispers, to feel our love and to shine their light. Blessed Be. Enjoy your day. Adieu.